He's gonna take you back to the past
to play the shitty games that suck ass
He'd rather had a buffalo take a diarrhea dump in his ear
He'd rather eat the rotten asshole
of a road-kill skunk and down it with beer
He's the angriest gamer you ever heard
He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd
He's the Angry Atari Sega Nerd
He's the Angry Video Game Nerd
Ghostbusters on Nintendo sucks ass
But if you've seen my review of it you already know that so why am I reviewing it again?
Because it's such an inhumane pile of shit that it deserves it
Well this time I'm over the shock of how fucking horrible this game is so I'm going to be a little more constructive
Here are five things that should have been improved
Number one is going to be a spell check
Let's play teacher and grade this piece of shit
Since it's really short
Let's say 10 points off for every error out of a possible 100.
So okay you ready? Here we go
Well first of all "congratulations" spelled wrong
But it's not even a simple typo
two letters in two different places are wrong
which probably means that really didn't know how to spell it?
Say that's 20 points off for that just because it's such an atrocious misspelling
But then why isn't it plural?
you don't usually say "Congratulation"
you say "Congratulation-s"
So technically that's nothing to do with the spelling. It's a different error altogether
So that's another 10 points for that
Then you've completed a "great game"?
Well that's just simply wrong. 20 points for that statement
Even if it was a great game, it shouldn't have to announce it
So then you have a punctuation error because the next sentence begins with "and".
Then you got an extra "O" in "prooved"
and proved what? proved the justice of our culture?
So it's saying that you proved that our culture has justice?
I don't know
"Now go and rest our heroes"
Instead of "now go and rest, our heroes."
It's telling you to go rest our heroes
Okay, well sorry to say but we had to take off 90 points
but hey the score of 10% means that there's still hope
But wait. Is there any reason that there's one exclamation mark Here, and then there's three up there?
That's another ten points off for lack of consistency with a total score of zero. F-.
It should have said "congratulations! you had the patience to sit through this awful game. You proved your nerdiness . Now Go fuck yourself!"
Now moving on to number two
the second thing in this game that should have been improved
would have been a better use of Ghostbuster characters
After all, this is a game about the ghostbusters.
It could at least acknowledge Egon, Ray, Peter and Winston.
Even the first ninja Turtles game on Nintendo had all four of the turtles.
There supposed to be 4 Ghostbusters as well
but try counting them in the game.
There's two who fight the ghosts
three who entered the Zuul building
Two who fight Gozer
and three who enter the headquarters
now look closely at the Ghostbusters
Notice they're all white which obviously means there's no Winston.
Ernie Hudson
Maybe you're glad that you got left out of this crappy game.
So number three is going to be better graphics
The whole game is just unappealing to look at
there's so much gray in the color Scheme.
It's dull, depressing and lifeless
Where's the color? why is there so much gray?
Nothing even looks like what it's supposed to be
the proton beams look like a line of diamonds
the ghosts, like I said are generic and stereotypical, all the same and none taken from the movie
and the Ghostbusters look like aliens
When they get out to push the car., they definitely don't look like ghostbusters
They don't even resemble human beings
number four better sound
As I've mentioned the music is tiring
to say the least. The game's Ghostbusters
But that doesn't mean we have to hear the ghostbusters theme the whole time
a little more musical variety would have helped
Not to mention more sound effects
And at last number five
yet the most important thing of all that could have been improved
better gameplay
This is seriously one of the most boring fucking games I've ever played in my life
having to buy stuff and getting gas should not have been a part of the game whatsoever
ghostbusters should have just involved going around blasting ghosts
but why was that so fucking hard to accomplish?
Couldn't it at least have more stages?
let's count them. Ignoring the map screen or the store
There's the driving scene, the ghost busting scene, the stairwell, and gozer.
That's it. 4 Stages
I can count all the levels in the game on one hand
If this is supposed to be a game based on a successful movie
Why can't it have more stages inspired by scenes from the movie?
It sucks. Sucks just like a ghost vacuum
Well, you heard me rant about ghostbusters, and you heard me rant about it again.
