wait
if you get on that plane now you'll
regret it for the rest of your life and
why is that is it because i'll be
leaving behind the man of my dreams
actually no it's because you forgot your
phone charger when it comes to battery
life no one wants to be caught unawares
here you go i cannot stand you in fact
whenever i see you i have to come over
just to tell you all the reasons why i
hate you and you know what i hate the
most
that you're so good good-looking ah if
you were ugly i would not be feeling all
these weird feelings
[Music]
[Applause]
i know you have a startling resemblance
to every other self-involved guy i've
ever been with but i have the sneaking
suspicion that you're the one who's
finally gonna heal me you and definitely
not my equally attractive childhood best
friend steve who i hang out with every
day and who has always been my shoulder
to cry on when all my relationships with
guys like you don't work out well that
about does it over this last year since
your fiance unexpectedly died i've
managed to fix your fridge your washer
your dryer your ceiling fan your
microwave your oven and your cat's
self-scooping litter box i guess the
only thing left to fix
is my heart
i was going to say your garbage disposal
i'm a handyman not a doctor
i can't believe how lucky i am to be
with you the fact that someone like you
would want to be with someone like me i
mean i'm just a responsible attractive
girl with a heart of gold running my
father's bed and breakfast all by myself
ever since he died suddenly a year ago
truly i do not deserve this love
congrats i'm so happy for you is what i
would say if i were a liar the truth is
that this warm and fuzzy ceremony is
just an act of mutual self-deception a
sharad to ignore the fact that we're all
lonely weak-minded hold up who is that
girl right there
of course a stable relationship could be
more financially advantageous than my
current situation in the long term
somehow i've gotten myself tangled up in
a love triangle paolo is a mysterious
introspective passionate rock star and
then you have
timmy
my co-worker uh on paper timmy is the
perfect guy for me i mean he has an
average number of personality traits he
contributes to a 401k he drives a honda
civic oh heck who am i kidding this is
an obvious choice paper beats rock every
time i need to know if you love me for
me or if you just love me for my
billions of dollars because if it's the
money
i totally understand that but if it's
for me
you might want to talk to my therapist
first ah dude i'm sorry i'm not gonna be
able to make it to your bachelor party
the the snow is just so bad here they're
closing down all the roads i'm gonna get
snowed in at the office here i don't
know could be could be days could be a
week but at least i can get some work
done you know what i mean
unfortunately karen from accounting also
had the same idea
oh crap uh karen i regret to inform you
that over the next few days we will have
nothing to do except talk to each other
drink hot cocoa in the break room
together and
possibly huddle together for warmth i
understand that falling in love with me
has shattered your reality and given you
a taste for the infinite but i can't be
your manic pixie dream girl i'm so much
bigger than some stereotype i contain
multitudes and those multitudes much to
the beat of their own drum gosh darn it
hey if you're not doing anything this
weekend would you like to come with me
to a dinner party i need a fake
boyfriend so my family doesn't think i'm
still single sure i could pose as your
fake boyfriend with no intention of ever
becoming your real boyfriend but why
does it matter so much because if i
don't have a date they'll try to set me
up with my mom's wealthy lawyer neighbor
i don't like him at all but i'm too
agreeable to start a conflict this
summer one ugly duckling defies all the
odds going from grotesque to drop dead
gorgeous but can she catch the eye of
her quarterback crush in time for the
sadie hawkins dance hold up grotesque
i i barely changed anything i look
basically the same all i did was put in
some contact lenses and stop wearing
that stupid hat that's it you know maybe
i don't want to go to the dance with
someone who was so easily deceived i
don't need you chadwick chattington on
the one hand i'd be a fool to turn down
a marriage proposal from the king but on
the other can i really leave behind my
self-indulgent lifestyle in the big city
and settle down in the quaint rural
country of omnivia i suppose it all
boils down to this would it be unqueenly
if i still want to hit up mardi gras i
understand you don't think this could
work out between us and i know you don't
think there's anyone out there who could
love a beautiful girl like you who has
been broken by tragedy
but what if i told you that's exactly my
type i know
that things haven't worked out between
us and that life is taking us in
separate directions right now but
what do you say if in 10 years we're
both still single
we meet on christmas morning at the top
of the empire state building let's do it
[Music]
you ever get the feeling you're
forgetting something
i i don't i don't know i don't know what
it is
hey guess what i've got a limited
edition ugly holiday sweater that you
can pick up for yourself and rep your
favorite youtube channel which is this
one as you can see it's got my face on
it visit the link down below or go to
infj dot me store thanks for watching
and supporting the channel