*Intro Music*
Welcome to The Kill Count where we tally up the victims in all our favorite horror movies.
Im James A. Janisse and today were looking at the sixth "Nightmare On Elm St" movie Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare released in 1991
And although we're not done covering Freddy Krueger just yet, in some ways this is the final nightmare
Its the last solo Freddy film to take place within the original continuity of the series
It also happens to be widely regarded as the bottom of the barrel for Mr. Kruegers escapades.
Freddy's dead completely drops Alice Johnson, and pretty much that entire tangled story-line that began back in "Dream Warriors."
In it's place we get an absurd plot about a ghost town Springwood and Fred Krueger's grown offspring
along with a couple of cameo's in the final 10 minutes that were filmed and released in 3D.
On top of all that, this is the film in which Freddy Krueger completes his transformation into a full blown looney toon.
It's really a movie that needs to be seen to be believed, so let's take a look at this mess and get to the kills!
DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNbambambambaam
The movie begins with a quote, so I guess we're bringing that back. Need ya, Huh?
Maybe this movie will actually be more high-brow then I- Ope, well hey, you know what? If they're gonna use a Freddy quote
I'm glad they picked the best one
Alright, ready for craziness?
Apparently in ten years the entire population of minors is wiped out of Springwood, Ohio. Except for one surviving teenager.
We can't even begin to get in to how absurd this premise is, so I'm sorry, you're just gonna have to think of that one on your own,
while we keep running on this insane idea.
The surviving teen is apparently this dude, known as John Doe the entire movie
and he's in the middle of a turbulent flight with some unsympathetic fellow passengers.
"I'm afraid of heights"
"Don't be a pussy"
Yo, you know what happens to rude people, lady?
They get sucked out of airplanes!
John screams that he was almost out of Springwood,
But everybody knows that almost doesn't count, and he drops out of the plane to plummet all the way back down into...
His bed. that he wakes up in.
Aw, shit. Of course that was just a dream.
And everything's normal now, right? Well, not quite.
As the theme to Wizard of Oz plays (no joke), he looks out the window to find his house falling to the ground,
and a laugh that sound like the wicky, wicky witch of the wild, wild west, that portends our first Freddy appearance of the film.
"I'LL GET YOU, MY PRETTY, AND YOUR LITTLE SOUL, TOO!"
*Freddy laughter*
*James' wtf laugh* Yeah.
The house lands on Elm Street, of course, and John tries to make his way out of Springwood again,
by going to a bus ticket booth, where Bob Shay laughs at how much money he's made with this franchise.
the bus drivers up and smacks intro him can you believe that bus is
driven by Freddie no screamin while the bus is in motion
wait didn't we already do bus driving Freddie back in part two Freddie drives
them to the Springwood border and Deportes him through reality or
something and in effect that I actually think is kind of cool despite the
cartoon cut out hole that John leaves behind looks like Fred can't leave
Springwood so he's hoping John Doe can go fetch him some more victims yeah good
luck convincing anyone to go to Ohio dude ha ha ha no Bloo maybe he'll have
some luck at this super sketchy looking youth shelter wait didn't we pretty much
do that in dream warriors what the fuck might as well meet the staff and
patients here I guess our leading lady for these 90 minutes of garbage is dr.