Well since we're on the topic
Let's check out ghostbusters on the atari 2600
the game starts up right away, the demo screen
So you hit game reset and then the game begins with the store
so you buy your shit, which is really weird-looking
I don't even know what these things are that you're supposed to be buying
but just buy it and then leave
then leave
leave!
fuck
You're supposed to play with the difficulty switches to leave the store
But most the time it doesn't work
so reset the game buy your shit again then leave
leave
There we go
It's nothing but trouble
I mean I can't even get the picture to come in clear
now the first thing I noticed is that there aren't any buildings
it just looks like parks
The driving scene your car is so big it takes up the whole screen
And it looks like there's a mangled rubber chicken on the hood.
There's no other drivers on the road
So there's really no point of these driving scenes other than occasionally a suck up a ghost
The ghost catching scenes are just awkward. I mean no matter what I do. I can't catch the ghost
It's like the game just does whatever it wants
alright. Here we go. We got him we got him. Oh. Oh fuck.
Alright. Drop the trap shoot shoot. Shoot. Ah you fuck
Now we got him move them over move them over. Ah fuck
Shoot the other way the other way
Oh well, we got him.
well basically it's the same shitty ghostbusters game except it's Atari
So it's appropriate for its time.
It was also on the commodore 64
So at the time this was a decent game
but on the Nintendo Entertainment System, you'd expect something better
Well believe it or not the sega master system version was superior. Let's check it out
You got a good opening screen
the music sounds a little more lively
and you got that little bouncy ball karaoke thing going on
If there's something strange
in your neighborhood
Who you gonna call?
ghostbusters!
On the first screen you get to select your car.
Well, why the fuck would I want those other ones?
I want the ghostbusters car. Damn it
then right away. You're buying your equipment
You got this cute little forklift thing to bring the items to your car
then here's a map screen
What do you think? somebody really favored Sega.
look at all the colors.
the ghosts are actually animated, too?
And there's people walking around
I don't exactly understand the idea dropping poop everywhere you go. Thought the ghostbusters are in a car. Not a horse and buggy
So here's the driving scene definitely looks way better.
I also like that no matter how fast you're going, your car stays near the bottom of the screen
The drunk drivers are also easier to Avoid and you still got that vacuum to suck up all the ghosts
Boom! wow never seen a car explode just from hitting garbage
Here's the ghost catching screen. again, way better.
You actually get a variety of ghosts, too
He got the green slime kind
then you got those ones that look like banana peels
They really do look like banana peels
And then they turned green and form together to make voltron.
nah, just kidding. the stay puft marshmallow man
Once again, there's only three ghostbusters.
when you get to the zuul building, you need to get past stay puft.
you got three tries
But you got to get at least two of your ghostbusters past him
so that means you can only fuck up once
Fuck up twice, and you're back at the beginning of the game
It's so fucking tedious at least the game looks nicer than the Nintendo version
But the gameplay isn't much better.
most the time you're just waiting for buildings to blink red which sometimes just never happens
Come on
You want me to catch ghosts or not?
Why am I even playing if there's nothing to do?
There we go.
finally when you get past stay puft you get to the dreaded stairway scene
and what a huge Improvement over the Nintendo version
the layouts a little less bland
you can move in three dimensions
and best of all, you can use your proton packs to fight the ghosts
Now these proton beams are useless you can only shoot up
*sighs* fuck
*sighs* God damn
Jesus cut me a break
The worst fucking thing is when you get hit just one time
just one fucking time
you start all over from the bottom of the fucking stairs all over again
and when all three your ghostbusters are dead, it's over
Sorry, but your mission has failed. the key Master and the Gatekeeper entered the Zuul
so it's not "the Zuul building" anymore
It's just "the Zuul"
and cause "Gorza"
you mean "Gozer"?
they should actually see the fucking movie before they make the damn game
the enemy boss to awaken and destroy the city
you cannot even set foot inside "the Zuul"
because you are unable to earn enough money to gain admittance
Oh so it's like a museum or something you just need to pay to get in?
so all I need is enough money and I can go up a bunch of stairs to fight his sumerian shape-shifting God
Thus the City was completely demolished by Gorza
The game is over try again from the start.
oh really? I thought I could try again from the middle
Well Ghostbusters on Commodore and Atari
It was a nice little original game for the time
the NES version was a lame disappointment
and the sega version improved it a little
tune in next time and we're going to fast forward to 1989 to 1990
and we're going to look at one more ghostbusters game on Nintendo and one on Sega Genesis