G: What?
A: I didn't prepare anything.
G: I was gonna comment on how your shirt
is an old school JBU shirt.
Feel like you've worn it before. A: Igor...
G: Igor you can't be opening beers in the background.
G: Can I have one?
I: Yeah, you want one?
G: Yeah
G: Thanks, boo.
I: Hope this doesn't block-- A: Gaby took your beer.
G: Get your own beer, John.
A: John, come say hi to the camera.
G: Just come say hi for a second.
John, we need an intro.
Just come say hello to the camera, John.
A: We need people to know you're real.
G: This is like when we can't get Sugar to get on the couch.
A: I know. Both: John! John!
John, just come over here!
Nooo!!!
[theme music]
A: One time my mom and my dad,
they're the same height,
and I guess cause they've been married for so long
they ran out of things to do so they, um
measured each individual body part to compare the lenght.
And everything about my mom was longer
but then my dad caught up just by how big his head is.
G: Your dad does have a big head.
A: What's the topic?
G: It's about the ways that people think
depression and anxiety manifest and the way they actually do.
A: Just depression and anxiety?
G: Or both, like... A: What about OCD?
G: Yeah, so like... Here's my first question for you
In topics JBU. A: I'm ready.
A: Can you ask me all the questions and I'll just answer?
G: What do I do?
A: Ask the questions. G: I wanna talk.
A: Oh, sorry. G: For example, when people say
"Oh my god, I put these things in color order,
I'm so OCD." How does that make you feel?
A: Like, that they're an idiot.
G: Explain why.
A: OCD isn't something I would wish on my worst enemy.
Because then they'd get more organized and they could win.
[laughing]
A: But even that's wrong because I know
other people where their OCD is
crippling kind and so they can't actually
get things done because of their OCD.
It's become a punchline to a joke
when in reality it's like a mental illness
and it's also a lot of levels to it and, you know
for me it was never like "oh, maybe I should get this checked out"
it was like "oh my god, you're insane, go to the doctor."
And that was me at 4.
G: It's not like that thing of "oh, she's just quirky."
Quirky isn't what OCD is.
A: Yeah. It's an interesting thing that
people seem to want to have it.
G: Yeah, explain that.
A: I can't! I also think that it is like
an escape code to being picky.
G: Yeah.
A: So it's like "Oh my god, sorry, can you do this, I'm so OCD."
And it's like oh, when were you diagnosed?
G: I love when you ask people that.
I love it, it's so uncomfortable!
But there's also that thing when people go like "oh, I'm so depressed."
But what they really mean is sad. A: Yeah.
G: They're not depressed. Depression is like a chemical imbalance
in your brain that like, for me at least,
my depression is physically painful.
A: See, but to me, I, I think I've been depressed,
but I've never had it the way you've had it.
I've always been like a high-functioning depressive.
So I've never fit that mold of like
can't get out of bed, can't do blank,
you know, but there's an overwhelming sadness to everything I do.
G: You think I seem depressed?
I'm a little depressive.
A: Yeah, but you will like go an entire day and not get out of bed.
G: Yeah. A: I've never ever done that.
G: Yeah. So depression's, a lot of time people will be like
"Oh you're depressed. We need to come to your house, pull you out
of bed and bring you to a party!
We need to, like, oh, she's just sad.
Maybe I can make it better with cookies or something."
But what for me depression is like - is always been - debilitating.
Mine's like, I think, a major depressive--
It's just kind of no motivation,
no seeing the point to the future,
and also the big thing that I always wanna stress is that I'm in physical pain.
It's manifesting in like, my chest hurts,
my stomach hurts, my arms hurt,
my back hurts.
When people are like "Just get up!"
I'm like, "I'm in physical pain."
A: Who's told you to just get up?
G: Like a lot of people.
A: Really? G: Yes, because I think they
don't understand what depression is.
A: I don't know if I fully understand either.
I don't know if I understand any of it.
Sometimes I'll be like
oh, this is clearly a result of my OCD,
and my therapist will be like no, it's not. That's just regular neuroticisim.
Other times I'll talk about something she'll be that's clearly from your OCD.
And I'm like "What?"
