- Ay yo, homeschool check
♪ Oh the grass is greener ♪
♪ Than I ever did remember ♪
♪ With you darling ♪
♪ I think the air is cleaner ♪
♪ The smoke is gone ♪
♪ And the skies are growing nearer ♪
- (narrator) Every TikTok ever
♪ Don't stop, ♪
♪ Give me the best that you got ♪
♪ Why don't you make it too hot ♪
♪ All that I need is more, more, more ♪
- No, no, no.
You do it until you get it right.
Get it right!
- Okay, okay.
♪ Don't stop ♪
♪ Give me that ♪
- No, no, no. Like this
You go
(movement expressions)
And then like that.
Like that!
- Okay.
- Okay?
- It's been four hours.
- Okay, do you want to be in a
Super Bowl hummus commercial or no?
- I do, I do.
- Okay.
Go!
♪ Don't stop ♪
♪ Give me the best that you ♪
(yelling)
- (Narrator) I just take tweets
and act them out in person.
It's not stealing.
- Brit, wanna be in a TikTok with me?
- Okay.
Brittny slept with my boyfriend Taylor,
and she doesn't know that I know.
- (gasping) Oh my God,
how did you know I slept with Tyler?
- You mean Taylor?
- I thought you said it was going to be Tyler?
- Anyways, she slept with my boyfriend.
- Oh my God, I am sorry.
Wait, what's my line?
- Oh my God,
I gave you the script last last week.
Do you even want to be a famous homewrecker?
- Yes.
- I'm not going to tag you
if you keep (beep) up.
- Okay.
- Brit slept with my boyfriend Taylor.
- Oh my God.
How did you know I slept with Taylor?
Yes, nailed it.
- We're going to have to
take that back one more time.
- Okay, dammit.
- (Narrator) TikTok,
now you don't have to peak in high school.
♪ Twenty-Four seven, ♪
♪ Three, six, five ♪
♪ Party don't stop ♪
♪ Get it, get it ♪
♪ I keep on dancing ♪
♪ With the light of your eyes ♪
♪ We keep it dirty ♪
♪ All night, all night yeah ♪
- Ah dude, she is so hot.
She can tie a cherry-stem in a knot
using her tongue.
- Why is that hot?
- Ah man,
I bet she could tie my tongue in a knot
using her tongue.
- That's just weird.
- Ah dude,
I bet she could tie my wiener in a knot
using her tongue.
- What?
- (Narrator) No,
the page refreshed before I liked it.
Now I'm never going to find that TikTok again!
- Yeah all right, TikTok is pretty cool.
I mean,
yeah it's easy to make fun of,
but it's a great way for people to show
off their talents.
- I agree.
(muffled yelling)
- Can we pretend we never saw that?
- Yep.
(car squeaking)
- (Narrator) I've been practicing the Renegade
for three months.
- Ay yo, witchcraft check.
♪ Every soul we take ♪
♪ It brings us greater power ♪
♪ Every heart we break ♪
♪ Surrender to the witch ♪
- (Narrator) Finally,
a haven for cosplayers.
- (man in red pants) I mean,
TikTok's fun as heck,
but I don't know if I'm ready to trust it again.
- I agree.
I love the new platform,
but I feel like my walls are up.
Like, I don't want to get my heart broken again.
- Yes!
I just keep picturing the app
walking out of my life,
out of nowhere.
- I just don't want to be left alone again.
I mean, TikTok?
TikTok?
(yelling)
- That's just the sound of time counting down
until it abandons us again.
- (girl in pink shirt) You're right.
- Hey guys.
Did you know that there's a Vine two.
It's called Bite.
- No.
- That sounds so stupid.
- Sounds dumb as heck.
- Yeah, that's not going to last at all.
- Oh, okay.
- Get out of here,
you started Vine late.
- I, yeah I wasn't
- No
- Don't take the,
hey, no!
(yelling)
- God dang it.
- Get out.
Get out of here.
Viner's only.
- Coffee is for us.
- Do you guys want to make a
TikTok together?
- No.
- Okay.
- (Narrator) It's not lip syncing,
I'm acting.
♪ Everybody wants a piece of me ♪
♪ Well that's fine ♪
♪ But next time ♪
♪ Ain't coming back as someone perfect ♪
♪ No ♪
♪ I'm heading straight into the train wreck ♪
♪ Train wreck ♪
♪ Now everybody wants a piece of me ♪
- Are you filming again?
We've been over this.
This is a serious HIPAA violation.
Lady, you are not just risking your career,
but you're also risking a very big
lawsuit at this hospital.
So I need you to understand,
this information you're putting out,
is extremely inaccurate to a dangerous degree.
- But doctor, it's okay.
I turned off the comments.
- What? Oh my God.
♪ Everybody want's a piece of me ♪
♪ Well that's fine ♪
♪ But next time ♪
♪ Ain't coming back as someone perfect ♪
♪ No ♪
- (Narrator) Was that animal video cute
or abusive? You decide.
