-Hello? -Kate.
It's Kurt, just came to pick up --
Captivus
-What? What is it? You always used to like this. -This feels wrong.
No, no, no. There's nothing wrong about it.
It's just been a while since you took a walk on the straight side.
-Ooh! -Aah, aah, aah!
-Hey, what did you just do? -Ow! Nothing.
-Get off. -Why?
Just do it.
I, I can't Kate.
-What? -It's stuck.
Impossible.
Hey.
Hello.
I'm sorry, I was such a prick.
- Hannah. - I knew it.
- Come on. - Just, w-w-w-wait!
I'm thinking about Kate.
Put this together, okay?
One, two, three, go!
Alright. Let's go, let's go.
-What the? You're doing it in front of me now? -No!
We're stuck together.
Oh that's original.
I can't believe I was gonna move in here next week.
Yeah, well, you know what neither can I.
I'm such an idiot!
-What are you doing? -What does it look like?
Great. Run!
But don't say I don't care about us
when you're the one, who's always leaving when things go a little off track.
Little off track?
Hey ladies, I hate to break up the pride parade but I'm dying here.
Shut up!
Hannah, I need you!
Talk about Karma, you're in an urban legend called "Penis Captivus."
Legend?
Where the muscles in the vagina clamp down on the penis.
Making it impossible to withdraw.
Caused by an uncommon form of vaginismus.
What? Let me see that.
- Excuse me. - Thank you.
Does it say how we get out of it?
Mmm, something about relaxing.
Try it.
What is that supposed to mean?
Just tell me what it said?
Yeah, agreed. Relaxation's not her strong suit.
Isn't that difficult to redirect your mail?
Or is it specific to your inadequacy because
-I move all the time. -Hey, there is nothing inadequate about me.
And you know what? It's my name still on the buzzer downstairs --
Guys.
Yeah, defend your strong tough husband.
I'm not defending him and he's not my husband anymore.
Yeah, well, I was for 9 years until you decided to take a little stroll down gay phase street.
It is not a phase.
Oh, by the way, she hates your painting.
I knew it.
I'm cramping.
- Let's just go to the hospital. - No way man! They're gonna cut this thing off.
I'll drive.
Hey, don't get all sourpussy just because she picked me.
She didn't pick you.
She's stuck to you, because you don't know how to leave.
Hannah enough.
Well, why does he keep coming around here?
Because I don't want to live without her.
Kurt.
I love you.
-Okay, you know what I'm not gonna sit around for this whole
-speech thing. -Sit down.
We had a great 9 years and
I don't know how I'd live without our friendship, but
this doesn't work.
And I love Hannah.
You do?
I do.
But I also need moderation and I don't need to
scream "I'm gay" from the rooftops
or hang a painting of my vagina in our home.
I couldn't care less about the label.
What I care about is you.
I needed to hear that.
For the both of us.
He's not going anywhere either.
Uh, go ahead guys.
Hey.
You're free.
Captivus.