G: I've heard this from other therapists, ABC thinking.
So A is what's actually happening,
B is what's in your mind,
and C is your reaction.
And for me, you have access to A and C.
You don't have access to B.
So A might not make sense to C,
but to me it makes complete sense.
So either I have to get rid of B
and just have the reaction to what's actually happening,
or I have to let you in on B
so you'll understand why I'm reacting the way I'm reacting.
A: Yeah. And I think that that's something that you need to learn.
G: That's a huge thing, multiple therapists have brought that up.
A: I honestly think that I've become
too judgmental of other people
in that I work so hard managing my mental illness that when I see
other people haven't I get mad.
So in a way I think that I'm more harsh on people who haven't
because I think that a lot of people
don't wanna actually deal with it.
G: Well, it's easier to be in denial and avoid it. I did that for years.
A: I know. And that was rough.
I can see like other people who have never experienced it themselves
they have a lot of empathy for it and they'll allow a lot of it to go by
and they feel uncomfortable saying oh maybe you-- and enabling it--
but whereas I take more of the approach of you gotta get this under control.
Like there's no excuse not to go to the doctor. You have to go to the doctor.
G: Some people don't have the resourches. They grow
up in a family where the family wasn't encouraging them to
get help for their mental illness.
A: But I think, and this is where the harshness comes in,
I think that if you are woke enough to
have seen our channel then you are
woke enough to go to a doctor.
G: Yeah, or even like sliding scale therapy.
A: You can go online now and download apps.
You'll get people who will talk to you via text message.
I think that if you have had the resources to be watching this video
then you'll have the resources to help yourself.
G: Or even like do to a library and get a book about like, what you've...
A: Get an anxiety work book!
You have to address it.
G: The worst thing is pretending that nothing's wrong,
which I certainly did for a very long time.
A: I think the more that people don't address it
the easier it is for other people to say it's not a real problem.
If you have a physical problem you have to go to the doctor.
G: Like if your foot's falling off. A: Right.
But like if it's something like "oh it's fine"
then people will take your word for it
and think that oh, I guess it's not actually a real thing.
When it is, and it's something you need to address.
G: Yeah. Or...
A: Ooh, I'm getting riled!
Sugar, do you feel how riled I am?
G: What about anxiety?
I think our anxiety manifests in different ways.
I've become increasingly anxious.
More. A: I've become less and less anxious.
G: I know. I think I have more social anxiety now than I used to.
A: Really? G: Umm-hmm.
I used to be like the life of the party.
And now I'm like very, I get nervous to talk to people.
More than I used to.
A: See, I'm not nervous to talk to people.
G: At all? A: I just don't want to.
G: I used to have like party friends.
Where I would go out and it was just
I didn't even know their last names and we were just party friends.
And now the idea of having party friends
I'm like I'm not gonna follow up with you man and like I gotta go home.
A: I think that there's a misconception
potentially, about addressing your mental illness and giving into it.
I think that we should definitely talk about
our anxieties and be aware of our mental health and check in
but I also think that there can be a time when you get
too comfortable with it and that you've
become, um, everyone knows that you're anxious about something
so that you keep vocalizing it.
And I think that you have to learn how to not vocalize that.
Because I think when you vocalize fears and anxieties
they can spiral and get worse.
So I think that while you
should be open about what's going on
with a professional and occasionally with your friends and family
you also have to do a lot of policing on yourself so that you're not giving into
these things and thoughts and spirals all of the time.
G: And just letting it become like "Well, I'm anxious."
And then just letting that be your whole thing.
A: Sometimes I repress stuff and that is in a way therapising myself.
G: Cause then it goes way? A: Kind of, yeah.
G: If I get nervous to go out I'm like "[snap] just do it!"
"Just don't sit and spent an hour to being like I'm gotta go out."
A: Sometimes you have to just say no!
That doesn't mean that you're not addressing your issues
and that you're not trying to help yourself,
it actually means that you are. And that you're not letting it win.
G: Why don't you write a book about mental health?
A: What's your offer?
G: And you have a little tiny pea head.
A: I have a pin head.
G: A little pin head. A: A little pin head.
Subtitles by the Amara.org community