my guest tonight starred in the
acclaimed netflix series orange is the
new black
she also created wrote and starred in
the emmy
award-winning russian doll and she's
just directed her first
netflix special sarah cooper
everything's fine please welcome the
very talented
and very busy natasha leona tasha how
are you
[Music]
i know the crowd's going nuts they're
going nuts for you
they're going nuts these people i mean
looks like you should be saying come on
down no one can beat our prices
nobody can beat our prices you gotta see
this special we've got the best prices
in town
i love the way you do zoom everyone else
is just like this
you bring energy to zoom the way it's
supposed to be
yeah you gotta get in there you know
what i mean and then
look at all the rings and you're
clutching your purse you do look like
you're waiting for a bus
you look like an you know what i mean
you're a lady waiting for a bus
my goal is to be a very hip very old
woman you know
i think i'm gonna age into something
between penny marshall
and jadarowski those are my goals
and i think i'm getting close closer
each day
you're doing great i also so many people
in this town are doing all this kind of
crazy stuff to pretend they're 25.
uh not you you're gonna go for it you're
gonna just go crazy eccentric old lady
someday
yeah someday i would say today you know
are you getting through this thing okay
i know you
are with i'm going to call him your
lover
fred armisen oh i wasn't sure which one
ah yes i'm kidding
how are you and fred doing uh because
this is a strain on couples
and you you know i've known fred a long
time
and um i love him he's a little
eccentric
how is is he tough to live with during
this time of quarantine
you know he's excellent at uh at things
like
quarantine because he's very organized
uh
yeah we're different uh i'm like uh
i'm like a bear um you know i really
like to
hibernate and then i like to do a lot of
activities
uh fred's more like a a white rabbit or
something
he um he's taken to wearing uh jumpsuits
he has like
jumpsuits and nine colors it's all it's
a onesie we got a picture
uh one of our producers tracked this
down this is a picture
of fred in a what looks to be uh
a scene from the movie chernobyl yes
it looks like he's coming out of the
reactor and saying
uh there's a problem this is what this
is the feeling i'm getting from this
picture is this the onesie one of the
onesies that he wears
no that's one of the onesies that's a
rust he also has
a cream a black a green a mustard
this is more of a uh we did your scan
and you're saying uh we have some bad
news for you
but i'm going to try and cheer you up
with this wave this is a medical kind of
onesie
this is a real cutie pie character this
guy i gotta tell you
you know i'm i'm uh concerned about
something which is i know that you
you told me a while ago i think the last
time i saw you that you were gonna quit
smoking this year
this is a tough year to quit smoking
they didn't pan out um you didn't quit
it's it's not the time i was reading a
few studies that said um
it actually it sort of protects your
lungs to smoke
um because you know from kovid because
uh i think it toughens them up no
so i i just thought that medically
it wasn't the best idea or the best time
oh this was that famous
marlborough study that just came out
well do you know what i mean i just um
trying to kind of you know that's why
you took up smoking
yeah like you i got all excited i
thought i got to toughen up my lungs
so i started chain smoking filter
unfiltered cigarettes from the 1930s
this is why robert mitchum's still alive
as we know okay
so he's a well-known survivor
and he's patient zero so
listen i mean these are obviously these
are uh
atrocious times and and you know it's
it's uh harrowing that we're all living
through this
as if it's uh reasonable uh you know
i actually think in many ways i've never
been happier um
you know there's things i don't miss i
don't miss uh i never was interested in
going to
a brunch with anyone or meeting somebody
for coffee
you're not a social person you're not a
very social person you
as you said you like to hibernate you
want to go into a
into a cave with a lot of salmon in your
belly and just sleep through the winter
right that's what i like uh but uh
but fred is more active and that keeps
me young could you have more rings on
right now would that be possible
is there room for more rings i'm gonna
level with you i
i rarely am out of anything other than
you know
t-shirts and panties okay so the idea
that i had an opportunity
to actually put on all of my rings
and that there's no need here for like a
a full length
you know what i mean that would give any
indication of
i'm really enjoying that everything is
just um
so surreal conan i really it does it for
me
tell me tell me what are the things
because you've told me a lot of what you
don't like
what are like the three things you like
to do during
you know what makes you happy if you
just had to boil it down to three things
uh smoking swimming
and zelda the uh the
the video game yeah i play that for
about i would say 12 hours a day
i mean in place of sleep because i'm a
busy person but
um yeah i've been you know uh
just periodically renting these you know
uh shitty houses uh
in the valley that are just you know
they're bad but they have a pool
uh and because like i'm a fred runs
around but i just moved from you know
the bed
to the balcony and you know to like
you know do conference calls and change
it's not a healthy lifestyle so i've
taken to
getting these uh you know weird places
and uh
i love to swim uh because you know my
joints are not great
and uh i like to get in the water move
around
obama quote like seven years ago where
he was like you gotta exercise 20
minutes a day and so i swim and i think
about obama
for 20 minutes and then you know i play
zelda for another seven hours
uh you know what it's so funny because
you are a young woman you're a young
vibrant woman
but you're coming across boobs
what i said only in the boobs
i got boobs for days i got boobs like i
i
i i'm telling you um but you you channel
this
you do channel this woman who's uh in
her 60s and has a zabar's bag
and is wearing 95 rings and a bunch of
cats that's who you be
