Sometimes the teachers would say this
they'd say there's no such thing as a stupid question.
I liked it when they...
You know what I would do when they said that?
I would raise my hand.
"Yes, Mrs. Baxter is it possible
for a 12 year old boy to get
pregnant from reading comic books?"
No no.
OK I got some misinformation from my older brother.
[ laughter ]
College was different though. Professors, the college
Professors they never said it was, there was no such thing
as a stupid question. Know why? Because they knew
better than that. You don't get to be a college
professor and still hold the belief there's no such thing
as a stupid question.
So in college I need a different strategy, a different tactic
because I didn't want to study or do the assignments or
anything like that. So I'd come up with smart questions
that would make me sound smart to the teachers you know so when
they were giving the grades they might think, "Hey."
"Yes, Professor, after perusing the copious reading assignments
which you ungrudgingly designate as compulsory it has become
abundantly clear to me that the incipient and might
I say pandemic rise of quantitative easing in post
holographic arena spawns a situation and
In fact the conundrum, in which the widespread growth
of existential and even dystopian paradigms will
threaten to dominate the landscape
for the foreseeable future.
Having said that, how would you therefore postulate
a quid pro quo complexivication from a nihilistic
standpoint, and being broadly contemporaneous
would that postulation even be germane to the philosophical
dogma of the period?
And, secondly,
[ laughter ]
because this is really a two part question..."
[ laughter ]
Didn't like math. Math, math was my
least favorite subject. You like school?
You in school? You're in school now.
What's your name?
-Jonelle.
-Jonelle, what are you studying?
-Nursing.
I studied docting, doctoring.
What do they call it, medicine?
It was a lot. It's a lot. I dropped out after
two years of high school.
No I didn't like being a doctor I was a doctor for one day.
Everybody complains about everything and I'm just like,
I can't do this. Nah, I think I couldn't.
I don't like math. Math is my least favorite subject.
Actually it's like a five way
tie for my least favorite subject.
The thing about math was that you could try.
You could try, try to pay attention just look out the window for two minutes,
come back and your lost forever.
You might as well just look out the window again.
You're never going to get to get back on track.
It's not like you could say to the teacher,
"Yes, yes, could you repeat that?"
Yes because I was staring out the window."
I saw the birds fly and I was thinking, "Gosh what
if I could fly?
I would fly away that's for sure.
Fly away from you in your lesson.
Your stupid lesson."
[ laughter ]
I was OK with math until they got up to addition.
I was cool with counting.
Algebra, algebra 3,
That was the worst class ever, algebra 3.
I didn't actually take algebra 3
I took algebra 1, 3 times.
But, uh, that's addition.
I was wrong back in the day I would tell the teacher I'm never
going to use this algebra stuff and I always tell the teacher
I'm never gonna use this algebra but you don't use it very much
but once in a while I use algebra. Like a few months back
I was in the train station in Baltimore and train A was
going to be leaving the station at 5pm
traveling west at 80 miles per hour.
And train B was going to be leaving the station
3 hours later on a parallel track but going
a hundred miles per hour.
And winds are out of the Southeast at 18 miles per hour.
And there was a 30 percent chance of rain.
The Dow Jones had dropped 200 points that day.
The Nasdaq was up 40. I weighed 195 pounds.
My blood pressure was 122 over 60.
The Kansas City Chiefs had
a record of eight and two atop the leaderboard of the AFC West
and I had to figure out what train to get on.
[ laughter ]
Luckily, there's an app for that now.
[ laughter ]
It's called 'choo-choo'.
Chu-chu, C-H-U C-H-U.
Just get the free version, good enough.
Subscribe to Dry Bar Comedy
for even more of the world's largest collection of clean comedy!