-Everybody, Madonna is here! Madonna!
[ Cheers and applause ]
I was trying to think of a question to ask you
that's never been asked.
-Good luck. -I know.
How about this one? Ready for this?
-Yeah.
-This might be the best question I've ever asked.
-Okay.
-Has any review of anything
you've done gotten it right?
Is that a good question? -I mean, occasionally.
It's rare. -So they don't, really.
-In the 40 years that I've been doing what I've been doing --
-40 years? -40 years. Can you believe it?
-No. That's insane. -It is. Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Do you know who you are? Do you even know who you are?
You are Madonna. Oh, my God.
-I still don't even know who I am.
-Yeah, you really are unbelievable.
I mean, the first single was what? "Everybody?"
-Mm-hmm.
-And do you remember anything about that?
Like, what would you do to -- Do you remember
hearing yourself on the radio, and going, "Wow"?
-I remember I was living on the Upper West Side,
on 99th and Riverside Drive, and was just broke
and wondering if things were ever going to work out for me.
And I had signed my record deal.
And I was told that they were going to start
playing my song on the radio, "Everybody."
-Yeah.
-And then, suddenly, my roommate had her radio on
down the hall, and I heard it drifting down the hallway.
And I was like, "Wait, what is that?
What is that?"
And I ran down the hall, and she's like,
"They're playing your song on the radio.
And I just stood there like, "Wow!
It happened. It works."
It was like magic. -Yeah.
-It was the most amazing moment.
-Is this going to be in this -- I heard there's a rumor that --
-A visual autobiography?
-Yes, of course. -Don't call it a biopic.
-But, yeah, -- I would never call it a biopic.
-How dare you? -No, how dare you?
I think it's cool. Once again, no one's done this.
-Well, the reason I'm doing it is because a bunch of people
have tried to write movies about me, but they're always men.
Ugh!
-Wait. What do you mean? What are you talking about?
[ Cheers and applause ] No.
Men are good.
Some men. -Some men are good.
-Yeah.
-Men -- "Good men" is pretty much an oxymoron, but --
-Oh, my gosh. -Anyways...
No, because people were writing --
I read Universal was doing a --
Like, they sent me the script because they wanted my blessing.
And I read it, and it was the most hideous,
superficial crap I ever read.
And then I found out that some -- I found out --
I'm not even going to say his name,
but he's a total misogynist -- was directing.
And I'm thinking, "Why would these people
make a movie about my life?"
There's nothing true in the script.
The guy who is making it has no understanding of women,
no appreciation of women, no respect for women.
So, like, this happened a couple of times,
and I had to, like, call people up,
call up the heads of studios,
call up my agents and threaten them
and say that I will, like, stand in front of the building
and make -- and protest and make everybody's life
a misery if they go through with it.
And they still did not take me seriously.
-So, finally, I just threw down the gauntlet.
Have you ever thrown down the gauntlet?
-I've thought about it.
-Therein lies the rub.
You have to throw down the gauntlet.
-"Therein lies the rub." Yeah, I did.
-You have to do this. You have to do this.
-Oh, look at this.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Okay? Never mind. I'll pick it up myself.
-Yeah, exactly. "I'll pick it up myself."
-Because that's what you've got to do in life.
You've got to pick it up yourself.
Anyways, no, I just said, "You know what?
There's nobody on this planet that can write or direct
and make a movie about me better than me."
And that is just the truth.
[ Cheers and applause ] -I agree.
I love that you're doing that.
And, honestly, no one has -- -
-Keep talking while I undo my glove.
-Yeah, no problem. Yeah. -Say interesting things, please.
-I have an interesting thing to say.
These are myths and rumors about you,
and I want to know if some things
are true and some things are false.
Do you mind me going through these and you tell me?
-Go ahead. -Well, do I believe you?
Will you tell me the truth?
[ Laughs ]
Honestly, I can't even tell you how nervous I feel right now.
You just -- You do -- You make me so -- you make me so --
-♪ Good inside ♪
-Yeah, you really do.
Okay. -Come on, you guys. Like a...
-♪ Virgin ♪
-Oh, my God. -♪ Touched for the... ♪
-♪ Very first time ♪
-♪ Like a...♪ -♪ Virgin ♪
-♪ When your heart beats ♪
♪ Next to mine ♪
-Come on, now. That's what -- Look at this.
[ Cheers and applause ] An impromptu...
That's what I'm talking about.
Alright. Wait, wait, wait! -Trying to get my --
-Alright, ready?
These are myths and rumors about you,
and it may or may not be true.
Your first job was at Dunkin' Donuts
and you were fired.
-Yeah.
It was one of the first jobs I had working
when I moved to Manhattan.
And I did get fired because I was
playing with the jelly squirter.
[ Laughter ]
-Okay, alright.
-Have you ever seen a jelly squirter?
-No, no, no, I haven't. Alright, here we go.
Alright. ♪♪
No, stop, stop, stop. Okay, here we go.
Just stop, stop, stop. Alright, here we go.
-It's funny how everything is a sexual innuendo.
-It really is. How about this?
"Vogue" was originally only going to be a B-side
because it wasn't considered strong enough
to be released as a single.
-Yeah, it's true. -What?
But "Vogue" is the biggest song ever.
It was the B-side? What was the A-side?
-Well, there's a lot of unenlightened people
in the world.
-Yeah. -They can't see into the future.
-Did you write "Jimmy Jimmy" thinking of me?
-Nope. -Okay.
-Here's a myth or a rumor.
You turned down the role of Catwoman
in the film "Batman Returns,"
and the lead in "Showgirls" you turned down.
Did you ever see those movies? And what did you think of them?
-I saw them both.
And I was -- I regret that I turned down Catwoman.
That was pretty fierce. -Oh, really?
-"Showgirls," no.
But I also turned down the role in "The Matrix."
Can you believe that? -You did?
-I wanted to kill myself. -Oh, stop it. You're Madonna.
-That's like one the best movies ever made.
-You don't regret anything. Look at you.
-A teeny, tiny part of me regrets
that just one moment in my life.
-Madonna, are...
Wow. You're unbelievable.
Why? Why?
But why are you such a troublemaker?
Why? Just stop. -Because.
Because artists are just here to disturb the peace.
-Just stop. Just be good.
-Okay, okay. I'm sorry. -Behave!
-I will. -Please behave!
-Okay!
-Madonna, I can't even tell you -- I really do mean this.
I'm just -- I love you, and I'm honored to have you here.
And I just love you. You're one in a million.
You're the best. [ Cheers and applause ]
Madonna, "Madame X" is available on Paramount+ tomorrow.