Vanessa Lau: Hello and how is it going?
My name is Vanessa Lau from vanessalau.co and I'll help you hack your mind so that you
can level up your life and be authentically you through personal branding and personal
development tips.
In today's video, we are going to talk about the five major lessons that I learned after
graduating university.
When I was in university I had two major goals in mind, the first was to get an internship,
and the second was to get a full time job after university.
Now that you've accomplished these two major life goals, the question that you probably
have in mind is what's next.
Well, if you are a fresh graduate please stick around to the end of this video where I reveal
my number one lesson.
If you were an old graduate make sure to still stick around because who knows maybe you might
resonate with a lot of things that I'm saying or you might be able to share your lessons
to me in the comments section below.
Of course before I begin make sure you subscribe and hit the notification bell to be notified
when I post a new video every Wednesday.
Without further ado, just keep on watching and of course enjoy the video.
One of the major lessons that I learned right after graduating is that it's okay to not
be okay, and remember that success takes time.
I know exactly what it's like to feel on top of the world after graduating and only to
feel like you ain't shit, seriously wait to graduate and realize that it's like first
year again.
You're literally at your new job, you don't know anything and you're going to make a ton
of mistakes.
Trust me, I think I am queen of making mistakes at work and in life.
Remind yourself that this process is pretty much almost the same as your first year of
high school, your first year of university, it is a phase in your life that you will get
through and that a lot of people are going through.
Remember to stay present and just be grateful that you've gotten this far and look forward
to growing in the future.
Now, the second lesson that I have is to ask questions.
When you're fresh graduate, I know what it feels like to feel intimidated, embarrassed
to ask questions because you don't want your intelligence to be questioned, or you're shy,
or you just don't want people to think that you can't do it.
But if there is a question that you cannot solve yourself, you need to speak out and
be vulnerable, be humble, and ask about question.
Because when you ask questions people actually appreciate it a lot more knowing that you're
curious and you are making a conscious effort, and make sure that you have the right answer.
Another thing I have to mention is that when you ask questions, you're actually opening
the door to opportunity to connect with others.
Whether that's your colleagues or your manager or strangers, by opening yourself up and being
vulnerable and asking for help you'll be amazed at the connections that you might potentially
form.
But beyond asking for on the job help, it's also important to ask questions and seek answers
on topics surrounding life.
Like I said earlier, when you first graduate you're going to feel extremely lost.
That's why this is my third lesson which is to never stop learning.
When you first step into this new world of adulthood there's going to be a lot of things
that you don't have answers to, or that you're unsure of, or that you're frustrated about.
That's why it's important to seek education in the form of podcasts, movies, documentaries,
books, meeting up with strangers that are a couple steps ahead of you, or even friends
that are a couple of steps ahead of you.
Because when you open your mind to accept new information, you'll be really surprised
at the conclusions that you might come across.
Remember, just because university ends doesn't mean that education has to end.
Especially after spending four or five years in a narrow path of learning you'll be surprised
to know that there's so much more in this world that you don't know about.
By opening your mind to other perspectives, you're able to not only have more enriching
conversations with other human beings but also you'll find that you'll have a much more
enriching life as well.
Now, onto lesson number four which is probably one of the hardest lessons that I had to learn,
which is to know the difference between work and life because when you're a new grad it's
so easy for your work to really consume your life and it makes sense.
You're eager to please, you don't want to drop the ball and you want to give your 150%.
Not only that, especially for me when I look back on why I worked super hard in my job
is because I thought that, hey I worked really hard in my four years of university and I
graduated and I got a full time job.
Which means that in order to achieve the things I want to achieve at my job I have to work
hard as well.
That is the science of success is to work extremely hard, which is valid for some points
but you also have to remember that when you're in school graduation is the end but in life
graduation is when you die.
I really don't mean to sound morbid but it is true, that's why you need to take a step
back, I know that it's really hard and I struggled with it a lot, and sometimes I still struggle
with it but you just have to remember to be present and to practice as much self-care
as possible, and to make sure that your health is the number one priority.
If you're lucky enough to have some close friends kicking around or family nearby, make
sure to consciously unplug so that you can spend time with your loved one, because at
the end of the day you don't want to wake up and realize that all of your close relationships
have really gone into dust because you were too focused with tunnel vision focusing on
things that at the end of the day don't really matter as much as you thought they did.
Now, onto my last and favorite all-time lesson and that is, drum roll please.
It is okay to change your mind and it is okay to change your expectations.
In university, we have so many expectations for ourselves, we expect to love our first
job, we expect to keep the same friends, we expect to still be known for the go getter,
the marketing guru, the accountant, the athlete, et cetera, but know that this is an entirely
new chapter in your life and no one is keeping tabs on you anymore, everyone and I mean everyone
is so focused on their own shit that they don't have time to pay attention to yours.
That's why it's important to know that it's okay if you don't like your first job, it's
okay if you lose some friends, it's okay if you choose not to hang out with some friends,
it's okay to change careers, because what is important is that you don't let sunk cost
bias changed the way that you live your life.
What sunk cost bias essentially means is when you actually invest the time, the money, and
the effort into something, and you become so attached to this investment that you actually
stick to things that you no longer want to do.
One of my all-time favorite quotes comes from the famous economist John Keynes and this
quote actually helped me get through this way of thinking and get past a sunk cost bias.
John Keynes was once challenged a lot by people because he found that he kept changing his
opinion.
To answer these complaints this is what he said, "When events change, I change my mind.
What do you do?
When the facts change I change my mind.
What do you do?
When the information changes I alter my conclusions.
What do you do?
When someone persuades me that I am wrong, I change my mind.
What do you do?"
I find this quote to be incredibly powerful because it's true.
I know what it feels like to feel embarrassed to change your mind because you don't want
to look like you're unsure of yourself, or you don't want to look like a hypocrite, but
give yourself some credit because remember you never know if you like something before
you try it, and you are in a new phase in your life where everything is completely new
and you're still trying to figure it out.
That is why you need to give yourself the patience and the permission to test things,
to learn things, and to pivot, to change when things aren't working out the way that you
thought they were going to, because just know that you're not locked into the decisions
that you made in high school, you were not locked into the decisions that you made in
university, and you definitely aren't locked into the decisions that you make today.
Just remind yourself that you have the control to change something if it's not going the
way that you thought it was.
Give yourself that permission and give yourself that forgiveness.
Those were the five major lessons that I learned after graduating, and I really hope that you
found this video helpful.
There are definitely the lessons that I wish I had at least a glimpse of before I started
my first full time job work before I stepped foot into real adulthood, but at the same
time I'm super grateful that I was able to learn these lessons on my own.
I truly believe that these hard lessons in life that make you closer to becoming person
that you really want to be.
As always, if you like the video make sure to hit the subscribe button, the notification
button and also the like button so that I know that these are the videos that you want
me to continue doing.
Before I go, I also want to give a special shout out to my friends Claudia, Jennifer,
Mikaela, Katrina and Emily for helping me come up with some of the lessons that you
heard today.
Thank you so much for watching as always and I'll see you in the next one.