(upbeat music)
- That's why Plato was a huge jagoff.
(bell ringing)
Class dismissed.
- Wait but you didn't give us any homework.
- Dave can I talk to you for a second in private.
- Look if this is about the dick pics,
I mean you can't just say hey that's your dick.
- No, that' not, that's not it.
What do you mean by dick pics?
- My friend his name's Dick and he's short.
- Okay.
Well listen Dave, I understand that
you're quite a competitor with women.
- You mean a player?
- Yes a player.
Now I'm getting into the game and I needed some advice
'cause I'm going out with a very
high temperatured woman tonight.
- You mean hot woman?
- Yes hot Woman Studies professor, yes.
- I don't think I can help you.
- Well then maybe I'll do a little investigation
into those ding dong photographs.
- I'll help.
- Good, thank you.
Okay, now what happens when a woman and a guy, they go out.
(tinkling music)
I'm professor Rich, expert in science.
These are my devoted students.
Together with the aid of harmless drugs,
we explore sciences greatest hypothetical questions.
(upbeat music)
E equals MC squared, discovered by Albert Einstein.
What does it mean to us?
- Well it's perhaps the most famous scientific equation
in all of history.
- Boom.
- Hmm if it's so famous then why have I never heard of it?
- The beauty of this equation is it's simplicity.
E which stands for energy, equal mass times
the speed of light squared.
- So what you're saying is E equals MC squared.
- Yeah, exactly.
But what if we were wrong?
What if E did not equal MC squared?
- Well I guess that would make it
two times that I don't give shit.
- I don't know professor,
I mean it's a pretty iron clad theory.
Countless scientists.
- Come on people open up your minds.
(grunting)
Not that way Pat.
I needed to speak to someone well versed
in Einstein's field of expertise.
So I tracked down a professor on the internet.
So if you could explain in the simplest terms
Einsteins' equation E equals MC squared.
- Oh of course.
- I mean I know it, but.
- When Einstein came up with that equation the basic
statement he was making was that you can get energy
from mass and from mass you can get energy.
And what made those equal was C the speed of light squared.
So E is equal to MC squared.
- What if we turn this on it's head and said,
what if E did not equal MC squared?
- Right.
- I know I have trouble carrying the one,
what if Einstein forgot to do that.
- The main question we have is how does general relativity
tie into quantum mechanics which is the small scale.
Once we are able to do that we're gonna be able
to tie the big structure of the universe to the tiny atom.
- I have a question.
- Sure, go ahead.
- I'm having a date tonight and I was wondering
if I should wear a bolo tie?
- Well do you have a really good cowboy hat to go with it?
- I have no hats.
- Then you shouldn't wear a bolo tie.
- Thank you very much.
(upbeat rock music)
- Wow.
Nice outfit, midlife crisis.
- Thanks.
- Here's the thing you just don't wanna do anything weird.
Laters.
- Wait, where are you going?
I need you to be my wing man.
(laughing)
- On a date?
No that is a bad idea.
- I need you to give me some advice like close by
like those ear piece shows.
I don't wanna end up with soup all over me or something, no.
- There she is.
Okay just go.
Yeah go.
- Hello, I'm Professor Susan Camberwell.
You must be Professor Rich.
- Enchante.
Um who gives a shit right?
- Right, well um, shall we get something to eat
or is that too compassionate for you?
(laughing)
- Oh!
- Made you flinch.
- Why?
- I dunno, it's fun.
Food here is very underrated don't you think?
- I usually don't come here.
I'm a strict vegan so I go off campus.
Have you ever been to Papadums Don't Preach?
- Yes, I mean no, but I mean I think
off campus is very underrated.
- Where do you go, like what?
- Local Art.
- Oh, have you been to Schwartz's Gallery they feature
these art paintings directly from vaginas.
- Ow!
- It's a ghost.
Ah I gotta go, great date.
(shrieking)
- God, I knew this plan wouldn't work.
I tried to tell him.
I'm sorry.
I'm David.
- Hi.
- Fucking soup.
I was confused.
I needed to speak to the man himself.
Surprisingly I found him on the internet.
In 5,000 words or less how would you describe
your special Theory of Relativity?
- E equal MC squared where E equals energy, M equals mass,
C equals the speed of light.
The speed of light is 186,000 miles per second.
- Okay Einstein.
- Yeah.
- No really.
- Oh, okay.
- Oh keep going.
- So it was that equation that
gave birth to the atomic bomb.
- Have you ever been wrong about anything?
- Well I have to think real hard about that one,
but I denied quantum mechanics,
and I was wrong about that one.
- Is it possible that E doesn't equal MC squared?
I rest my case.
- No it's not, it's impossible.
When the light went near the Sun, then it bent.
- Right.
- That took care of that.
- Explain please.
- It's in the math.
- So wait, wait, wait, wait.
You expect us to believe that you met with Albert Einstein?
- Did he say that his theory could be wrong?
- Well you know, humans are wrong, he said,
so his theories could be wrong.
He loves Warcraft by the way.
- [Girl Student] Oh.
- Really?
- [Rich] Yeah.
- Maybe I should look into this guy.
- Oh hi Susan, what brings you here?
- I just came to apologize.
- Oh don't worry I mean I think we got of on the wrong foot.
- Uh I'm sorry I had to leave your dorm so fast,
I had an early class.
- Oh don't worry about it baby.
You forgot your toothbrush.
- Thank you.
And thanks for that dick pic.
- Ah if it's long, send it along.
(laughing)
- Come here.
- You want a kiss or something?
- Yeah.
- Alright.
(bright music)
- I'll see you later.
- Wait.
- Okay.
- That's how you do it.
(upbeat music)
- My first marriage I had two children.
- Uh huh.
- And then like I said she wasn't taking care of me.
- Exactly.
- So I finally, my cousin.
- If you're cousin's around why not?
- And so we got married.
- Right.
- Actually I wanted to marry my cousin's daughter.
- I wish I had a cousin.
Oh really?
- Yeah she was 18, I was 38.
- You're like the Woody Allen of science.
- Well.