Don't try this at home.
We're what you call "experts."
Really?
Yeah!
Hello, and welcome to "Is it a Good Idea to MIcrowave This?" I'm your host, Jory Caron.
And I'm your sober sidekick, Riley McIlwain.
We're going to be doing a drinking bird. Like, drinking? Like, drinking bird?
I mean, like, WAY drinking bird! I mean, look at him!
Jory: Like, can't even stand up?
Look how he's, like, so drunk! Look it- he's like... (makes gagging noises)
You try to give him a little pat on the back... Aw!
Jory and Riley: Looks like someone just flipped the bird!
*theme song plays*
Jory: It smells like victory!
Jory: All hands to the deck!
Jory: Nobody likes roasted nuts!
Jory: Let's get outta here!
Jory: Ventilation is key!
Jon: What're you doing?! Put that out!
Jory: Stopping, stopping!
Jory: The masks- they do nothing!
Riley: The tin foil shield- it actually works!
Jon: Does it still work?
Jory: You're dumb!
Jory and Riley: 2.6!
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?
Let's find out! Here at the Jory Caron Laboratory, safety is our number...
That's why we hide behind this giant tin foil shield. It's to protect our nuts, because nobody likes roasted nuts.
This drinking bird was donated by Scigatt. Let's go and see what it does!
*chirping bird sound*
We also have this fan and stuff, to circulate the air, and, as always, our Panasonic microwave, Penny. She's served us well!
Would you stop doing that?!
Jon: What did you put it in there for?
Jory and Riley: Poultry!
Jon: Poultry! (laughs)
Jory: Chicken pieces!
Jon: I don't know, put in "7." That seems like a good number.
Jon: Get out of there!
Jory: I see some sparks near the top and around the middle.
Riley: Whoa!
Jory: What the hell was that?!
Jon: That was the bird trying to fly away to freedom.
Jory: It's a cockfight, is what it is!
Jory: As it heats up, it should start bending down.
Riley: Does that stuff look green to you?
Jory: No, that's the feather.
Jory: As they heat up, drinking birds usually dip down, and when they dip their head in water, they flip back up.
Jon: It looks like his feet are still in the air, but he just fell off them.
Jon: The sad drinking bird is now just a drunk, hungover bird.
Jory: And he's smoking.
Jon: That's what I do when I'm hungover!
Riley: Oh, it melted.
Jon: Oh, help me! I'm drunk!
Jon: Ah! Help me!
Jon: I think that's that bird's swan song, that's what that is!
Jory: Don't stop it- if the flames can lick that thing of water, it will blow.
Jon: You think so?
Jory: Yeah, it'll heat it up, it'll boil, it'll blow.
Jon: That little ball? His little testicle filled with bird semen?
Jory: Then again, if it doesn't go...
Jon: That is a good flame right there, dude! Look at that! That is a good flame. That is just scorching the inside of the microwave right now.
Jory: Let's turn on the fan.
Riley: I think it's too far away from the ball. I don't think the ball's gonna light up.
Jon: If we go in, we should go in right fter there, right after we shut it off... Whoa!
Jon: What the hell just happened?!
Jory: It blew!
Jon: That must've been it, dude, that must've been it.
Jory: Leave the fan on, and turn off the microwave.
Jon: Alright, stand by!
Jon: You good?
Jon: Go for launch!
Riley: Go in hot!
Jon: Watch yourself!
Jon: Good shot!
Jory: It's a new and interesting smell.
So, for some really bizarre, strange reason, you may be wondering, is it a good idea to microwave a drinking bird?
Riley: Why would you?!
Jory: No, no, 'cause they're actually kind of cool.
Jon: Yeah, I want one on my desk!
So, no, it's not a good idea to microwave that, and that's about it for "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm your host, Jory Caron.
*end credits play*
Like, beverage? Let's just microwave it.
Riley: Alright, fine.
Jon: That wasn't that funny, though...
What do we say then, Mr. Hilarious?!
I know, Mr. I'm-the-Director!
Jory: Mr. Ha-Ha-Funny-Man, like, funny, funny!
Mr. I-Get-Paid-the-Most!
Jon: Whoops!