• From breaking up with a girl before climaxing, to learning about how kinky their relatives
are, the Planet Dolan crew re-enacts some of the best true stories from our subreddit
about the weirdest things they’ve heard or said during sex.
I’m [] and today I’ll be your narrator.
10 – DarkFaeBo When Ladybot still lived in her parents basement,
so she had to wait until the two were gone or asleep to comfortably get funky.
One night, Ladybot and her Boyfriend got down and dirty on the couch while her parents were
asleep.
As he entered her, he let out a loud, unintentional, "WHEEEEEEEP" in a really high pitched voice.
The two tried to keep going, but they just couldn't stop laughing and had to stop.
Luckily her parents didn’t wake up.
9 – ColonelQ Salty Squid was getting his freak on with
his girlfriend one night when he disrobed in front of her.
At that time, he must have been really fucking skinny, because as soon as he had done that
she screamed: "YOU LOOK LIKE A HOLOCAUST VICTIM" and ran from the room in a fit of giggles.
They still laugh about it to this day.
8 – SamSadie2 When Tolop was around twenty, he was dating
a girl long distance.
The day the two finally met, they rented a hotel room together and got straight to business.
In an effort to sound sexy, Tolop leaned down and whispered into her ear: “I’m gonna
wreck it.”
He totally forgot about Wreck it Ralph.
Needless to say, he was embarrassed.
Later into their escapade, she returned the favour and whispered to him, “Are you feeling
it now, Mister Krabs?”
It made them laugh so hard that they had to stop.
7 - BlackJester91
One time Princess Proton had invited her boyfriend over for the night to play Super Smash Bros
for the Wii.
While they were playing he suddenly scooted closer to her and the two began to make out;
one thing led to another and the they got naked.
Right as he thrusted in, he yelled "Lets-a-go!"
In his best Mario impression.
As funny as it was, the two continued, and just as he was about to finish he yelled "MAMA
MIA!"
6 - WhoeverReadThisIsGay While at a frat party, Sweet Commando started
to chat with one of his male classmates and his girlfriend while drinking.
They told him that they wanted to have a three-way, and that they thought he would be the perfect
guy to help them out.
Being curious, Sweets agreed to try.
As the three were getting it on, they ended up in a position so that Sweet was facing
his other male friend on top of the girl.
It looked like his friend was having a hard time enjoying himself, so Sweet got a weird
idea and leant in for a kiss.
“What the fuck are you doing?” exclaimed the friend.
In embarrassment, Sweet blurted out: *“I thought you wanted me to help arouse you so
I thought we should make out or something?”
* His friend was confused, but it made his girlfriend
laugh.
They ended up finishing what they started, but they still haven’t forgotten that awkward
moment.
5 - Morbus_Akura
As a child, Shima would often hang out with her brother and his boyfriend.
They all got along together, but Shima didn’t really understand their relationship until
she got older.
One night, while she was passing her brother’s room, she heard moaning.
Curious, Shima pressed her ear to the door, when her brother suddenly yelled “Strike
me like a bitch!”
Completely confused, Shima ran off to the bathroom.
Later in life the boyfriend explained to her about how her brother was a masochist.
4 - Organized-Closet Sometime in Ghost Toast’s youth, he was
playing games at his friend’s house along with his friend’s girlfriend.
After a while, his friend got up from the couch and told his girlfriend to come help
him with something in his room.
Ghost Toast didn’t think much of this until he started to hear bed-springs creaking from
his friend’s room.
Ghost Toast sheepishly decided to eavesdrop on his friend’s escapades.
His ear was pressed to the wall.
“I think we should break up,” said his friend, followed by a loud, masculine moan.
A few seconds later, the girl marched through the door and out of the house to her car.
She was stark naked except for the clothes she was holding in front of the important
parts.
Ghost Toast’s friend appeared at the doorway with a tissue box covering his dick and commented,
“It’s for the better.”
3 - Zafire000
On the day before a huge test during school, Spincess’s boyfriend was worried about her,
so he offered her some dirty deeds to help calm her down.
As the two settled into bed to get naughty, he whispered “talk dirty to me” into her
ear.
Because Spincess had been studying for so long, her mind could think of nothing but
her studies, so instead of sexy talk she blurted out random information about the human nervous
system.
After a moment of awkward silence he laughed and said: “If I’m getting on your nerves,
you should have said something.”
The two settled on watching a movie and cuddling together instead.
2 - PostingDude
Spinal Palm’s girlfriend always hated his Elmo impression despite how good he was at
it.
So one day, as he was going down on her, he decided to pull a little prank.
Just as his girlfriend was getting ready to climax, he thought it would be hilarious to
yell into her cave, “WOW IT’S SO DARK IN HERE” In his Elmo voice.
His girlfriend immediately kicked him in the face, but
it was so worth it.