(upbeat music) - Hi everyone, so today
I'm talking about a Before We Kick the Bucket must-do.
I'm talkin' the Amazon Rainforest.
So, we flew into Lima, and from Lima
we caught a couple of planes down to Puerto Maldonado.
And from there, we jumped on a bus
that took us through all these crazy-ass little dirt tracks
and little remote, remote villages
and got to the banks of the Amazon Rainforest.
From there, motorized canoe, an hour or so on that.
That experience alone, just being on a motorized canoe
going up the Amazon River,
surrounded by the thickest jungle
you've ever seen in your life,
and even from the river, I mean,
we could see caiman straight away.
We could see caiman, we could see turtles, we saw macaws
and toucans from the river banks as we were goin' in.
When we get there, we step off this motorized canoe
and we walk up this track and as you're moving up,
I can't even explain, and I wish I could've recorded it,
but there's just, I just don't think it does it justice,
is the sound of the Amazon jungle.
You've got like this, insect-y sort of back tone going
of a million insects all makin' their own noises.
On top of that you've got all these birds
that are hootin' and howlin',
all these birds that you've never heard before.
So all these sounds are new
and they're all overlaid over the top of that.
On top of that you've got monkeys
that are hootin' and jumpin' and movin'
and you can see the treetops moving
and you can see shapes moving over there
and things moving over there.
That sound is something that will stay with me forever,
the sound of the Amazon jungle.
It's just like, (inhales) you'll have to go there.
You'll have to go there before you kick the bucket
to go and see it, to go and hear it,
because it's just mind-blowing.
It's just mind-blowing.
So, when you walk around the Australian bush,
it's like yeah, we've got all these animals
and you could see koalas and you could see possums
and you could see this and I was worried
when we were going down there
that it would be like that, it'd be like, yeah,
the Amazon jungle has got all these creatures
but there's so much jungle to hide in
that you don't actually see them.
But, man, it delivered.
We saw turtles, we saw caiman, we saw macaws, toucans.
Otters, we saw two-meter otters
swimming around in the morning.
Oh, and the mist coming off the water
with these otters just doin' their thing.
It was amazing, mind-blowing.
Snakes, we saw poison dart frogs.
I thought those things would be remote, hidden,
off under some branch. (chirping)
Man, those things are everywhere
and they sound like a car alarm.
Monkeys, there was just all sorts of species of monkeys.
I don't know my monkey species, but it blows my mind
when I see the little spider monkeys and things
just running around and doing their thing
and jumpin' from branch to branch
and you see the little cute babies.
They're really cool.
We saw a sloth.
We saw a wild sloth.
I don't have a photo of this because it was way up there,
but you could, and it was doin' nothin'.
Let's face it, they don't do much.
But that was my daughter's, like, main thing.
Her dream was to see a sloth.
They're so endangered and they're so rare.
I couldn't believe it.
And we actually saw it like,
maybe a hundred meters from the eco resort.
And that was the thing, we weren't doing big treks
out to see all of this stuff.
Like, it was right there in and around the eco resort.
We saw a guinea pig the size of a dog.
It's real.
It's called a capybara, look it up.
We saw lizards.
We went piranha fishing.
We went piranha fishing, it was so cool.
So you're getting little tiny bits of meat
on little tiny hooks,
and you put 'em in the water, and I can tell you,
I don't know how many piranha are in there,
but the second that that meat goes under that water, bang.
Bang bang bang.
You just feel this, it's not like normal fishing
where you feel a tug because they don't
actually sort of, like, swallow it or anything.
But they hit that meat so fast.
They just go (imitates piranha) and it's gone.
They are so hard to catch.
The only one who caught one was my son, Blake.
He just somehow (slurps)
nails this little piranha and brings it in.
And that was just so trippy.
So trippy to see a real piranha
and see their sharp little teeth.
And yeah, to just catch 'em and throw 'em back.
Ugh, tarantulas.
Freaky but oh, so good to see.
The guy gets his little stick
and he just wiggles it next to the hole
and these giant tarantulas come walkin' out.
They are the freakiest and scariest thing.
Um, what else?
When we were leaving, we were back in the motorized canoe
heading up the river, and there is an anteater
swimming across the Amazon River.
There's an anteater swimming across the Amazon.
Like, yeah.
And the dude had really big ears.
That was the surprising thing.
And the fact that he was actually swimming across the river
and that he hadn't been eaten by anything.
All of that was quite surprising.
The accommodation.
So, look, it's basic.
You're remote.
And it's all made of bamboo, but it's amazing looking.
Like, the resort itself, the eco resort,
is just made in such a cool way
using the timber from that area.
There's these big walkways, so we're goin' down the walkway
and we get to our room, we open up the room.
And the most amazing part is when you open it up,
there's only three walls.
One wall is completely open, other than a leaning rail.
It's completely open to the jungle.
It's (stutters) it's so cool.
It's so cool.
And while you do have that, oh,
I wonder if somethin' will crawl in
in the middle of the night and kill me, at the same time,
the full noise of that jungle just comes through.
One night, something landed on the roof
or propped itself on the roof.
I don't know what it was, but it sounded
like the scariest goddamn thing you could dream up.
If I had to describe the noise,
it was like a cross between, say a bear, and a
serial killer choking someone to death.
That kinda crazy-ass, I don't know what that is,
but I'm scared for my life, that kinda shit.
That kinda shit that you only get in the Amazon jungle.
There was a bat, that I shit you not,
sounded like a helicopter.
The noise that come off this bat's wings
was just unbelievable, and also pretty freaky.
So, as far as fun, as far as adventure,
as far as very very, like for my teenagers,
one of the best experiences they will ever have.
And I don't know what my rating scale is.
What's my rating scale?
My rating scale is fuckin' do it.
Fuckin', the Amazon jungle is mind-blowingly awesome
and if you get the opportunity, take your kids and go there
and just let your mind be blown by how amazing it is.
Do it before you kick the bucket.
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