- See, Sarah Lynn?
We're not doomed.
In the great, grand scheme of things
we're just tiny specks that will one day be forgotten.
So it doesn't matter what we did in the past
or how we'll be remembered.
The only thing that matters is right now, this moment.
This one spectacular moment we are sharing together.
Right, Sarah Lynn?
Sarah Lynn?
- You're responsible for your own happiness, you know?
- Good Lord, that's depressing.
- No it's not!
- I'm responsible for my own happiness?
I can't even be responsible for my own breakfast.
You're a real stupid piece of shit.
But I know I'm a piece of shit.
That at least makes me better than all the pieces of shit
who don't they're pieces of shit.
Or is it worse?
Breakfast.
You're a real stupid piece of shit
and everywhere you go you destroy people.
Of course your mother never loved you,
what do you expect?
That's why Sarah Lynn died,
that's why Charlotte will never forgive you,
what are you gonna do to Hollyhock?
What are you gonna do, asshole?
Shut up!
If I'm shitty, that's just because I'm shitty
and you're allowed to be mad at me.
But you need to know that whatever I do,
it's not your fault.
- I know.
I mean, I know, but I don't always know, you know?
Like sometimes I have this tiny voice in the back of my head
that goes like "hey, everyone hates you
"and they're not wrong to feel that way."
- I know what you mean.
- That voice, the one that tells you you're worthless
and stupid and ugly, - Yeah?
- It goes away right?
It's just like a dumb teenage girl thing but
then it goes away?
- Yeah.
Don't you get it?
This is my last chance to make people love me again.
If this goes out everybody's gonna see the real me.
Now I spent a lot of time with the real me,
and believe me, nobody's gonna love that guy.
- Okay.
Now if you'll excuse me I need to go take a shower
so I can't tell if I'm crying or not.
I don't understand how people live.
It's amazing to me that people wake up every morning
and say "yeah, another day, let's do it."
How do people do it?
I don't know how.
So I stopped at a Jack in the Box on the way here
and the girl behind the counter said "hiya,
"are you having an awesome day?"
Not "how are you doing today?"
No, "are you having an awesome day?"
Which is pretty shitty,
because it puts the onus on me to disagree with her,
like if I'm not having an awesome day
suddenly I'm the negative one.
Usually when people ask how I'm doing
the real answer is I'm doing shitty.
But I can't say I'm doing shitty
because I don't even have a good reason to be doing shitty,
so if I say "I'm doing shitty",
then they say "why, what's wrong?"
And I have to be like "I don't know, all of it?"
So instead when people ask how I'm doing
I usually say "I am doing so great."
But when this girl at the Jack in the Box
asked me if I was having an awesome day
I thought "well today, I'm actually allowed to feel shitty.
"Today I have a good reason."
So I said to her "well my mom died."
And she immediately burst into tears.
So now I have to comfort her, which is annoying.
And meanwhile there's a line of people forming behind me
who are all giving me these real judgy looks
because I've made the Jack in the Box girl cry.
And she's bawling and she's saying "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"
and I'm like "it's fine, it's fine,
"I mean it's not fine, but you know, it's fine.
"And I would like to order a Double Jack meal
"and I've kind of got somewhere to be
"so maybe less with the crying
"and more with the frying, huh?"
And the girl apologizes, again,
and she offers me a free churro with my meal.
And as I'm leaving I think "I just got a free churro
"because my mom died."
No one ever tells you when your mom dies
you get a free churro.
Maybe because you're skinny,
and maybe 'cause you're pretty
you're used to getting away with things,
but I want you to know that your actions
have an effect on others,
and I hate you and you are a horrible person,
and you not understanding that you're a horrible person
doesn't make you less of a horrible person.
- Who wants an autograph?
- He's so stupid he doesn't realize
how miserable he should be.
I envy that.
- What happened BoJack?
- Same thing that always happens.
You didn't know me then you fell in love with me.
And now you know me.
- You know, it's funny.
When you look at someone through rose-colored classes
all the red flags just look like flags.
- I guess my question is do you,
do you think it's too late for me?
- What?
- I mean, am I just doomed
to be the person that I am,
the person in that book?
It's not too late for me, is it?
It's not too late,
Diane I need you to tell me that it's not too late.
- BoJack, I--
- I need you to tell me that I'm a good person.
I know that I can be selfish and narcicisstic
and self-destructive but underneath all that, deep down,
I'm a good person and I need you to tell me that I'm good.
Diane?
Tell me, please Diane, tell me that I'm good.
I feel like I was born with a leak.
And any goodness I started with
just slowly spilled out of me and now it's all gone.
And I'll never get it back in me.
It's too late.
Life is a series of closing doors, isn't it?
Nobody completes anybody, that's not a real thing.
If you're lucky enough to find someone
you can halfway tolerate you sink your nails in
and you don't let go, no matter what.
- So what, I should just settle?
- Yes, thank you, exactly, settle.
Because otherwise, you're just gonna get older
and harder and more alone.
And you're gonna do everything you can to fill that hole
with friends and your career and meaningless sex,
but the hole doesn't get filled.
And one day, you're gonna look around
and you're gonna realize that everybody loves you
but nobody likes you.
And that is the loneliest feeling in the world.
- You could never say it to me,
and you still can't say it to her.
- That's not true.
I can express feelings.
Nothing on the outside, nothing on the inside.
My mom died and all I got was this free churro.
You know the shittiest thing about all of this?
Is when that stranger behind the counter
gave me that free churro, that small act of kindness
showed more compassion than my mother ever gave me
her entire goddamn life.
Like how hard is it to do something nice for a person?
This woman at the Jack in the Box
didn't even know me.
I'm your son.
All I had was you.
Suddenly you realize you'll never have
the good relationship you wanted,
that as long as they were alive,
even though you'd never admit it,
part of you, the stupidest goddamn part of you
was still holding on to that chance.
And you didn't even realize until that chance went away.
My mother is dead and everything is worse now.
Because now I know I will never have a mother
who looks at me from across a room and says
"BoJack Horseman, I see you."
(soft music)
♪ Janis Ian told it very well ♪
♪ Janis Joplin told it even better ♪
(tires screech)
♪ Billie Holiday even told it even better ♪
(horse whinnies)
♪ We always ♪
♪ We always have a story ♪