- So go,
this is for Rachel,
you big, fat, stupid
- (man in green shirt) Hey guys.
I need some help.
I learned a new cry,
but I'm having trouble
figuring out the POV for it.
Like, I've already done a bunch of oddly
specific we broke up stuff.
- Okay.
Well just show us the cry,
and then we can figure it out from there.
- Okay.
(crying)
- Wow.
That's next level.
- Thank you, thank you.
- That's good.
- I appreciate it.
I was thinking something like,
POV, we're about to kiss,
but then, you break up with me,
but then, you say nevermind,
but then, you say nevermind, again.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I got one.
So like, it's like.
POV, we're about to kiss,
but the I remember you were killed
by that drunk horse three years ago,
but then you're still standing in front of me,
and I'm like ah, so I lean in,
but then I remember I can't kiss ghosts.
- Oh, yeah.
How about,
POV, we're about to kiss,
but then you tell me
that I'm getting drafted into World War three,
and then you sneeze really loud,
but I'm still sad.
- That's perfect.
- (Narrator) Wait,
people live stream on here?
- Ay yo,
I think my grandfathers a serial killer check.
♪By ♪
♪ By the time she reads this note ♪
♪ I'll be ♪
♪ Flying out to Cali ♪
♪ Sitting by the ocean ♪
♪ Soaking in all I can stand ♪
♪ Oh and this time ♪
♪ I ain't coming back again ♪
- Are you recording?
(yelling)
- How do I turn this
How do I turn this off?
- There's something weird about this.
- Oh my God, you're noticing it too?
- Yeah.
The vibe checks all sound like
they've been recorded by the same introverted girl.
- But that's not possible, right?
(typing)
- Ay yo, pretty until I cry check.
- All right.
Next we need a ay yo,
my period lasts for fourteen days check.
- Ay yo, my period lasts for fourteen days check.
- Good, that was good.
I like that.
- Yo.
I just ate a bunch of expired soup check.
Oh make my tummy go ouch.
It goes hurt hurt.
It goes pop, and it hurts.
It hurts to go oh, oh, oh.
And I messed up the bathroom
and nobody knows that it was me,
cause it was a secret.
Because it was my roommates soup,
and I shouldn't have had it.
Cause it goes pop, and it just hurts.
It hurts.
(beep)
(singing)
- It's been four hours.
- Shut up!
Shut up you!
You want to be famous
TikTok whore or no?
- I do.
- Good.
- My mic keeps freaking falling.
(beep)
- (beep) my foot hurts!
- (lady in green) Aw are you okay?
- Yowzers yes it's fine.
- (lady in green) Do you want to cut?
- No I can do it, I'm a big boy.
(laughing)
- It just hurts.
All right.
(beep)
- Oh my God.
How did you know I slept with Tortle?
Ah, wrong name.
- You know what, my boyfriend's name is Tortle.
- Tortle
- That's his name, that's his name.
(beep)
- You heard what I said.
That is exactly what I said.
I'm not going to shy away from it.
I'm proud of what I thought.
Turn it into a Wetzel's Pretzel.
- You know the Looney Toons where Elmer Fudd
points his gun at them and he goes like
(shooting imitation)
- Yeah.
She's going to Bugs Bunny my penis.
- Bugs Bunny your penis into a gun.
- She's going to Bugs Bunny my penis.
- With your dick.
- It's a medical procedure
that they do.
- I've seen scrubs.
(laughing)
(beep)
- Just go.
Just go.
- Okay I'm putting it back.
- No, you have it in your hand still.
- You just took another one.
- Stop.
- You took two.
- I don't have two.
I just have one.
I'm putting it back.
- Okay, well put it back.
- I'm putting it back.
I put it back, I put it back.
- No. It's still in your hand.
- (girl in black shirt) I see it.
Ah, TikTok users be white.
- (man in striped shirt) I don't use TikTok.
- Yes you do.
(beep)
- By the way, it came back positive.
Yeah.
So you should probably start doing treatment.
Pretty quickly.
- Positive for,
what is it again?
- Pretty much everything we tested you for.
(laughing)
(beep)
- This is for Rachel,
you big, fat, stupid, bitch.
Why you take me off the mother
schedule with your trifling ass.
And then it cuts off,
it's fifteen seconds.
- Oh yeah.
- Okay.
Do you wanna be in that one?
(laughing)
(beep)
- Yeah, it was very good.
It was a good,
good business.
- Good business.
- No, it's my,
I say good business.
- I say good business, check.
- I managed the Beatles.
The ones that are dead.
(beep)
- All right Shane, just like we practiced.
- (man in red and man in green) Hey everyone,
thanks so much for watching every TikTok ever.
If you want to see another Smosh video,
you can click right here,
to see something we've done in the past.
If you want to check out our merch,
which we really appreciate,
right down here in the corner.
Otherwise, if you haven't subscribed yet,
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Whoa!
Oops!