>> Stephen: SO GOOD OF YOU TO BE HERE.
>> NICE TO SEE YOU, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO.
WE ALWAYS HAVE NICE CONVERSATIONS.
>> WE DO.
>> Stephen: THEY'RE BLEEPED FAIRLY FREQUENTLY.
>> THEY ARE.
>> Stephen: THE LAST TIME YOU WERE ON HERE, YOU'VE GOT A BOOK
TO TALK ABOUT LAST NIGHT.
YOUR LAST BOOK, I CAN'T SAY THE TITLE OF YOUR LAST BOOK.
>> WE SET A RECORD FOR BEEPING THE LAST TIME WE TALKED ABOUT
IT.
IN HONOR OF THAT MY NEW BOOK IS CALLED "MISS SUBWAYS."
I'VE ALREADY MADE THE DECISION TO CALL IT MISS (BLEEP) SUBWAYS
JUST SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT THE WAY WE WANT TO AND EXERCISE OUR
FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: THAT'S EXACTLY
RIGHT.
>> OR AS MY MOTHER COMES FROM EUROPE AND KNOWS THIS WOULD CALL
THEM MY FIRST (BLEEP) AMENDMENT RIGHTS.
>> Stephen: EUROPEANS ARE FAMOUSLY POTTY MOUTHS.
>> THEY ARE.
>> Stephen: THE BOOK, WE HAD TO BLEEP 32 TIMES, I UNDERSTAND
THAT'S GOING TO BE MADE INTO A MOVIE.
IS THAT TRUE?
>> YEAH, BUT I'M CHANGING THE TITLE.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S IT CALLED?
BUCKEY (BLEEP).
>> Stephen: YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY CALL SOMEBODY THAT.
>> IT'S CALLED AN ASTERISK INSTEAD OF THE "U."
>> Stephen: YOU CAN'T PRINT UP A POSTER.
>> STORMY DANIELS AND FAMPERSAND.
>> Stephen: I'M TRYING TO THINK OF WHAT THE FUN COULD
POSSIBLY BE.
>> SURE.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE DONE A LOT OF DIRECTING AT THIS POINT.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: DIRECTING "THE X-FILES."
>> AND I DIRECTED BUCKEY.
I'LL CALL IT BUCKEY FROM NOW ON.
>> Stephen: DO YOU LISTEN TO THE DIRECTOR WHEN YOU'RE AN
ACTOR?
>> ABSOLUTELY NOT.
AS LITTLE AS I CAN.
I HAD THIS EXPERIENCE WHEN I WAS DIRECTING AN ACTOR --
>> Stephen: WHO WAS THE ACTOR.
I WON'T, CAN'T SAY HIS OR HER NAME.
>> Stephen: A FAMOUS ACTOR?
MAYBE, YES.
>> Stephen: MALE OR FEMALE?
TARGET, YES.
( LAUGHTER ) SO MY ENTIRE CAREER, PEOPLE WILL
SAY TO ME, ESPECIALLY WHEN I WAS AUDITIONING, THEY WANT MORE
ENERGY.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE A LITTLE LAID BACK.
( LAUGHTER ) I SUPPOSE THAT'S TRUE, YES.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NOT PEJORATIVE, YOU'RE JUST LAID
BACK.
THAT'S YOUR STYLE.
>> OKAY, SO I'M LAID BACK.
BUT, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE THINK OF ACTORS NORMALLY WHEN THEY'RE
STARTING OUT AS HAVING THIS KIND OF I'M GOING TO JUST (BLEEP)
BITE THE WORLD AND -- EXCUSE ME.
( LAUGHTER ) I'M JUDT GOING TO TAKE THE WORLD
BY THE BALLS AND JUST -- >> Stephen: SURE.
BITE 'EM AND HAVE THAT KIND OF ENERGY.
( LAUGHTER ) I SUPPOSE.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
IT'S A DIFFERENT KIND OF A MOVIE.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
THE FELLATE SHOW.
( PIANO RIFF ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> SO I ALWAYS HATED IT WHEN A DIRECTOR OR SOMEBODY WOULD SAY
TO ME "MORE ENERGY.
SO I WAS SHOOTING THE SCENE AND ALL I COULD THINK OF WAS TO TELL
THIS ACTOR MORE EMERGENCY.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE ALREADY DONE A TAKE.
>> IT'S EARLY IN THE MORNING, IT MAKES SENSE, THEY'RE JUST
GETTING STARTED BUT ALL I CAN THINK OF IS MORE ENERGY.
