I REALIZED LATELY I'VE GOT A LITTLE CRUSH ON THIS SHOW.
I THINK SHE'S KIND OF CUTE AND I HOPE SHE LIKES ME BACK.
AND ONE OF THE REASONS I LOVE THIS SHOW IS BECAUSE IT ALLOWS
ME TO TALK ABOUT SO MANY OF MY PERSONAL INTERESTS: SCIENCE,
POLITICS, THE REHYDRATING BOOST OF MOUNTAIN DEW KICKSTART.
BUT SOMETIMES I LONG TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING DEEPER WITH
ANOTHER DEEP PERSON.
AND WHEN I GET THE URGE TO SCRATCH MY DEEP ITCH-- OR MY
DITCH, IF YOU WILL-- I LIKE TO ASK BIG QUESTIONS WITH EVEN
BIGGER STARS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) MAN, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL
NIGHT.
I JUST LOVE LISTENING TO ALL THOSE FROGS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> YAY!
WHAT A NICE NIGHT!
YUP, YUP.
YEAH, THANK YOU, STEPHEN.
I LOVE LISTENING TO YOU, TOO.
>> Stephen: HEY, KERMIT, YOU YOU EVER WONDER WHY WE'RE HERE?
>> I THINK IT'S BECAUSE YOUR PEOPLE REACHED OUT TO MY AGENT?
I'M PRETTY SURE ABOUT THAT.
YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: HEY, CERMT THE FROG?
>> YES, STEPHEN THE PERSON?
>> Stephen: IF YOU HAD A TIME MACHINE AND COULD GO BACK, WHAT
WOULD YOU TELL YOUR CHILDHOOD SELF?
>> I WOULD SAY, "JUST WAIT.
YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT WHEN YOU GROW YOUR LEGGING."
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: I BET THAT REALLY COMESAISE SURPRISE.
>> PRETTY TOUGH WHEN YOUR TAIL FALLS OFF.
>> Stephen: KERMIT, DO YOU MIND IF I ASK YOU SOMETHING MAN
TO FROG?
>> SURE, SURE.
>> Stephen: DO YOU THINK IT'S TRULY BETTER TO GIVE THAN TO
RECEIVE?
>> YEAH, UNLESS IT'S A HIGH FIVE, AND THEN EVERYBODY WINS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
GIVE ME ONE.
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO HIT ME, PAL.
( LAUGHTER ) HOW'S THAT?
I THINK WE MADE THAT WORK.
( APPLAUSE ) YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE-- WHAT'S THE BIGGEST NUMBER YOU
CAN THINK OF?
>> OH, HMMM, 8.
>> Stephen: JUST-- JUST 8?
>> WELL, LISTEN, PAL YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT IN PERSON.
IT'S HUGE.
( LAUGHTER ) HEY, STEPHEN, WHAT'S YOUR
BIGGEST REGRET?
>> Stephen: OH, THAT'S NOT INVENTING SUITCASE WHEELS.
>> I KNOW, RIGHT, RIGHT.
>> Stephen: IT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US THE WHOLE TIME.
WHY WERE WE DRAGGING THEM?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
COULD HAVE MADE A LOT OF MONEY.
>> YUP.
>> Stephen: A LOT OF GREEN.
>> A COUPLE OF WHEELS.
HEY, LISTEN, STEPHEN, DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW
STATISTICALLY, OF COURSE, WE ARE BREATHING THE VERY SAME AIR
MOLECULES THAT ALBERT EINSTEIN BOUNCE BREATHED?
>> Stephen: I WAS WONDERING WHAT THAT SMELL WAS.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S BAD.
IT'S JUST LIKE AN OLD DUSTY BOOK OR SOMETHING.
>> Stephen: OH, YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: HEY, KERM.
>> YEAH, STEVE-A-RIMO.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THE SOUND OF ONE HAND CLAPPING?
>> WELL, I FIGURE IT'S SOMETHING LIKE THIS... YOU KNOW?
( LAUGHTER ) >> I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER YOUR
HAND.
I CAN'T-- YOU'VE GOT-- >> SORRY.
YEAH, YEAH, GOOD POINT.
HEY, STEPHEN, WHAT IS IT THAT MAKES YOU, YOU?
>> Stephen: OH, I THINK IT'S 12 WRITERS AND TWO HOURS OF
MAKEUP.
>> OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: HEY, KERMIT?
>> YEAH, BUDDY.
>> Stephen: DO YOU THINK MONEY CAN BUY HAPPY JOONS OH, I SURE
HOPE NOT.
YOU'RE TALKING TO A GUY WHO DOESN'T HAVE ANY POCKETS?
LAUGH.
>> Stephen: OR MIGHT I POINT OUT, PANTS.
>> TRUE, TRUE.
YUP, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'LL JUST...
( CLEARS THROAT ) HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
HOW MANY ROADS MUST A MAN WALK DOWN BEFORE YOU CAN CALL HIM A
MAN?
>> Stephen: OH, THAT'S SIMPLE-- TO GET TO THE OTHER
SIDE.
>> OH!
THAT'S PROFOUND.
WOW.
>> Stephen: KERMIT?
>> YUP.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S YOUR BIGGEST REGRET?
>> OH, SIGNING UP FOR HIGH SCHOOL BIOLOGY CLASS.
>> Stephen: WOW.
OOOH.
>> YEAH.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> TOUGH.
YEAH.
MAKES MEANTIME TO CROSS MY LEGS AGAIN.
>> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH.
>> YEAH, IT'S TOUGH.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: KERMIT, DO YOU THINK WE HAVE FREE WILL, OR IS
THERE SOMEONE CONTROLLING OUR EVERY MOVEMENT?
>> GEE, UM, I GUESS I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT?
HEY, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: YEAH, KERMIT?
>> DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE WE'RE BEING WATCHED?
GLI CERTAINLY HOPE SO.
( LAUGHTER ) AFTER ALL, I'M ON TELEVISION.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND SO ARE THE MUPPETS.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: THE MUPPETS, TUESDAYS AT 8:30, ON ABC.
THE GREAT KERMIT THE FROG, EVERYBODY.