that's somehow times your personality
even though you were this
this very young vibrant attractive woman
you it seems like you can't wait to be
an old crazy lady you just can't wait
you know and why should i i mean i don't
have to
i just feel like you know we make up
these rules you know
i think about uh a young gary oldman
playing sid vicious at the end of city
nancy
nancy singing my way and i think you
know uh
what's the problem here there is no
problem there's only solutions
so how did you get from how did you get
from
gary oldman playing sid vicious to there
are no problems how is there no
connection there
you know i can't get in here honey get
in here
okay i want to make sure we talk about
sarah cooper
everything's fine of course i'm so glad
that
that uh you are behind this project uh
directing this is very exciting because
she's obviously this phenomenal talent
she blew up online
i think people are very excited now that
she's got this uh this project
and it's so cool that you're you're
directing it
yeah i mean i think you know i have this
uh this great production company called
animal pictures
uh with uh with my rudolph uh
i think we sort of felt like what's the
thing to launch this thing and all of a
sudden you know when sarah hit
uh she just felt like the only thing
that was really resonating or connecting
with this moment as far as uh
a feeling of relief that encapsulated
the sort of uh
you know universal feeling of what the
hell is going on here that she was sort
of providing some sense of relief and
i think the uh goal of the special you
know we never really
um say trump's name in it i think more
so than sort of trying to to comment on
something obvious was uh trying to get
to the heart
of you know this kind of uh social
paranoia and the sort of doom-scrolling
sinking feeling that we all have kind of
in bed as you're slowly melting into it
wondering where this all ends and you
know trying to
you know tap into that through this kind
of
network patty chayefsky sort of as a gag
you know fred holds up a sign as her
producer that's uh
the actual sign from ilya kazan's face
in the crowd you know to show that the
ratings are up
thanks to talking about uh you know uh
sort of shitty politics and and i i just
really think we wanted to kind of
tap into the sort of the the way that we
all feel and sort of uh
sarah has done an extraordinary job of
providing some
relief and some sort of explanation to
this uh
absurdity i mean it is so effing weird
that we are you know that this has
become
some uh degree of normal somehow yeah no
i what i really appreciate
appreciate about what she's done is i
love silly comedy and she's able to be
very physical
and silly and use her abilities to make
you laugh
and at the same time acknowledge how
insane everything is right now
yeah i mean it's very very weird you
know and it's a
it's a real curiosity of you know uh i
mean obviously you know i jump but it's
like
you know uh what is what is jokes what
is time
what is a future what is making plans
you know
it's uh it's a very weird
moment that we're in and it's uh it's uh
very um
really like levels the playing ground
like we're in this collectively
and sort of have to either uh so anyway
you know uh jokes aside i mean i guess
that really is
when i say i'm relieved i i'm just
relieved to see that we're you know
we've
sort of stopped uh lying other than of
course the fake news aspect we've
sort of stopped lying a little bit as a
society which you know hopefully gets to
uh the heart of the truth
and maybe we can you know begin to build
a better world and so on
which is great because i have so many
children and i need to build a future
for them
well you know what i love whenever
you're using your hands in zoom
i feel better about our future so the
more
the kids conan and the kids i'm not even
listening to what you're saying anymore
i'm just seeing
this and i feel liberated and excited
because
you want a flat screen tv i'm going to
get you a flat screen tv just let me
know what kind of
camcorder you need and i'll get it for
you and you're saying that
no one can beat your prices that's i'm
very excited about that
thank you so much we have a clip here
from sarah cooper everything's fine
anything we need to know about this clip
before we show it
the duality the gravitas and the comedy
that comes with the one and only the
living legend that is
helen mirren and now for our top story
an exclusive look inside that now famous
access hollywood bus
and she used to be great she's still
three people i moved on her actually you
know she was down in palm beach i moved
on her and i failed
i'll admit it i did try and she was
married
huge nervous sarah oh no nancy no this
was
just and i moved on her very heavily in
fact i took her out furniture shopping
she wanted to get some furniture i said
i'll show you where they have some nice
furniture
i took off her and she i moved on her
like a
but i couldn't get there and she was
married and all of a sudden i see her
she's now got the big phony tits and
everything she's totally changed her
lips she's your girl's hottest
in the purple whoa whoa
yes
and we're back huh that was a great clip
thank you very much uh you know um i
think sarah really wanted to
uh uh do this one um you know because
it's the one and somehow you know it's
it's crazy that it was
so insane when we first heard it and uh
that it was not the thing that shut it
all down um and we're still here
uh you know i mean just as uh
as a woman it's uh pretty devastating to
uh realize that these are the things
that we're
uh okay with accepting yeah
yeah well um i do think
people say uh laughter is the best
medicine i
like many people disagree medicine's the
best medicine
well every viewing of this special also
comes with a
bottle of amoxicillin so you can
get it on both sides okay
sarah cooper everything's fine is now
streaming globally on netflix natasha
you are very talented
you're very busy you're always a delight
to talk to
it's not often i get to speak literally
to uh
a woman whose time traveled from 1935
with all that moxie and pep
and uh you always brighten my day so
thank you for doing this
always a joy conan thank you so much
right bye bye
all right see you later