this is an allers english podcast episode 1850 two questions about gals and girls in english
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in american culture should you refer to women as girls or gals today we dive into
how these words can be used and why it's so important to move away from labeling
according to gender so that you can connect with people on another level
hey aubry i have a question for you today oh let's hear it so when's the last time you hung out
with the gals oh i have some really good neighbor friends some ladies that i hang out with a lot and
we went and got margaritas at a mexican restaurant right before i headed to idaho and they were
delicious i got a strawberry margarita salt on the rim oh my heck it was so good oh wow yes i love
margaritas yes my favorite i think oh yeah so fun and time with the gals that's so fun right you're
good friends you know being yourself out in the world such a good time i know right i feel like um
sometimes you have to hold some things back with certain groups of friends but
sometimes you'll have a certain group of friends that you know so well you have so much in common
that you really can just be laid back be yourself there's no stress it's so nice i love that i know
all our listeners probably have that too and they know what that feels like so that's something
you know that's a human feeling right so yes for sure this is going to be interesting today
guys we've had two listener questions about when it's appropriate to use the words gal and
girl and these are such good questions because not a lot of people think about it some people i think
use these words not realizing they might be causing offense so i'm grateful for the questions
and i'm excited to talk about it yeah guys part of what we want to do for you on all our english
is not just the grammar the vocabulary we're here to show you how to connect and connection is also
understanding kind of the deeper context right getting the society the culture understanding the
norms right that's what we're talking about here for connection so should i read masood's question
yeah let's go with question number one question one and this was a masood wrote his question
in an app review so thank you for using the euler's english app and thank you for reviewing us
here we go i'm not quite sure how i found you two years ago but it's been one of the best lux ever
i listen to the show every morning when i'm driving to work it's been part of my daily routine
the way you teach american english is a game changer for sure i listen to the show through
the app and the notification pops up at 10 15 pm pacific time which means tomorrow i have a fun new
informative episode to listen to it's time to ask my i love it too it's time to ask my question is
it okay to call a group of girls guys when should we use gal then what's the difference between gals
and guys your loyal listener masood from iran wow such a great question yeah so first of all
it definitely depends on the situation right i will call a group of girls guys or a mixed group
guys in an informal situation it's usually not disrespectful to call both men and women
guys but it does depend very much on the situation who's present yeah i think it really depends on
the situation it is okay i think a lot of times if you're addressing just a you know a group
of fema adult women um also using ladies is nice it's a little bit more respectful
would you say that yeah for sure right yeah and you also see that more in certain industries like
the wedding industry right you see that a lot of like trying on bridal gowns oh ladies right
there's a lot of that i would say yes definitely i feel like um gals is very informal so for sure in
a more formal meeting or formal work situation i would instead say like everyone hi everyone let's
get started or yes maybe ladies and gentlemen she's quite formal but it's good if there's a
meeting or you're on a call where you haven't met everyone and there are both men and women present
that's appropriate yeah i think it's better when it's a more formal situation as you said get
away from gender kind of right that's what we're doing by saying everyone and ladies and gentlemen
don't point out the gender to address people right that's a good rule of thumb i think yeah for sure
and gal it is just the female equivalent of guy but it is less common to say gals right
when we're having an honors english meeting i'll say hey guys what's up i wouldn't say hello gals
right to me it sounds a little older when it is a little old-fashioned a little old-fashioned
or sometimes we'll say it sort of playfully right you'll hear a group addressed as guys
and gals in the west sometimes that'll happen in an informal situation like at a barbecue or
at a country dance something like that they'd be like all right guys and gals gonna go grab your
partner you'll for sure hear this in the movies too but sometimes there's sort of western themed
things i could for sure hear that there all right do we have any other vocabulary any other options
that you've heard women say when they're talking about just their female friends for sure like that
question you asked that at the beginning when's the last time you hung out with the gals right
it just means your girlfriends and i've heard the expression gal pal to just mean your female friend
right or my gals meeting my friends yeah and you've probably heard of galentine's day which
is when usually single girls are still celebrating valentine's day with their girlfriends yes i love
that term that's so fun i definitely celebrated a couple of galentine's days back in the day nice
yeah yeah so it's not like it's inappropriate to use it but it really depends on the context
you could it would be odd to use gal to call anyone a gal in most situations
so i would stay away from it unless you're talking about your very closest girlfriends yeah and i
think just to say you know this is a good place to put this in you know gender norms are changing
right people are a lot more flexible these days in terms of how they identify which is fantastic and
i love that our society has started is accepting that little by little right so being careful i'm
not sure if we're going to address the guys piece here a little bit later aubrey um but you know
being careful about just dressing people by their gender when maybe you don't know how they identify
right that's a key piece there yeah exactly and that is a little bit interesting right this
this question was a little more about gao but i think we dive into it here like when is it okay
to call a group guys right usually whether people are male or female or however they identify
in general when you say guys usually you're just meaning everyone you're not talking about gender
but it could be that people in that group don't want to be called guys and so we do have to be
sensitive to that yeah this is something that yeah i'm trying to like i'm trying to break the habit
around certain friends of mine who identify as non-binary and it's not easy it's really embedded
as a habit right and it even if you're trying to be very like just it just comes out of your
mouth hey guys uh do you guys want this do you want that right do you want soda or beer
right it just comes out of your mouth so we want to start to be a little bit more intentional
about what we're saying the words we're saying yeah right it's really
tricky so what would you in that situation what would you say instead because i do