Maggie burrows played by Billy Zane sister Lisa and she's currently dealing
with patient Spencer a young Breckin Meyer who loves video games and hates
his dad so you can look forward to both those characteristics being involved in
his kill Maggie's boss is the a fat Cotto with a jheri curl whose character
is only known as jaw and I'm actually shocked that Freddie doesn't ask him
what's up and all in this entire movie he's real into dream shit which is why
he has a poster in his office of quote ancient
demons who would search people's dreams for the most evil person they could find
they give them the power to cross the line and turn our nightmares into
reality I don't like where this is going other patients include Tracy a tough
kickboxing lady who don't take no shit and Carlos a deaf dude with a hearing
aid that he sometimes removes to tune out from everyone else they and Spencer
applauding to get the shelter van driver to smuggle them away to California so
they can blow this pop stand some cops find John Doe on the street and take him
to the shelter where Maggie questions him about his background way from I
don't know besides having a hard time controlling the volume of his voice and
apparently having anger issues with pieces of furniture he also knows he
doesn't want to fall asleep cuz he might never wake up Maggie finds a newspaper
clipping in his pants featuring a picture that really jumps off the page
I won't tell she would dream slash flashback where a little girl runs
around a backyard with her unseen father but the most revealing thing we get is a
woman screaming before Maggie wakes up and it ends John ends up falling asleep
too and wakes up in a dream where that same little girl leads him through the
Elm Street house while his real-life body sleep walks up a keyed out
staircase wonder if you'll find any clunky metaphors in this dream oh yeah
looks like you did he tells Maggie about his dream and after she realizes it
featured the same little girl that hers did Yaphet Kotto tells her to help John
Doe remember where he came from and so we get a road trip in this nasty looking
van that the mr. et might drive if Scooby and the gang suddenly came down
with a mean addiction to crystal meth they drive to Springwood a nice place to
live but after John hallucinates the Little Dream girl in the road and spins
the van house controlled to avoid ER they find that the other troubled teens
have been stowed away in the back of the van I guess hiding behind those
paper-thin sheets they carry on to Springwood where there's a fair going on
straight out of a Steinbeck novel there's only adults there and they're
all cursing at the kids telling them to go on and get maybe because they're
worried they'll take their spot in line for the bumper cars the phones there
don't work but the Cameo sure do because Roseanne fucking bar walks up to the
kids it starts rubbing cheeks with them and asking if they'll come home with her
and hey have another cameo with Roseanne's then husband Tom Arnold
chewing the scenery like it's a can of skull you know they bring him Maggie
sends the trio of teens off in the band to return to the shelter while she heads
off with John Doe to explore the town too bad they shot this on the same part
of the universal Bop that would eventually become Wisteria Lane in
Desperate Housewives cuz holy shit bring what looks fake as
hell in this movie even when they're driving down real streets for some
reason it just doesn't feel real they wind up getting stuck in a dream loop
where they keep driving around the same town square and through the same
intersection a whole bunch of times at shit man we just did that tricking
nightmare for I guess it's not plagiarism if you're stealing from
yourself when they try to find themselves out of this jam with a map it
quickly turns into a fire hazard that's also pretty profane I asked you for the
map yeah well the map says we're fucked
Maggie and Jon's adventure takes them past some derivative chalk art and into
spring wood hi where a teacher instructs an empty class and away too over the top
Manor 1,493 Freddie see he emphasizes that in 1966 they took away Freddie's
child wait a minute hold on what's that about Hiroshima and Nagasaki pretty had
a kid yeah yeah but like that chalkboard clearly says the atomic bomb drops fail
is that what the fuck the trio of trouble finally get tired of driving
around in circles and Tracy says that she's going to get some rest
in an abandoned house yeah that's your plan just kick down the door to a dirty
stranger's house oh and look you really seem to injure it there with that kick
wait a minute hold off is that yo that's not just a random house that's the Elm
Street house again it's everybody's favorite character hell yeah and the
audience goes wild Carlos goes off on his own to get some
sleep on the mattress version of that Pigpen kid from Charlie Brown hope
