- Hey here's to the test
- Coming back good.
- Good.
- Yeah
(sensual music)
- Whoa!
Yeah!
- Hey boys.
- Hey chicken.
Oh!
- Oh God.
Just clean up your drool when you're done, please.
- [Narrator] Every Hooters ever.
- Okay Kelly, final day of training.
Are you ready?
- Yup.
- Go for it.
- Alrighty, sir.
Here is your chicken and here is your beer.
- Hey hot stuff, want to feed me this chicken?
- Okay.
Ahhh!
(Rock music)
(kicking mannequin)
(sword stabbing mannequin)
- The student has to become the master.
- Yup!
- You're ready.
- I am! Let's go!
- Let's go serve some chicken.
- Yeah!
(Laughing)
(country rock music)
- Whoa!
(growls)
- Oh.
Oh!
Oh yeah!
- Overstimulated by all the raging typhoons
of masculinity surrounding you?
- Is it that obvious?
- Check under your seat?
They're man blinders.
They're horse blinders,
but for a men at Hooters.
- Oh, this is so calming.
- Oh! Also you get a complimentary feedbag.
(laughs)
(snorts like a horse)
- Okay, that's, you don't have to do that.
- I am horsey now.
- So, what are you in grad school for?
- Oh, I'm actually a stem major.
I'm just working here to pay for tuition.
- Of course you are.
- Okay, I'm back.
What did I miss?
- We are so close.
We just have to plug in a few more variables
and then we might be able to stop this meteor in time.
- Oh my God! All right, okay let's do it.
- Yeah.
- Okay, so, all right, so carry the four then bring it down.
- Hey, you got to deliver this chicken
to the man sleeping in booth 208.
(franticly speaking simultaneously)
- Ah! Fine!
- Gerald!
- He's always just hungry.
- Every Wednesday!
Every (bleep) Wednesday!
- Dear Lord,
we thank thee for this delicious chicken
from Hooter's delivery.
- Mama, do you think one day maybe
Chappy and I could visit the place
where the chicken comes from.
- No Pip, never ask this sinful question again.
The Lord giveth you chicken and he will taketh it away.
So now quiet!
- I've been there, and it was beautiful.
- Oh, oh no.
- Quickly, I require your swiftest owl.
- Sir, that's not what we
- There's no time!
I must get a message to the boy who lived.
- Okay, look, we get this mistake a lot.
We don't sell owls here. We sell chickens.
- I don't understand,
how can a chicken help with your magic?
- No, sir.
It's dead. The chicken's for eating.
Not for living.
- What is this sorcery?
- We fry it. I don't know.
- I see. Then I will try one fried owl please.
- Okay. Yeah. Come on.
- And a flagon of pumpkin mead.
- Um. How much do you tip here?
- Oh, I don't tip.
I just leave my phone number.
- What? Isn't that kind of (bleep) up?
- What?
No, dude, my attention is the tip.
These ladies love my attention.
Look, every time I come here
I write a sexy little love note
and then I leave my phone number.
And these ladies love it
because being noticed by me,
Kevin, is way better than financial compensation
for a food service job.
555 -
5569
Kevin
(gasps)
- Holy (beep), Kevin left a ten figure number
on the tip line again!
- Charge it! Charge it! Charge it!
Charge it! Charge it! Charge it!
Charge it! Charge it Charge it!
(screaming)
- Ma halo.
I would like to apply for a job here at this Hooters.
- Really?
- Yes, and if you don't hire me, that's sexist.
- All right, here's your uniform.
- Ma halo!
- Ma halo. Welcome to Hooters.
Can I interest you in our fried big fish pickle sandwich?
- Can I maybe be seated at a different table please?
Or like an entirely different section?
- I'll see what I can do about that.
(drum beat)
(sensual music)
- Whoa! On second thought. This table is totally fine.
(sensual music)
- I thought so.
(sensual music)
- Whoa!
(beep)
- Charge it! Charge it!
(chanting)
Charge it! Charge it!
(laughs)
(beep)
- No? I don't. Dear God, no you lost,
you lost your opportunity.
- No, chicken. Ahhh.
The test came back good.
(beep)
- That's where I met your mama.
- Oh God.
- She's a stem major.
- Yeah.
- That's how she paid to be a stem major.
- Aw this is ten years. Yeah
- I want to be a stem major.
- No! No daughter of mine is gonna be a stem major.
- No, God doesn't love smart women.
- You're going to be an artist of some kind.
- Yes.
- Under his eye.
- Under God's ass.
- That's it.
- Praise be.
- Praise be. Praise be God's ass.
- May the Lord open
(laughing)
The Hooters earlier, so I can,
so I can go into Hooters
- Hooters sooner.
- Sooner.
- You agree?
- Yes.
(beep)
(snorting like horse)
- Distraction, chicken, free beer.
That's a good ass man blinder right there.
- Yeah Kelly.
That's our patent.
They can't take (beep) from us.
- No, it's ours.
- I am man horse. I'm half horse, half man.
- We know what we have to do.
- We created a monster.
Time to water board him.
(beep)
- That is, We've all had a simple, a nice character arc.
How are you doing? What are you thinking about?
- (laughs)
- I don't, I don't care what body parts you like.
- I'm not, I'm not, no, I'm not trying to end on this one.
There are too many things that we're not going
(beep)
- These ladies love my attention.
I, every time I come, let me tell you what buddy.
(laughing)
(beep)
- Cause that's by the devil, that's why.
See look at him go he's one with his devil now.
- That's actually impressive.
(beep)
- Kelly, just help this mother (beep).
- Ha! That's correct. I did (beep) your mother!
Got him!
- Num num.
- And is this owl locally sourced?
- Yes.
- Amazing.
- [Director] Cut!
(laughing)
(beep)
- You see that guys big old dump truck?
- He's got, I hope he has a commercial driver's license
for that thing!
- I hope so!
- He's got a tractor trailer back there.
- He's pulling a whole wide load!
(laughing)