it's gonna take you back to the past to
play the shitty games that suck ass he'd
rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea
dump in his ear
brother right [ __ ] of a roadkill
skunk and down it with beer he's the
angriest gamer you ever
[Music]
Micke kids is nothing more than an
advertising vehicle much like games such
as yo noid and 7-eleven spot now some
people out there may actually like this
game and to be fair it isn't one of the
worst games in the NES library there are
definitely much crappier games such as
Bugs Bunny's birthday blowout and Silver
Surfer for example so anyway let's check
out Mick kids
so there's Ronald with his magic bag bag
of hallucinogenic drugs I always thought
that clown was one scary [ __ ]
the Hamburglar stole his bag apparently
all right this is the first level now
does it look familiar so where have I
seen this before jumping around
collecting M's Oh like coins and Mario
Brothers like yeah that's where I've
seen this it's just like Super Mario
Brothers 3 let's check it out I mean the
map looks similar same idea the stages
are designed the same jumping on enemies
I mean everything looks the same
Mario's controls were a lot better
though well pretty much everything is
better so back to MIT kids you know I
changed my mind it actually is pretty
original I mean walking upside down I
mean that's pretty creative whoa makes
me feel sick they must have been on
crack when they came up with this game
so you go around collecting cards that
you need to beat the level so there you
go in the Ronald's magic zipper running
around through magic McDonald world God
that really makes me nauseous
and don't try to kill anything with
those blocks that it really doesn't work
too well collect some more useless
embers that don't do anything all right
here's a shitty bonus game you jump on
these arrows that make you go up you got
to jump on the white ones until you get
to the top and then when you get to the
top you go into another zipper and you
collect someone ups which aren't really
that important because there's a part
where you can get a whole bunch of him
then you go to birdie stage a stupid
feathered [ __ ] bird [ __ ] the cute
smiley face you know it's a big problem
with this game I mean you never know
what's below you you just fall and die
[ __ ] boss this games so bad they
actually invented a way to end it by
pushing start and select at the same
time so you get this block which makes
you heavier so you can jump higher well
lower really and now you have another
one up that you don't need so that's
just a waste of time oh and look I died
anyway so what a waste Oh God look a
McFlurry man those guys are badass so
how do I get that card Oh every kid
knows how to do this just get the secret
passageway under the clouds yeah that's
easy to figure out kids will have the
patience to figure that out cuz you know
kids have a lot of patience especially
the ones with a TD such as myself then
you go to grimaces bored
here's grimace that big purple [ __ ] look
at his house it looks like Barney the
dinosaurs testicle
okay so here's the part where you can
get a billion 1ups so you just get to
one up here and then you go back into
the board again you die here but you
always get one extra so if you have an
hour to waste then there you go have fun
you're completely wasting your time
anyway if you're playing this game as I
am let alone make a [ __ ] video about
it and some people like to call one ups
extra guys or free man's I like to call
them life insurance look how bad the
jumps are look at this what a shitload
of [ __ ] all I want to do is get down in
that barrel but it's such a pain in the
ass it keeps bouncing me back up
[ __ ] farts it never ends with this game
it's just like an infinite turd coming
out of my ass just like an endless rope
I mean when the [ __ ] are gonna be over
I can't stand this [ __ ] watch the moose
grab a block and try to kill him
unfortunately it just bounces and misses
them now look at this would you ever
guess that you're supposed to jump off
this cliff this ship really Minds me a
Super Mario Brothers 3 again and also
why is this guy walking on water who
does he think he is Jesus Christ then
you got to talk to the professor another
one of Ronald stoner friends and he
tells you to get more cards which makes
me just want to punch them even worse
you got to go to the moon where you meet
cosmic now who the hell is cosmic did
they run out of McDonald's characters
what about Captain crook or Big Mac no
cosmic I never heard of him I guess
there's nothing more you can expect but
a shitty character like that I mean I
bet the people who designed this game
were paid minimum wage so anyway you're
on the moon so you're floating around
and then there's these tentacles that
come out and kill you wherever you go
and you really gotta bust your balls to
find all those cards like there's this
one that's high up in the air and even
when you get it you jump back down and
some
kills you and you got to start the whole
level all over again ass balls so here
you are at the last stage robble robble
you got to get the cards from Hamburglar
so you got to get across the lava by
throwing these blocks in it while all
the stuff is shooting at you walk so
look at this this is some kind of track
you have to move on but you can't
because the controls are so hard
so do you hit a or B I don't know I have
no idea how to control this you think
you can just hold the a button or
something but no of course not that
would be too simple they have to make it
like you do these little taps with a
button to make it move I mean the
controls just suck ass what a piece of
[ __ ] a little kid could never figure
this out so finally when you get through
all these crazy obstacles you get up
here you walk all the way to this lava
pit and you don't have any blocks to
float over it you can't go around it so
what do you do guess you just got to
commit suicide