- I can pinpoint the time that I knew we were
gonna be friends forever.
- Really? - Yeah.
It was when I was dating ____ and you
I mean you and I didn't talk for a few months
'cause he sort of like, isolated me from you.
- Yeah.
- And then he left for the military.
And even though you and I hadn't talked too much,
you came and got me that night.
And took me out a drive.
- Yeah, we just talked. Drives are the best.
-We've gone on a lot of drives.
- You remember when we parked at that farm
the summer before college and
we thought you
were leaving for college?
- Oh it was the worst time of my life.
- And we had this huge conversation about
like, we might not be friends after you
leave for college.
- Yeah, I stole my dad's Cadillac that night
and we where like sitting on the hood.
- Looking at the stars - Yeah, I do remember that.
That was wild.
Do you remember saying even if we're not friends,
we'll try and find each other again, even if
we drift apart.
- Like telling our future kids about us kind of thing?
- Yeah.
Was it ever a question that we wouldn't be friends anymore?
Or like a question that we were gonna go in
separate directions?
- Yeah, I think so. - Okay.
- I think there have been a couple times in our friendship
that I thought you would outgrow me, and like,
go home, make other friends.
- I feel like I thought that too.
Especially you were always in honors classes
and I was in like, a bunch of squad activities—
- I didn't like any of those people.
- I mean, but still... they where...
They felt superior.
You know what I mean?
Cause it's like, the type of children where
they're just like constantly trained, college is,
your prime, you know, and I never expected
to go to college.
My parents never went to college.
My dad just got his GED after he graduated.
Sorry, retired.
- Yeah, I know. - Yeah.
- I feel really proud.
- At like sixty two. I'm proud of him too,
but I mean, if you didn't go to college,
and this is just like, my whole life outside
of any friendships.
If you didn't go to college, I wouldn't have been
encouraged to go to college, and if I didn't,
I don't think anybody else
in my family would have.
And now every person is in college.
And it's just like a big change, you know?
And your dad has always been kind
of like a different dad like an uncle.
- Yeah. - Like...
- Yeah, even when we wouldn't talk for a while
dad would ask about you.
-Yeah. Same.
- That's funny that you saw it on some kind of,
like, honor student level,
because I saw it on like, a social level.
Like, I always thought you were cooler than me.
And that you were gonna go find like,
mostly to when we were eighteen
'cause you were down in college,
and I thought you're gonna have like all these cool
college friends.
And we talked about like, FaceTiming...
Do you remember?
You had to take that stupid alcohol safety course
before you started?
- Yeah - and we like practiced
- like FaceTiming each other...
- Yeah, so weird. - while you were doing it
- So yeah, there have been times.
I think now. No, because I think at this point,
even if we don't talk for a minute, or you have like,
other friends, I still gonna come back here.
- That's true. You're totally right.
I didn't even think I was gonna live this long.
So I never thought I was gonna outgrow you
- Damn girl, okay.
- Every teenager thinks like eighteen's it,
like okay, I'm ready.
- Why am I important?
- Oh lord, why are you important?
Alright, so I think of this in two different ways.
like, why are you important to me
and why are you important to the world?
- Oh, okay.
- So I’m gonna...
You're important to me because
I feel so comfortable and so completely myself
when we're hanging out and talking.
- Yeah - And going on drives
I can just say anything that I'm feeling
or going through
and you were like that comfort, you know?
I think you're important to the world
because I think...
you are very...
very motivated
and very inspirational to people
to look up to you
and I also think you're just this really like
bright and friendly spot.
What's a pain in me you wish you could heal?
- Oh, your mom.
Your mom made such a scar and it's just like
everybody is a canvas
and you like paint on the canvas
And I feel like you and I have painted a lot
of each other's canvases together.
And I feel like she's just slashed black across it
you know, but we're still adding to it,
you're still adding to it
and you've got a lot of other people adding to it.
But I just wish that we could cover it.
You know, just one of those things.
Nothing's gonna cover black.
It is what it is, but we can work around it.
- That was really cute.
- I like that. - Thank you.
- All right...
- Oh, what do you think I'm hesitant to tell you?
- I think you're probably hesitant to tell me
if you disagree with me about something.
Like something I've done,
because you don't want to make me mad.
I hope and I think that it's gotten a lot better
as we've gotten older.
- Oh, yeah. - But I feel like...
- You used to get upset or worried about upsetting me
or about offending me.
- Oh yeah! Definitely.
- So like, when you were going
and meeting those people,
like some parts of it you didn't tell me until later.
Because you were worried.
I hate thinking that you were worried about me
judging you.
But I think it was just part of...
growing up.
