foreign
man who's uh got his own talk show and pedal Jimmy Kimmel Live and had recently celebrated
seventh anniversary isn't that remarkable seven years time ladies and gentlemen here
he is Jimmy Kimmel how you doing I'm doing well thank you how are you uh uh
great you look like you lost weight I guess I haven't seen you in a year or
so but how do you want to trust actually yeah well it certainly does the trick uh
I don't want to derail you but have you ever been to snoop's house well no I no I haven't
no I don't I don't even know where he lives he lives out in California I can give you the address
if you want no thanks I'm fine it's um it's a beautiful home it's sexy comfortable and it um
Snoop had me over to your buddies you and Super Buddies we're very close Rachel he almost
recognized me in the hall I went to his house and it's uh it was very cloudy in his house and
I was affected by that the weather in the house really to the extent that I wound up going through
snoop's refrigerator and he had some whipped cream in there and just squirting whipped cream into my
mouth and then there was chicken and I um just started plowing through it really like I think
I had the bucket on my head and I heard Snoop elbow his friend and he he said quietly but loud
enough that I could hear it he said my nephew done gone through six pieces of chicken already
he thinks of me as his nephew yeah yeah nice can you get that on the machine I don't know how it
works either to be honest with you know I'm going to try it first the alley backstage is twittering
and she knows how to do it really really okay say that to me again Jimmy what did he say he
said my nephew wait a minute I gotta find the quote thing okay okay my nephew okay eight I'm
sorry oops you could just do it the letter a two and the number eight you don't have to write on
Twitter that's one of the great things about it please please okay my nephew my nephew done
done eight now that's that grammar is a little faulty isn't it that's a good way to get shot Dave
Why is my
six pieces of chicken six p i oopsie i e c e s of chicken already okay now already a l l
or a l one okay I think we'd have to ask Snoop hey this ain't exactly college bowl all right
thank you there he is is there extra security tonight okay please please Jimmy
okay my net fan without six pieces of chicken already okay I'm gonna tweet it yeah tweet it
by the way in my own defense they have given me a left-handed computer
and then you push the thing oh I forgot that yeah
see this is ah okay ah all right this is similar to the vibe at snoop's house right now
everything's in slow motion okay that should be it it's gone
oh thank you that's great
uh what else is new with uh you a boy you know I I can't tell you how much I enjoyed uh your
participation in the Jay Leno Scandal that was oh thank you thank you that's a scandal
bank and I do want to say to you thanks for inviting me to your Super Bowl party well you
know now don't worry we didn't have enough room I would love love to come Oprah Oprah had final
say on the guest that must have been uh it was it was interesting I've known Jay a long long
time and it was just it was just got to be fun I mean it just really got to be a lot of fun it
did I would like to keep it going but you you we had him we were drowning him and you threw
a lifesaver out there during the Super Bowl no I think we can still fire it up and we can now
you you did an entire show as Jay I did yeah yeah it was um it's fun to be Jay you know it's easier
really yeah it is you should try it but Jay um Jay I did do I dressed up as Jay well you
guys are friends right we're very close yeah we we uh we used during the strike we spoke on the
phone he would call and give me advice and I would you know agree with it or whatever and
um I imitated how I dressed up I had the chin and everything and then he called me
the next day I was a writer's meeting and they said Jay's on the phone and I just went oh no
this is not good but I went to the phone I was like I better get it over with and Jay
felt actually he said Oh I thought yeah I think the news it's funny it's funny
my nephew done a thick piece of chicken already I can intersect that's what you call him mashup but
um so I you know I felt relieved that he thought it was funny and then an hour later they called
and asked me to do his show and then you went on and did the 10 at 10. I went on and did the
10 at 10 and I asked him um well he asked me 10 questions about nothing and I asked him 10
questions about stealing Conan's job from him and and then I I did not get a call the next thing
what I what I loved about it it was just it was it was it was fun it was funny and nobody got
hurt the only people that got hurt was NBC they lost hundreds of millions of dollars we don't