you're scratchin fingers are prepped and ready to you cuz you about to be covered
in bedbugs when he wakes up he's in dreamland and finds himself trapped
against a brick wall with his angry mama abusing him for being a bad sauce she
takes out a very threatening cotton swab and then turns into Freddy Krueger who
sticks the swab into Carlos's ear and threw his head in one of the grossest
moments of the series also shouldn't that just kill him he's got like a thing
going through his brain he should definitely be dead but no we're gonna
drag this one out first Freddy cuts off Carlos's ear which defens him and gives
the audience some point of view hearing which in this case means a heartbeat and
heavy breathing as Freddy tosses Carlos into a boiler room setting where he can
be a lot more comfortable once they're in there Freddy's a world-class douche -
Carlos by dancing around behind him and making a lot of noise he can't hear even
breaks the fourth wall to tell the audience dish
he eventually appears to relent and gives Carlos a hearing aid but that
thing starts deforming and bugging out and leaves Carlos with super hearing so
powerful that a leaky faucet sounds like a beating drum doing like any good
improviser Freddy explores and heightens the game first he drops a single pin
that sounds like a falling bomb on its way down but Carlos is able to catch it
and save himself the hearing damage then Freddy drops a whole handful of pins
that sound like a hurricane of hammers against the metal grated floor finally
he takes the chalkboard and with some expert mime acting starts scratching the
board first with a single finger knife and then with his whole ham like
scratching the belly of a big old good dog this ultimately causes Carlos's head
to explode sending the hearing aid back into Freddie's hand as he delivers a
one-liner with kind of a Yoda boys going on not hearing from you Carlos now
here's some shit that breaks the Elm Street rules Carlos's body is just
missing when Tracy goes to check on it then the screenwriters make the real
narc mistake of treating weed like a hardcore hallucinogen since Spencer's
lying on the couch washing a broken TV and thinking it's actually on Carlos
appears on screen and tells them not to fall asleep but it's too late that can
fade and I don't know which storyline I hate more but we switch it up back to
Maggie and John as they go to the Springwood orphanage they find another
loony adult talking to invisible children as well as a picture signed by
Kade Krueger who John Doe is convinced must be him he figures he's got to be
Freddy's kids since he's the only one left a lot as Maggie tries to tell him
that's a stupid idea Tracy pulls up in the band to take them
back with her to that dirty house they're squatting in Spencer wakes up to
a Johnny Depp cameo where he parodies the famous brain on drugs commercial but
then Freddie's like gonna hit you in the head with a frying pan and tell Spencer
that's time to trip out man so in-a-gadda-da-vida starts playing
while a sunday-school special version of some psychedelic scenery emerges from
the TV screen to wrap around spencer and pull him into the tube dude he just
smoked a joint he didn't drop Syd but accurate psychoactive effects are nah
he's gone when the others get back to the house and then we get what might be
the lowest moment of the entire nightmare series Spencer finds himself
in the middle of a Nick arcade looking video game while Freddy controls him
with a joystick the game includes an 8-bit version of Spencer's dad but those
game designers could learn a lot about the art of subtlety like me in fact this
scene has a whole bunch of god-awful lines so let's just get them all out
right now now Freddy nothing about this is great especially super Spencer super
Spencer socks then Spencer's body gets launched through a wall into the real
world and we have to watch it like this and this and hear these sound effects
John gets the idea to save Spencer in his dream so he has Tracy knock him out
with a pipe and he disappears into a table which like that doesn't make sense
and Tracy joins him saying she was able to get there just by concentration
meditation cuz we might as well just throw all the rules out the window at
this boy Tracy and John sneak up on Freddy like there are a couple of kid
detectives and she kicks the controller out of Fred's hand he's got a little
backup for just this occasion you forgot the power glove he uses the
power glove to bob Spencer in the head and drop him down the stairs towards the
oh shit the rectum tunnels back yep and after Spencer falls down it it farts out
his soul or something which goes straight back into Freddy Oh No Tracy
gives Freddy a kicking Nats before Maggie wakes her up out of
the dream saving her from Freddy's finger knifes wife but since John is
still asleep they have to carry him out into the van when they make their escape
