SO MANY THINGS HAVE HAPPENED SINCE WE WENT ON VACATION.
WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO TALK ABOUT ALL OF THEM, BUT FROM THE
SERIOUS SITUATIONS, THE IRAN NUCLEAR DEAL, BILL COSBY, YADA
YADA HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU, BLACK LIVES STILL MATTER,
WHITE WOMEN NOT GETTING PICKED UP-- OR GETTING PICKED UP IN THE
BRONX.
VERY BIZARRE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) RIGHT?
BY TAXICABS.
AND TOM BRADY AND THE PATRIOTS STILL CHEATERS.
BAM!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) BAM!
BUT OUR TOP STORY IS THE KENTUCKY COUNTY CLERK WHO HAS A
LITTLE BIT OF AN ISSUE WITH DOING HER JOB WHICH ENTAILS
GIVING OUT MARRIAGE LICENSES TO THE GAYS.
>> WHY ARE YOU NOT ISSUING MARRIAGE LICENSES TODAY?
>> UNDER WHOSE AUTHORITY ARE YOU NOT ISSUING LICENSES?
>> UNDER GOD'S AUTHORITY.
>> Larry: PARDON ME.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THE SPORTS AUTHORITY.
( LAUGHTER ) THE CAMPING DEPARTMENT WON'T LET
YOU GET MARRIED.
THEY JUST THINK YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN ALL THEIR CAMPING
EQUIPMENT.
OKAY, SO SHE STOOD HER GROUND, THE JUDGE PUT HER IN JAIL, AND
SHE SENT OUT HER LAWYER TO LET US KNOW HER DEMANDS.
>> NUMBER ONE, SHE HAS NO INTENTION TO RESIGN.
SHE WILL CONTINUE TO SERVE THE PEOPLE OF ROWAN COUNTY AS SHE
HAS DONE FOR SO MANY YEARS.
AND NUMBER TWO, SHE WILL NEVER VIOLATE HER CONSCIENCE AND NEVER
BETRAY HER GOD.
>> Larry: OKAY, THAT IS A SERIOUS NUMBER TWO.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
YOU NEED TO SIT FOR A LONG TIME TO COME UP WITH THE-- WELL,
WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU, KIM DAVIS.
ANYTHING ELSE WE CAN DO TO HELP YOUR INTERPRETATION OF HOW OUR
SOCIETY FUNCTIONS?
GOOD LORD, SINCE WHEN DO FEDERAL EMPLOYEES GET TO RENEGOTIATE THE
CONDITIONS OF THEIR EMPLOYMENT?
RIGHT?
I MEAN, LIKE HER JOB HAS TO MATCH HER VIEW OF THE WORLD IN
ORDER FOR HER TO WORK.
YOU'RE NOT TAYLOR SWIFT.
YOU DON'T GET TO MAKE A VIDEO SET IN AFRICA WITH NO AFRICANS
IN IT.
ALL RIGHT?
BUT SHE'S GOT A LOT OF SUPPORT AND PEOPLE ARE CALLING HER BRAVE
BECAUSE SHE'S SPEAKING HER MIND.
( LAUGHTER ) SHE'S SPEAKING HER MIND.
BUT IF SPEAKING HER MIND HURTS OTHER PEOPLE, THAT'S NOT
BRAVE.
THAT'S ( BLEEP ).
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HERE'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW.
WHY IS SPEAKING YOUR MIND A QUALITY ADMIRED AND REWARDED
ABOVE ALL OTHERS RIGHT NOW?
DOESN'T IT SEEM LIKE THAT?
I MEAN IT, DOESN'T MATTER THAT DONALD TRUMP CALLED MEXICANS
RAPISTS.
HE WAS SPEAKING HIS MIND.
I'M VOTING FOR HIM.
HE'S SPEAKING HIS MIND.
I CAN'T LET THOSE GAYS GET MARRIED BECAUSE OF MY BELIEFS.
WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR BELIEFS.
THE WHOLE POINT OF HAVING A GOVERNMENT JOB IS NOT TO GIVE A
DAMN.
THAT'S WHOLE POINT.
( APPLAUSE )
JAIL.
NOW, HERE'S THE THING.
YOU WOULD THINK AFTER A SHAMEFUL INCIDENT LIKE THIS SHE WOULD
KIND OF QUIETLY WALK OUT THE BACK DOOR, GO HOME, AND
CONTEMPLATE WHAT JESUS ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT-- MULTIPLYING FISH,
RAISING PEOPLE FROM THE DEAD, TURNING WATER INTO WINE, AND
ALSO LOVING THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF.
BUT REMEMBER, WE'RE IN KENTUCKY.
( APPLAUSE ) WE ARE IN KENTUCKY, AND IT'S AN
ELECTION YEAR.
SO INSTEAD OF COMING OUT QUIETLY, SHE FULFILLED THE
SCRIPTURES BY EXITING JAIL THUSLY.
>> I BELIEVE THAT HER ACT IS GOING TO WAKE UP THE
POLITICIANS, THE PASTORS, AND THE PEOPLE.
WOULD YOU PLEASE HELP ME WELCOME TO THE STAGE, KIM DAVIS.