care about NBC I mean Jay didn't get hurt you didn't get hurt Conan didn't get hurt I certainly
didn't get hurt and it was just a lot of fun I think Conan might disagree but um yeah no he Jay
was I don't think Jay was happy because he went on the Oprah show and said I sucker punched him
which you know he's always running the title to Oprah whenever something happens like and uh I
didn't feel like I did Sucker Punch Yeah but then I looked it up in the dictionary and it turns out
I did yeah but but the truth of it is this is like it we it used to be when we would all be
at the comedy store and we were always insulting and attacking one another and we couldn't have had
a better time at it and to me that's what it was reminiscent of it was a lot of fun it was
a great deal of fun yeah it was a lot of fun I'm gonna miss it I really am that's too bad
I um we're talking about this you play you don't play golf do you no no no no uh but the big story
course said and do you know Tiger Woods you're friends with him no no never been to his house
nothing no no calls it's exciting in the world of golf for the Masters in it to be an enormous
keywords there being in the world of God's exciting because the world of golf is not exciting
my agent loves Tiger Woods James baby doll Dixon is his name James baby doll Dixon baby doll Dixon
and well how does the guy get a nickname like baby calls everyone baby doll so he'll start calling
him baby doll in return and now it's just baby baby baby doll baby baby baby all over back and
forth it's ridiculous and is this a nickname he picked up in prison I mean honestly where
what is that all about my cousin Sal gave it to him actually so close enough yeah but
um he loves Tiger Woods more than a cocktail waitress loves Tiger Woods I mean he loves
so last year he really does he would absolutely have sex with him last
year before the whole thing happened you know you guys heard about that right yeah
before what tiger calls the worst Thanksgiving ever occurred
tuning off the Hollywood Wax Museum was right across the street from our theater and they
were auctioning off the Tiger Woods wax figure and I thought what a great gift this would be
for baby doll yeah you know so I'd been on it now maybe we can go on eBay next after
you conquer Twitter I've been on it and I didn't want to lose it so I bid a few thousand dollars
do you mind if I asked the price what did you end up paying I wound up paying like twenty
four hundred dollars or something a bargain really well they do nice work at the house
so about an hour after I'd been on it he calls and goes baby he says baby did you hear this
selling the Tiger Woods uh wax figure I said yeah yeah what do you think about that knowing I had
been on it he goes it looks like a piece of crap oh and now I spend the next month hoping I don't
win but I win and the thing comes to me and um it's in a coffin it's like I mean it's like how
else do you ship exact sized human yeah made of wax right I have to send it to his house and now
he gets he gets this coffin and he prys open the top and inside is a lifeless Tiger Woods
so he decides this he decides I now like this because my client has paid thousands of dollars
for it and I'm going to put this in the bedroom which was not did not go well with his wife yeah
so tiger got demoted to the den and tiger stands in his den now and the kids love
it because they bring their friends in and it scares them you know so
um about a month later a baby's daughter is in the shower and she calls her mom and dad are out and
she's like come home there's someone in the house I hear somebody in the house so they say hang up
and dial 9-1-1 we'll be right there so she dials 9-1-1 they call 9-1-1 everyone converges in the
house the daughter runs out onto the lawn she's in her towel she's like there's somebody in there the
police like okay we'll take care of this they go into the house and they come out about six minutes
later Furious the guy says why didn't you tell me you had a Tiger Woods wax figure in your house
I almost shot it the guy that I have not drawn my gun in 15 years until today
we're taking a look at here this is what we're talking about Tiger Woods
a tiger and you can see they sent along a golf club cover with a tiger yeah that's very
good just like the real tiger so it's always something with this Tiger Wood
well that's quite like that's a 2400 like yes it is you you got your okay uh we have to go
because I I run long and so she's got the whistle that's what I hear that's what it was listen uh
Jimmy it was nice to no whistle for that nice to see you again nice to see you enjoy yourself
Jimmy Kimmel ladies and gentlemen weeknights 1205 ABC we'll be right back Kirsty alley