but during his dream state he wakes up to find himself in a burning bedroom and
when he launches himself out the window he's back to falling down to earth like
he was in the beginning he pulls a cord that turns his shirt into a parachute
who perish sure and also Yanks his real life body through the roof of the van
John looks up to find Freddy spinning around the top of the parachute before
he comes down to confront John face-to-face with some harsh truths he
says John isn't in fact his son and that he allowed John to live only long enough
to bring me back my daughter with John useless to him now he yells grounded and
cuts the strap to the harness leaving John to fall towards the ground and a
bed of nails that Freddy pushes into the road like he's goddamn Wiley Krueger we
see the wounds appear in John's real-life body which makes sense and
then his corpse disappears from reality which does not and after his soul fart
goes into Freddy's body Gerdes appears to with a joke that I
honestly just don't understand it's travelling time is that a play on words
or something is travelling time a thing where's Freddy just spitting outward
poop at this point he traveled times right into Maggie's Jo and after some
weird face stuff she gets in the van so she and Tracy can drive out of
Springwood shattering that plate glass of reality while they do it
what is up with that thing back at the shelter Maggie's fellow social worker
doesn't remember anyone by the name of Spencer or Carlos or the new arrival
John Doe so what Freddy's erasing his victims
from other people's memories come on but yeah if the koto is immune apparently
and says he can remember that why because I can control my dreams
sure Maggie finds some papers saying she was adopted and that night in another
dream of hers we get more of the Krueger backstory shaded in as
that Maggie not John Doe is Freddie child all grown up and the woman
screaming in her earlier dream was her mom Loretta coming out of the cellar and
telling Freddie that she won't tell anyone about whatever she found down
there as little baby Maggie learns it's the back room with a whole bunch of
finger knife gloves of various designs and Springwood /or newspaper clippings
as well as some shit suggesting Freddie killed the kids in his own house what
about part twos bitch and boiler room as dumb as that is it's not as dumb as the
fact that nobody took that lock of hair out of this girl's eye before they shot
this or even worse how Maggie suddenly shows up dressed in the little girls
outfit complete with pigtails I get what they're going for here but
honestly it just looks like she's about to go give a striptease to some rich
businessman with some real specific King Freddie shows up and calls her Katherine
and confirms that when the authorities took her away from him he got revenge by
killing their kids oh wait wasn't him killing kids the
reason they took her away from him his logics running in circles man Freddie
scares Maggie by saying he's going after the shelter now she says he can because
this isn't spring wood but likeness I've gonna rule this whole time or is it just
another thing they're coming up without him nowhere for this movie regardless
his loophole is to sprout an elm street sign and from the building cop this is a
fucking dog first Fred he goes after Tracy and her dream by appearing as her
father who it's heavily implied sexually abused her so that sucks she takes her
revenge on her dream dad with a teakettle just beat the shit out of with
it but then he sits back up with a messed-up face and turns into Freddy
Freddy takes a few hits from Tracy and lazily says a one-liner this bitch come
on Fred I feel like your heart's not even in today she escapes his worrying
finger knife blades by burning herself on a stove and waking up out of the
dream with this Tracy attack foiled Krueger moves on to Yaphet Kotto but
after appearing in his dream doc just beats that bitch with a bat Fred's not
perturbed though since he just reenacts an ogee nightmare scene while counting
off the ways people have tried to kill him he says that he's never been killed
permanently because they promised him that he'd be eternal to me
the dream people the once again leaders cha yappa snags a piece of dad sweater
before an alarm system wakes him up right as Maggie and Tracy rush into his
room I think I've got a way to get him so
what's the plan doc wait what the fuck was that babe who the fuck is running
this movie yep it says that if the sweater can come out of the dreams and
so can Freddy and that they can hurt him in the real world wait a fucking minute
Nancy did this shit five movies ago good lord Freddy's dead you have zero reason
to exist yeah if it gives Maggie a pair of 3d glasses because yes the last
man says this movie were 3d and she goes to sleep on the couch waking up in a
dream version of the same room and putting on the glasses to activate
