[cheering]
- Amanda and I started our summer
in the sh---er.
I feel like you have resentment towards me.
- Yes, 'cause you cheated on me, Kyle.
I do have resentment towards you.
- Now, we're better than ever.
I wanna hang it in our first apartment together.
- Oh, my God, I'm gonna cry.
- Wait, there's more.
- It's a Christmas in July miracle.
It's snowing!
- Lindsay's unwrapping a Turkish delight
named Peyman.
- Okay.
I can't do that 'cause I'll melt.
- While Hannah and Danielle prefer their dick
from jolly old England.
- That kinda turned me on. I don't know why.
- And Jordan, like, what the (BLEEP) else
is there to say at this point?
We still can't figure the guy out.
- I model, like, whatever.
I'm the most eligible bachelor on a dating app.
- You have to call him out on that.
Last but not least, it's Carl and Paige.
She wants him to put forth more effort.
He just wants her to put out.
- Two on two, pool, later.
- Yeah, we can do a double date and go play pool.
- Once Carl stuck his cake out
where it didn't belong...
- Carl!
- Lindsay gave him some golden advice.
- I know she has options, but she doesn't give a (BLEEP).
- Put her on ice.
Move the (BLEEP) on.
- Looks like bullsh-- drama is back in season.
Merry Christmas, ----ers.
- Merry Christmas in July!
- Merry Christmas. Cheers.
- More foam!
[laughing]
- It's a beautiful piece of art!
- Carl, what's wrong?
- The Paige thing is-- I, like, I'm over it.
Like, no offense.
Like, I know she has options, but I'm not gonna lie.
Like, I am literally, like, the best guy
she'll ever meet in her entire life.
- Put her on ice.
- I've been vulnerable. I've played it cool.
I've legitimately embarrassed myself.
(BLEEP).
- Just move the (BLEEP) on.
- Done.
- Okay.
- Okay, thank you.
You're basically my sister.
- Of course.
- That I wanna have sex with.
[chuckles]
- "Ice her."
- Lindsay was saying, like, "If she's not into it,
"like, she's not worth it."
- I never said I wasn't into him.
- Paige.
- But, I've been on one date with him.
I don't talk to him all week,
and then we get to the house on the weekend,
and I'm supposed to be, like, all over him.
No, sorry, that's not who I am.
- And he's like, "Hey, let's make out in the pantry."
Like, no. - Yeah, like, no.
He's telling Lindsay that he's put all this work in,
and I'm just ignoring him.
But, in reality, you've just flirted with me,
which is not enough.
- You're single, and you don't owe him anything.
I don't wanna be-- - Well, someone's gonna be iced,
and it's not me.
- Yeah!
[laughing]
- Look at this.
- What the (BLEEP) is that?
- That's where you keep your Loverboy.
It's not gay unless you cum. You're fine.
Oh, ho, ho!
I don't know why everybody freaks out about turning 30.
I feel great.
Hannah, you don't wanna come sit on Santa's lap?
- Ew.
- I'm killing it in my career.
I can get any girl I want.
It can only get better from here.
- Hannah!
- Lindsay, come here.
- Oh, okay.
- Lindsay and I have had a summer of miscommunicating,
but Lindsay told me last weekend
that she deals with confrontation better
when you're open and honest with her.
- Just come to me. - I know.
- Like, I'm not this, like, scary person.
- So, I'm using this as an opportunity
to do exactly what she told me to do,
and now it's her job to show me
that she won't be a raging bitch.
Paige and Amanda think they overheard you
and Carl talking sh--.
- Carl was talking to me about his thing with Paige.
I'm not talking sh--.
- Yeah. - I--
- That's a miscommunication that's happening.
I'm letting you know. I'm letting you know.
- I'm being Carl's friend, and I'm talking to Carl
because I've known him for years.
- And I'm being your friend right now and letting you know
that there's a miscommunication happening.
- You know what? I don't have time
for people going around the ----ing house, again.
So, ----in' squash it, Hannah.
We're not in high school.
There is a really big age difference going on here
and a maturity situation.
These girls need to just cut the drama.
You have a problem.
Handle it like an adult.
You, come here. - What?
- Paige!
- So, Paige thinks that you and I were talking sh-- about her
when I was just being a good friend to you.
- I said, "Were you talking sh--?"
She said, "No." - Okay.
- "I have no problem with Paige."
- She just wants Carl to put Paige on ice.
- So, Lindsay basically said, "Squash the drama.
"I don't have time for this."
- Hold on. - I have no time for this.
- Hey, Hubb House, hold on.
- What-what-what's going on?
- We're fine.
- I'm just here for moral support,
and I'm a Christmas tree. - Hey, can I talk to you?
Relax. It's not a big deal.
- Basically, Paige, like-- I know, but they're young.
- It's not a big deal.
- I recognize this face.
This is right before Lindsay's about to lose it.
- You better ----in' bow to my ----in' feet.
I'm done.
(BLEEP) you, Kyle!
You got ----ing fired from your job.
- Are you kidding me?
- You're being a bitch about it.
- I'm just happy that I'm safe inside my Christmas tree suit.
- It's fine.
- I will go tell Paige myself.
- Carl, I'm here for you.
- I don't think Paige likes me. She's 25.
She wants to do other sh--.
And I'm the bad guy?
I've done nothing, man.
- No, but that-- - I haven't had sex in three months.
- What?
- Yeah, nothing.
- Time out.
You haven't had sex in three months?
- No.
- Well-well, maybe you should.
- I don't want to 'cause I'm not ready.
I wanna get my-- - You like Paige.
- No, I don't. Actually, I'm over it.
- Shh. Naw, really?
- Big time.
- I think the issue here is with Carl.
- Carl said, "Uh, oh, I'm the best she'll ever get."
- I'm sorry.
Paige, what did you hear Lindsay say?
- "(BLEEP) her. Put her on ice."
- Lindsay said that?
- No beef, though. No beef.
- That's bullsh--.
- Paige. - Yes.
- I want you to know, right now,
that I don't talk sh--.
- That we all overheard you talking.
- Okay, okay, okay, you're coming really aggressively.
- We all heard it.
- Why are we having, like, a committee here?
- Don't go around saying you're not talking sh--
when you said, "(BLEEP) her. Put her on ice."
- That's not me talking sh--!
That's me giving advice to my friend!
I don't need to have a committee!
- We're not having a committee.
- There's no committee. - So then, let's go!
- Don't say, "Come on, let's go," to me.
- I don't need to walk into a gang bang!
- Hey, guys, I feel like everyone's ----ing
yelling at each other, right now.
- What the (BLEEP)?
- Apparently, like, Paige overheard something
that you were telling Lindsay.
Whatever it is, I guarantee you it's stupid.
- Oh, God.