-Welcome to "The Tonight Show," everybody.
[ Cheering and applause ] Hey!
You made it. You're watching.
Thank you. Happy Friday!
Happy Friday, everyone.
[ Cheering and applause ]
The long weekend is here.
It is the unofficial start of summer.
[ Cheering and applause ]
Of course, the official start is whenever your cousin
accidentally hits your uncle with an off-brand firework.
[ Southern accent ] It's like, Oh, Trevor!
I only got eight fingers left.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Hey, I saw a new survey
that said, this weekend, the most popular food --
this is a real survey -- the most popular food to buy
is meat
[ Laughter ] and the most popular drink
is beer.
[ Laughter and applause ] -Whoo!
-Even crazier, when asked about weather,
the most popular response was sunny.
[ Laughter ] It's like, "Who does these surveys?"
[ Laughter ] Yep, meat and beer, yep.
Sounds like a grocery list you find on the floor
of a Bass Pro Shop.
[ Laughter and applause ] It's like, "Sorry."
[ Southern accent ] I got to go get that.
[ Laughter ] Meanwhile, this weekend,
a lot of people are going to get hit with extreme heat
in some parts of the country.
Temperatures could get up to triple digits.
[ Oohs and cheering ]
Right now, everyone with a pool is like,
[ Whispering ] "Hit the lights. Pretend we're not home."
[ Laughter ]
But this is exciting -- tomorrow all of New York City's
public beaches will be open for the summer.
[ Cheering and applause ] -Oh.
-Perfect timing.
New York City beaches are the same as other beaches,
except, instead of whistles, lifeguards just yell --
[ Italian accent ] Oh!
[ Laughter ]
Oh! Girl, you go out too far!
[ Laughter ]
Oh! Look at that wave! Oy.
[ Laughter ]
It's a big weekend in the sports world, too,
because this Sunday's the Indianapolis 500!
[ Oohs, cheering, and applause ]
So, between Memorial Day travel and the Indy 500,
gas should be
$32 a gallon by Tuesday.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Yep, 500 miles is what they drive, yeah.
I kind of wish all the drivers had to use Waze the entire time.
It'd be fun. Like, "In a half a mile, turn left.
In a half a mile, turn left.
In a half a mile, turn left."
[ Laughter ] The NFL just announced
that Pepsi is no longer hosting the Super Bowl Halftime Show.
-Oh. [ Oohs ]
See? [ Laughter ]
In fact, the NFL has already replaced them with a new sponsor
and I think is going to be a little different this year.
Check out this commercial I saw.
-What's up, America?
You like the Super Bowl, but can't stand Pepsi?
Well, Pep-see ya later, [bleep]!
'Cause this year's Halftime Show is brought to you
by Mtn Dew Flamin' Hot!
The only drink that torches your insides.
Whoo!
Move over, Left Shark.
Take the weekend, The Weeknd.
'Cause we P.O.D. playing their entire discography.
You like cheerleaders? [ Whistle blows ]
Too bad!
We replaced them with Juggalos.
[ Laughter ] They don't like sports,
but they do have a lot of questions about magnets.
Every wanted to see a tattooed Adam Levine
played quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers?
Well, buckle up, [bleep].
'Cause that [bleep] is happening.
And we did not prepare him.
And stay tuned for the end of the game.
We ain't dumping Gatorade on the coach.
[ Buzzer ] His ass is getting doused
in Mtn Dew Flamin' Hot.
And he will need to go to the hospital.
[ Siren wailing ] Yow!
It's the...
[ Cheering and applause ]
-That looks pretty good. -It's a lot different.
-It looks pretty good. Well, guys,
"Top Gun: Maverick" is out this weekend.
[ Cheering and applause ] Big, big, big movie.
Movie of the summer.
And get this -- I read that Tom Cruise actually goes
to see all of his new movies in theaters, in disguise,
just to see how the audience reacts.
[ Laughter ] I think that's pretty cool.
I wonder if he's the only big star who does that.
-Yeah, I guess we'll never know.
-I'm sorry.
Who said that?
-Nobody!
[ Laughter ]
Now, you get back in there and kick the show's ass.
-Oh.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Wow.
-Weird. I feel like I
know that guy. [ Laughter ]
-♪ It's like you're my mirror ♪ -♪ Woh oh ♪
-♪ My mirror staring back at me ♪
-♪ Woh oh ♪ -♪ I couldn't get any bigger ♪
-♪ Oh oh ♪
-♪ With anyone else beside me ♪
[ Laughter ] -Okay, that's enough. That's enough.
[ Cheering and applause ]
Some big TV news --
Season 4 of "Stranger Things" is out today.
[ Cheering, whistling, and applause ]
-That's right.
In this season, the gang tries to solve the big mystery
of why they don't just move the hell out of that town.
[ Laughter ]
Meanwhile, the new "Obi-Wan Kenobi" series
just premiered on Disney+.
[ Cheering and applause ] That's right.
Obi-Wan Kenobi got a spinoff,
while Jar Jar Binks is waiting by the phone like,
"Any minute now." [ Laughter ]
Well, guys, it's Friday, and you know what that means.
Get loud, because it's time for "Fish Reactions."
[ Cheering and applause ]
♪♪
-Aaaah! -Fish Reactions!
-Fish Reactions!
-[ Chanting ] Fish Reactions, Fish Reactions, Fish Reactions.
-One small step for a man.
-And now, it's time
-[ Laughs ] -for...
[ Glass breaks ]
[ Laughter ] -Let's take a look at our --
Let's take a --
[ Laughter and applause ]
Let's take a look at our --
[ Laughter and applause ]
Let's take a look at our first fish.
[ Laughter, awws, and applause ]
This guy looks like he just walked in
on his parents spawning.
[ Laughter and applause ]
This has been "Fish Reactions."
♪♪
[ Cheering and applause ]
[ Laughter ]
And, finally, Costco has confirmed that,
despite inflation, they will not raise the price
of their $1.50 hot dog and soda combination.
[ Cheering and applause ]
Although, it's a little concerning when
the price of meat is going up, but Costco's like,
"Not a problem." [ Laughter and applause ]