yeah in my mind i think of guys as guys and girls i'm not you know maybe there's a better option
well and that's why i'm not i'm not sure if it's i don't i haven't directly asked them whether that's
offensive but i think that you know just by trying to make the effort a little bit more it probably
they appreciate it yeah i think i've heard them say like in a group like something like y'all
just using y'all but that feels like i'm from the south now right so i kind of love that though
y'all like we'll all go a little more southern in order to yeah or just say everyone hey everyone
hey everybody so i think gender is pretty loaded right i think that's the key point here
should we move on to the next question aubry yes right the second question is very related
i'll go ahead and read it it's from carlotta she said yesterday my husband came home from work
and told me what had happened at work he is a ceo in a multinational company and he had had
a meeting with two employees women one was older and one was younger and when they arrived in his
office he said to break the ice and start the meeting hey girls let's get started after the
meeting the young lady left and the the older one stayed and said i have to tell you it is very rude
to call a woman girl this is used for kids and is very disrespectful because we fought a lot against
male chauvinism in this company and then the question is was she just maybe in a bad mood or
is there sense in that and i can assure he had no meaning to be offensive there was no sarcasm in
his tone of voice thank you in advance girls oops help me so i love that she's kind of adding like
can i call you girls the other english team is that a pro funny that's such a good question we
do a lot of our listeners do say that and that's okay with me i'm not gonna i'm not gonna say that
i'm offended by that are you are you offended by that and you know when they write us questions
or listeners no definitely definitely not right many people will call us girls and we don't find
it offensive because here's why when i listen to many episodes of a podcast i feel like i know the
hosts yeah we share so many personal stories and example examples that you guys feel like you know
us you do you know us because we share so much about ourselves and when you know someone well
yeah who's fairly young it's appropriate to call them girls it's not offensive yes
exactly we want you guys to feel close to us that you know us so that's perfect but i also really
understand why in this context it was offensive and yeah the the guy the man may not have known
uh he may not have thought about it and probably didn't right it's not like he's trying but that is
how sexism happens right exactly under the surface right because girl does imply fairly young and can
be interpreted as meaning inexperienced yes so in the business world for colleagues it's really
evolving to not use this for women especially in formal situations like a meeting they clearly
were not close friends it's not the kind of relationship where that would be appropriate right
and this woman is not alone many women would not want many women would not want to be called girl
in that situation definitely so that makes total sense yeah i think she had every right to be upset
yeah and i like what you said earlier in the episode he could definitely instead say ladies
which is becoming more common and is considered more respectful if you just say hey ladies how's
it going today i feel like that's respectful yeah i mean i think in the social space not in
the business space you could say friends right hi friends um that's something i've heard recently
what else and yeah it just really depends on how formal the situation is i would say
for anyone out there working in the business world avoid calling women girls or a girl right
but there are times just like this this woman stated you can use girls to refer to children
or maybe a group of girlfriends i'll say i was hanging out with the girls just like i would
say the gals right yeah yeah yeah exactly and that's totally fine especially because you're
referring to your own friends that way right right it's that relationship where you know them well
you have there aren't these formal professional walls that have to be respected yeah i think the
problem with uh carlota's situation is is who said it and where it happened right exactly yeah and
what else aubry so let's make a note here that for a long time this phrase like a girl was an
insult right you're going to see this everywhere in tv and movies someone will say like with sports
you hit like a girl you run like a girl you fight like a girl or maybe like stop crying like a girl
it was used as an insult it's terrible we see it all the time luckily we're evolving away from this
yeah exactly because why is that an insult to be like a a woman right why is that an insult to
to be doing something right so it's gender norms are changing like i said just starting to define
people a little bit less by their gender which is refreshing you know it is refreshing and that
shouldn't imply weakness right doing something like a girl should imply being smart talented
confident right all the things girls should grow up knowing that they are and that they are capable
of that's what we want for the next generation so this really is a good change that's happening and
we need to continue to you know continue that change have you seen a league of their own i'm
sure you have right yes i love that show oh my god that's what i'm thinking about right now because
you know it was guys if you haven't seen it yet it's a great movie about baseball how when all
the guys were out at world war ii um they had the women come and take the men's places in a
national basketball baseball week it's just a fanta i mean madonna who else is in it rosie
and tom hanks says the coach it's so good i need to see it again and so there's a lot of
sexist references in there but it makes sense because the time period of course that's the
thing when you watch a show like that you have to there's some suspension of reality where you're
putting yourself in that historical era and recognizing unfortunately this is how it was
back then oh my gosh totally totally so guys go and rent that immediately it's a fantastic movie
it's so good all right um anything else our listeners need to know here aubry
yeah i think this is something that's worth i'm glad we brought this up it's worth
avoiding right avoiding these negative you know potentially offensive words it's really good to
be aware to be thoughtful and respectful whenever possible and so i'm grateful this episode i think
gives you guys a really good idea of why some of these words shouldn't be used depending on the
context yeah i love it i mean avoid the landmines right the key to connection is making people
feel accepted right getting away from always defining people by their gender and looking
for other things to connect with them on like who are they as a person right yes exactly right with
today's tips you can make sure you are speaking respectfully avoiding offending because that is
what can really disrupt that connection if you hurt someone's feelings or offend them yeah it's
an uphill battle to build that connection again you got it whether you're in business or whether
you're just in life or meeting new people in your community guys so keep that in mind and great
topic i'm glad we brought this up today aubry yeah me too thanks lindsay all right talk soon bye bye
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