Cute trick, now choke up and hit a sac fly, rook.
Meet wiffle boy. The best wiffle ball pitcher in the world,
which will open up zero doors for him in life.
But I don't give a crap how ridiculous those pitches are,
I can take anyone deep.
Nice to meet you wiffle boy.
Actually, it's Shawn.
Well Shawn, prepared to be embarrassed.
You want a couple warm-ups?
One or two.
Am I exposed? 95. Why you throwing changeups?
Come on, bring the heat.
I'll take my base.
I got to get a different bat.
Pretty impressive Shawn, but now I'm going to see
if you can strike out my top three batters on team.0.
Heads up, two of them are Latino.
You ever see the movie Wanted?
No.
Don't worry, it's not important.
The only thing I regret doing was wearing
my Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses.
That was to the face. We're okay.
Please don't show that.
I wonder if D&G is going to do the right thing?
All right, Steven I got us this nice seedy hotel room
for the next two and a half hours
so you can unwind, why don't you tell me what happened that day?
A couple friends and I were going to a Phillies game.
And it was dollar dog night.
Dollar dog night?
Yes, it was.
How many hot dogs did you put away that game?
I had a decent amount, I'd say probably five.
Hold on. You had five hot dogs in you,
and you still ran like the wind, that's incredible.
Did your dad tell you not to do this?
I called him actually.
You called him before you ran on the field?
Yes.
And what did he say?
He said, "I don't believe that's a good idea, son."
Did you hang up the phone going,
"Well, he doesn't know what he's talking about?"
And then what happened?
Top of the eighth inning came, saw my opening,
jumped on that field and took off.
Right when I got to about center field,
I looked around, just saw that security guards
were getting on the field.
I see a security guard pointing a gun at me
with a green tip on it, I had no idea what it was.
Decided to call it quits, attempt to dive on the field,
and then there it was.
So you had given up? Yes.
Before you were even shot?
That is correct.
At this point, were you, "This was a horrible idea."
Or were you still, "I'm glad I did it."
I was just in shock that everything went down.
I actually got tasered.
What did you think was going to happen
when you ran on the field?
Really didn't have any clue, I just want to get out there.
But you knew you'd get arrested, right?
Well, yes. I knew something like that was going to come.
Had you been drinking?
No, not at all.
That was probably why it took seven officers
and a taser to bring you down.
Yeah.
Did he ask if you had a heart condition before he tased you?
No.
So this is the shirt you wore?
Yes. It's actually a blood stain where I've got shot.
You didn't have a Tide stick on you?
No.
Take me out to the ballgame, take me out to the crowd,
buy me some crackers and some peanut jacks.
If I ever get back.
Then he goes back, right? Root for the home team.
For the Knights.
For the Knights, okay.
Root, root, root for the Knights.
If they don't win it's a shame.
One, two, three strikes your out here at the old ball game.