( "EYE OF THE TIGER" PLAYING ).
>> BOOO!
>> Larry: IS MIKE HUCKABEE PLAYING "EYE OF THE TIGER"?
YOU'VE GOT TO ( BLEEP ) BE KIDDING ME.
THAT'S RIGHT, THIS COUNTY CLERK CAME OUT OF JAIL TO A CROWD FULL
OF SUPPORTERS WAVING CROSSES TO THE THEME FROM "ROCKY."
AND NOT THE ORIGINAL "ROCKY," BUT "ROCKY 3".
( LAUGHTER ) I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS, BUT
WHEN I SEE A GROUP OF PEOPLE IN THE SOUTH WITH WHITE CROSSES,
CHEERING TO NOT ALLOW PEOPLE THEIR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS, IT
KIND OF JUST GIVES ME A TINGLY, LYNCH-Y FEELING.
( APPLAUSE ) THE GUY COVERED HIS FACE "OH,
NO! IT'S LARRY'S FIRST DAY BACK AND
HE SAID 'LYNCH-Y'."
WHAT DID SHE HAVE TO SAY?
>> I JUST WANT TO GIVE GOD THE GLORY.
HIS PEOPLE HAVE RALLIED AND YOU ARE A STRONG PEOPLE!
>> Larry: OKAY, UM, I LOVE YOUR PASSION, BUT BE CAREFUL
WITH THE NAZI ARM.
( APPLAUSE ) JUST SAYIN'.
BUT AS FAR AS FOX NEWS IS CONCERNED, IT IS ALWAYS THE
SEASON TO MAKE A HORRIBLE COMPARISON.
>> YOU KNOW, MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. SAID WHENEVER MAN'S LAWS
CONFLICT WITH GOD'S MORAL LAW, WE HAVE TO OBEY GOD'S MORAL LAW.
BUT THAT BELIEF LANDED DR. KING IN A BIRMINGHAM JAIL, JUST AS IT
LANDED KIM DAVIS
IN A KENTUCKY JAIL.
>> BOO!
>> Larry: ( BLEEP ) YOU KNOW YOU'VE NEVER QUOTED DR. KING IN
YOUR LIFE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) RIGHT?
COME ON.
YES, I KNOW IT'S A GENERALIZATION, BUT YOU KNOW I'M
RIGHT.
SO LET ME SEE IF I'VE GOT THIS RIGHT.
A LADY FORCING HER RELIGIOUS BELIEFS ON TO AN ENTIRE
COMMUNITY REFUSING TO DO HER JOB REMINDS YOU OF KING'S 7000 WORD
MEDIDATION ON NON-VIOLENCE AND RACISM IN THE CHURCH
I HAVEN'T SEEN SOMEONE MISS THE POINT SO DRAMATICALLY SINCE THEY
MADE ROBERT De NIRO THE INTERN IN "THE INTERN."
IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
AND JUST TO CLARIFY FOR THE KIM DAVIS SUPPORTERS WHO THINK THIS
LADY IS A DR. KING.
IN HIS LETTER FROM BIRMINGHAM CITY JAIL, KING ACTUALLY
CONDEMNED THE CONTEMPORARY CHURCHES AND SAID FAR FROM BEING
DISTURBED BY THE PRESENCE OF THE CHURCH, THE POWER STRUCTURE OF
THE AVERAGE COMMUNITY IS CONSOLED BY THE CHURCH'S SILENCE
AND OFTEN EVEN VOCAL SANCTION OF THINGS AS THEY ARE."
MARTIN LUTHER KING WAS ACTUALLY IN OPPOSITION OF THE CHURCH'S
UNWILLINGNESS TO SUPPORT THE OPPRESSED.
KIM DAVIS IS USING HER POSITION TO OPPRESS PEOPLE EVEN MORE.
( APPLAUSE )
WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN DOES NOT NECESSARILY PUT YOU ON PAR WITH
MARTIN LUTHER KING.
JEFFREY DAHMER WAS IN JAIL BECAUSE HE BELIEVES IN EATING
PEOPLE.
THAT DOESN'T MAKE HIM A FREEDOM FIGHTER.
( APPLAUSE )
COMPARE KIM DAVIS TO SOMEONE FROM THE 1960s CIVIL RIGHTS
MOVEMENT, IT SHOULD BE THIS GUY.
THAT'S RIGHT.
ALABAMA GOVERNOR AND DIPPITY-DO POSTER BOY GEORGE WALLACE.
WHO FAMOUSLY STOOD IN THE DOOR WAY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA
IN DEFIANCE OF THE SUPREME COURT ORDER TO DESEGREGATATE
>> I STAND HERE TODAY AS GOVERNOR OF THIS SOVEREIGN STATE
AND REFUSE TO WITTINGLY SUBMIT TO THE ILLEGAL USE OF POWER OF
THE CENTRAL GOVERNMENT.
>> Larry: THAT'S WHAT KIM DAVIS SOUNDS LIKE, LESS LIKE
"LETTERS FROM A BIRMINGHAM JAIL," AND MORE LIKE WORDS FROM
AN ALABAMA BIGOT. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.