- Yeah, it was more like the disappointment.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- And some things were hard to communicate.
You know, even... even now, shit,
I have to think twice about a week
- Oh, sorry! - We are allowed
- I had to think twice about what I say
or how I say it more or less.
- You worry a lot about how you say things.
- Well, I never want to be the angry black lady,
which I've talked to you years about that.
- I know,
sometimes you'll send me a text and you're like,
"Does this sound mean?"
- Yeah, am I being... - Like how to appropriate...
- Which is, that's hard.
I know I always struggle with that.
Thanks for helping me with that.
- Anytime, Boo.
- Jeez! Glad you went to psychology courses.
- What was the biggest challenge together?
And how did we overcome it?
- High school, for sure.
Because there were so many ups and downs.
It's such, such generic answer.
But seriously, if you think about the first year
that we were there
in and out of drama club,
and we were like having the time of our lives,
but still like, voices were changing,
people were for some reason super sexual.
And like, that was weird,
morphing into adults, basically.
Like our last year,
we were just ready to go out, meet boys, drink,
have fun.
And I didn't even think twice about that during
freshman year.
We were such heavy Christians do you remeber?
And then by the end, like senior year,
we were like, yeah, no, no, thank you.
I think one of the most challenging times in
our friendship
was your relationship with ____ .
And not to make it super serious,
but it was so hard to see you do something that
I completely disagreed with,
and like worried about you all the time.
But knew that I couldn't push too hard
about telling you not to do it.
- Or I'd be like - Just gone.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Lose you completely.
- Which that's such a scary part of life
even with our other friends like
and I know that you've seen it
and we've talked about a lot of things like that,
but it's such a...
Such a gray area to be in.
You don't know which way you're going to lean
with them or which way they're going to lean.
Like you don't wanna push your sister
not to get married, because
you don't want her to leave,
- You know things like that. - Yeah.
And I already said you're most comfortable
conversation with anybody in my life
and it's been like that for 20 years.
So I just would hate for something to happen.
And, gosh, I can't even imagine something
that'd be serious enough to actually
end our friendship.
- Right!
- Doubt it, doubt anything like that
- is gonna happen. - Not at this point.
- Yeah, just....
If this were to be our last conversation,
what's one thing you never want me to forget?
- Ah, fuck.
- I know. That's hard, a lot of things.
- I really don't like this question,
because the first thing I'm thinking of is ____ .
-Oh, yeah.
- And I have no idea what
my last conversation with ____ was.
I would never want...
to wake up middle
of the night to a phone call that you were gone.
Like with him.
- Yeah.
- And then have to think really hard about like,
“What did I say? What did I do?”
“Is it my fault?”
- Yeah, cause like,
I think the last thing he messaged me
was like, "Can you hang out?"
And I like didn't answer.
Of course, I mean, it was like weeks before
he did anything,
but so.
So, I really don't.
I don't like that question.
what is something I wouldn't want you to forget
if this is the last time we talked?
That I love you, that you have a wild spirit
and you shouldn't ever have to tame it down
for people who can't handle it
or for fear of fitting an angry black woman
stereotype.
- Well, thank you.
And I'm gonna answer this too.
- Go ahead, babe.
- If this was our last conversation,
I think I would need you
to know that you're way more unique
than you think.
And I think the same thing like
I don't ever want you to fit into any box
because I think we're pretty different than a lot
of people as far as not only our opinions,
but our ability to listen to other opinions.
Especially in the world today, nobody wants to listen,
they're just hearing your words to retaliate
and like, you hear them,
you hear them, you process them,
and you just converse, it's not necessarily
a fight.
And that's not easy, I guess.
And you've taught me how to do that.
- So, thank you.
- How do you love me?
- Oh jeez.
So, I think we just had a conversation about this
how there are romantic relationships.
And then there are like relationships
that you'd have like with your partner,
you know, and they're not necessarily
the same thing.
So I would say...
that our relationship is more...
like...
I would say it's even deeper than sisters,
you know, because you and your sister still fight
sometimes, and you’re friends but you're not like
close, this close.
You know what I mean?
I love you like one of those entities
that's been fucking dancing around me
for multiple, multiple lifetimes by now.
- How do you love me? No pressure.
- Yeah, you said that. Uhm...
I think there are friendships...
that can be like soulmates
I would say that you are my soulmate,
probably before I would say ____
was my soulmate.
Because it just feels more like home
feels more comfortable.
Feels more like I don't have to explain anything
I'm thinking because you just already know.
- Yeah, just a look.
- But as far as how I love you,
I think I love you by letting you
be yourself and not trying to change you.
-Oh, I love you so much. -I love you too.