Freddy vision whoa look at that hand see frying pan infomercial this is what your
brain is like on drugs she hops in the docs poster and walks past the Jim
Henson dream demons into Freddy stupid face look it's stupid so I guess we're
inside his brain now as The Wizard of Oz music plays again and the dream demons
take the form of lost souls from Duke getting all up in the audience's face
and 3d traveling through Freddy's memories Maggie finds herself in a
school classroom and watches as Kid Freddy takes a hammer and smashes the
class hamster with it robot chicken cut takes Maggie to another time where she
witnesses teenage Freddy getting in trouble with his stepdad Alice Cooper
Cooper beats on Freddy with the bells even though like how you about to hit a
dude who looks that much like Kenneth from 30 rock but Fred just stands there
and takes it and eventually sticks his razor out to kill his foster dad this is
always see of it which is real dumb I know but that's actually a confirmed
kill so I'm adding it to the cow deal with it another Robot Chicken cut puts
Maggie at the scene of Freddy's original mortal death where we witness exactly
what happened as he burned to death inside that building
we know who okay so that was the day he became Freddy Krueger as my girlfriend
Chelsea said during the scene one final Robot Chicken cut puts Maggie back in
the Elm Street basement where she watches her younger self run outside to
find dad dad strangling my ma to death oh yeah Freddie murdered his wife with
his bare hands in reaction to her finding his secret stash of dead kid
stuff Maggie's mad about Fred killing her mom
so she hits him with a pipe and grabs onto it which doc and Tracy sees so they
pull her out of her dream but Maggie wakes up on the couch by herself they go
the little armory they have in the basement of stuff apparently confiscated
from Spencer and other kids Jesus he all had negan in that youth shelter egg he
finds a make up list Freddy Krueger crying on the basement floor whining
about how he's not so bad a guy honest Maggie doesn't buy it and hits him with
the bat that knocks his glove off to fly the audience whoa look out 3d holy shit
but now Freddy's back into his old burnt face appearance and he starts strangling
Maggie to death because like mother like daughter she fights back hitting him
with his glove and biting out his face a bit before breaking some of his fingers
and Maggie pins Freddy to the wall with an assortment of weapons including
knives ricans and a freaking crossbow she saves the best for last putting on
Freddie's finger knife glove and stabbing him a few times in the gut with
weight oh sorry she's not done yet he saves the second best for last
by sticking a pipe bomb into store so and she tells him happy Father's Day and
gives him a smooch before running away to safety Freddie's death is preceded by
a joke of course bitch and then he blows them up and his head vomits another his
head which explodes into the little dream demon things women around the air
like nasty hell sperm dear Lord this reveal is just as bad as Jason soul
being a nasty slug thing and goes to hell
Maggie's Freddy vision glasses reappear and Yaphet Kotto takes them off for a
Maggie can you guess what movie I hope I never have to watch again Freddy's dead
that is correct Freddy's dead and so is my enjoyment of
these movies let's get this shit over with and head to the numbers what
happened to you Freddy used to be cool
six people died in Freddy's dead including two people in flashbacks and
of course Freddy Krueger himself all in all the victims included five men and
one woman the most imbalance gender ratio of the entire series with a
runtime of 89 minutes that comes out to a kill on average every fourteen point
eight three minutes I'll get the golden chainsaw for coolest
kill - Carlos if the chalkboard thing was the only silly looney tunes gag in
this movie I'd actually be okay with it plus it's an exploding hat that's always
fun go machete for lame his kill will go to Spencer I know there was an
off-screen death but even that's not as lame as all the stupid sound effects
that were part of Spencer's drawn-out video game murder which ultimately it
was just him falling down a hole and that's it Freddy's dead the final
nightmare came out in 1991 and is a giant pile of steaming shit but we're
not done yet next week we get meadow with Wes Craven's new nightmare and
until then I'm James de genève this has been the kill count thanks a lot for
watching my kill count for Freddie's death I want to thank a couple of my
patrons like Gabriel Bain and Ryan a via a couple more weeks left of Freddie and
then we get a new franchise the big hint is that it's starting in March also I
just had a viewers pole for a kill count in March and looks like Belko
experiments gonna win so you have that to look forward to during a Monday in
March every Friday this year is gonna be a franchise alright y'all be good people