All right.
We are back with Chelsea Handler,
who, after a year of therapy, is perfect.
So she will give advice to members of my audience.
So Katie Helm.
Where is Katie Helm?
Hi.
[APPLAUSE]
Hi, Ellen.
Hi, Chelsea.
My name is Katie.
I just turned 28 last week.
And I have never been kissed.
Now, I don't want to go up on stage and kiss
a bunch of random strangers or anything.
Not my style.
But where is a Midwest girl supposed
to meet a decent gentleman in the world?
I think you have to go out with a group of girlfriends
so you have protection like with them.
And just go up to-- if you go to a bar
or like a fun restaurant or something like a little bit
tamer than-- no, a bar is fine.
Go to a bar.
And just go around and ask guys.
Have your girlfriend say, hey, she's never been kissed.
Can we just get her first kiss out of the way?
I mean, there's going to be a million guys that say yes
to that.
Just to get the first kiss.
Nothing further than that, I don't think.
We'll talk again in the spring.
Thanks.
[APPLAUSE]
All right.
Shaneda Johnson.
[APPLAUSE]
Hi.
I'm so excited to be here.
OK.
So my question is I've been married
to my husband for 21 years.
We get along great.
My issue is he pays his son's rent every month.
$900.
And when I want to take a trip, it's sometimes a problem.
How do I handle this?
Well, is he paying-- is he paying
his son's rent with your money?
No.
But it's coming out of our household.
We've been married 21 years.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not a therapist.
I don't really know what to say to you.
Ellen, do you have an idea of what to say to them?
I don't know.
To me, the fact that--
so he's been doing this for how long?
About three years.
Three years.
I mean, did he bring it up?
Did he say, I think, you know-- because it's your money,
like you say.
The two of you have the money together.
Did he say, I would like to pay my son's rent.
How do you feel about that?
No.
OK.
But you should say, then--
first of all, you should have better communication.
So when that started, say, hey, can we talk about this?
Because if it's not going to affect our lifestyle, great.
But I'd like to go on vacations once in a while.
Is this going to affect our lifestyle?
I mean, just be--
just communicate with him and say,
would you like me to all of a sudden start putting
$900 out a month on something that I
want to do without telling you?
You know, ask him how he'd feel about that.
And also, is it your son?
Not at all.
No, it's not your son.
I copy that, OK.
And also, how old is the son?
30.
Yeah.
Oh.
Well, forget it.
Yeah.
I'll tell him.
What is your husband's name?
Let's just tell him right now.
Yeah.
I didn't hear you.
Say it again.
What's your husband's name?
Roderick.
Roderick, it's a wrap on your son, OK?
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
That's ridiculous.
Free.
[LAUGHTER]
I was paying my own way when I was 18.
I had my own apartment when I was nine.
[LAUGHTER]
All right.
Sara Stennard.
Hi, Sara.
Hi, Chelsea.
Hi, Ellen.
Hi.
So what part of not spending money do I not understand?
I have a good job.
I have a terrible relationship with money.
Please help me fix that.
OK.
Well, I'm glad I'm a CPA.
So I can tell you that you should--
I have no good answer for this.
I mean, you just have to use common sense.
You're you.
You're in charge of your life.
You're in charge of your happiness.
You're in charge of your finances.
And you're in charge of getting yourself from point A
to point B. So if you're out of money
and you're spending badly, you've got your--
I mean, you only have yourself to blame.
So, I mean, get on your own team.
What are you spending money on that you're out of money
so much?
Mostly I like to eat out and go to restaurants.
And obviously, in LA, it's easy.
Or get a boyfriend and have him pay for things.
Yeah.
Right.
I like that one, as well.
Yeah.
Maybe your husband can adopt her.
Yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
Roderick.
[APPLAUSE]
Roderick can adopt her.
[APPLAUSE]
All right.
Life Will Be the Death of Me:... and you too! is in stores now.
And you're all going home with a copy.
Go to our website to find out where
you can see Chelsea on tour.
Hi, I'm Andy.
Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel
so you can see more awesome videos,
like videos of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things,
like ball-peen hammer, and also some videos of Ellen
and other celebrities, if you're into that sort of thing.
[SCREAMING]
[BLEEP]
God [BLEEP].