I'M WALKING TO THE ACTOR OR ACTRESS AND THEY STOP ME AND
THEY SAY, DAVID, YOU KNOW WHEY YOU'RE SUCH A WONDERFUL DIRECTOR
BECAUSE A HACK AT THIS POINT WOULD COME UP TO ME AND SAY,
PLEASE, MORE ENERGY.
BUT YOU WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.
YOU, YOU WONDERFUL DIRECTOR, YOU WOULD NEVER SAY THAT, WOULD YOU?
AND I SAID...
NO...
NO, I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.
I WOULD SAY THAT WAS TERRIFIC, LET'S JUST GO AGAIN.
>> Stephen: WAS IT DeNIRO? WHO WAS IT?
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: DID YOU JUST WRAP
ANOTHER SEASON OF TH "THE X-FILE >> YES.
>> Stephen: DID THEY START 25 YEARS AGO?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: SOME PEOPLE WOULD SAY, "THE X-FILES," CRAZY,
ALIENS.
THIS PAST YEAR, SEASON 11 COINCIDED WITH THE RELEASE OF
REPORTS ON AN ACTUAL PENTAGON U.F.O. PROGRAM WHERE THEY
RELEASED VIDEO THEY COULDN'T EXPLAIN OF SHIPS DOING MACH 25
AND TAKING HARD TURNS AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS AFTER ALL THESE YEARS?
>> NO, BUT I BELIEVE IN THE FOX PUBLICITY DEPARTMENT.
>> Stephen: DO YOU THINK THEY GOT TO THE PENTAGON AND DID
THAT?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T ACTUALLY BELIEVE IT.
>> Stephen: ANYTHING LIKE GHOSTS OR --
>> I DON'T REALLY BUT MY SON IS CLAIMING TO HAVE A GHOST IN HIS
BEDROOM.
>> Stephen: HOW OLD IS HE?
15.
( LAUGHTER ) WHY IS THAT FUNNY?
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT'S FUNNY.
I DON'T KNOW.
( LAUGHTER ) UH-HUH.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO TRY TO GUESS WHY.
>> MAYBE WHEN WE WATCH IT LATER, MAYBE WE'LL GET IT.
>> Stephen: SURE.
HE SAID, I'M HEARING AND THERE'S A GHOST IN MY BEDROOM.
I SAID, CUT IT OUT, THAT'S BULL.
HE SAID, WELL, I RECORDED IT.
AND HE PLAYED ME THIS THING AND YOU CAN CLEARLY HEAR THIS VOICE
GOING "HELP."
AND I'M, LIKE, OH, (BLEEP).
>> Stephen: HELP?
HELP.
NOT YELP.
>> Stephen: I COULDN'T HEAR THE H.
COULD I GET THAT WITH MORE EMERGENCY?
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) YOU HAVE A BOOK CALLED "MISS
SUBWAYS," A NOVEL BASED ON AN ANCIENT IRISH LEGEND OF WHOM?
>> KUKULIN.
>> Stephen: WHO IS THAT?
AN ANCIENT IRISH KING AND HIS WIFE EMER, THE PROTAGONIST IN
THIS BOOK.
>> Stephen: SHE'S LIVING IN MORNING.
NEW YORK.
>> THE BOOK IS ABOUT WE'RE AN IMMIGRANT COUNTRY ANDS THE A
CITY MADE OF IMMIGRANTS AND MY SUPPOSITION IN THIS BOOK IS AS
THESE IMMIGRANT POPULATIONS CAME TO THE STATES THEY BROUGHT THEIR
CUSTOMS AND GODS.
AS THEY ASSIMILATED INTO WASPY CHRISTIAN AMERICA -- I DON'T
MEAN TO SAY YOU WHEN -- I DON'T MEAN TO LOOK AT YOU WHEN I SAY
THAT.
>> Stephen: I'M WHITE BUT NOT ANGLO-SAXON.
( LAUGHTER ) >> THE GODS THEY BROUGHT ARE
BORED BUT THEY HAVE NOTHING TO
DO SO THEY'RE STEAD F-ING WITH US.
AND THE MELTING POT OF AMERICA IS NOT QUITE A COUNTRY BUT THEY
HAVE THE BEST IDEAS AND THE BEST PEOPLE WILL GET TO THE BEST
PLACE NOT BY CENSORSHIP AND NOT BY THE ENFORCEMENT OF LAWS THAT
ARE ALREADY HERE BUT BY COMPETITION AND INTELLECTUAL
DISCOURSE AND IMAGINATION.
(
DAVID-- >> I DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT CAME
FROM.
>> Stephen: "MISS SUBWAYS" IS OUT TOMORROW.
DAVID DUCHOVNY, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!