What are five signs your ex wants you back but won't admit it? That's what we're going
to be talking about in this video, but first, my name is Clay with modernlove.life where
we help you get the great loving relationship that you're looking for without having to
play hard to get, without having to play mind games, and without having to pretend to be
someone or something that you are not because you deserve to be loved for the unique, amazing,
and wonderful person that you are.
Before we go ahead and get into this, I want to let you know that we do have our new course
on helping you to get through difficult conversations with your ex, turning these challenging moments
that could turn out really badly into opportunities for greater connection and positive interactions.
It's called Connect and Commit. You can learn more about it down in the description box
down below or in a pinned comment in the comment section.
It's not particularly expensive. So if you're looking for something that's not going to
break the bank, that's probably what you might want to look at. Go ahead and check it out
if you're interested. Not going to hard sell you on it, but it's down there if you're curious.
Okay, so let's go ahead and get into this. We have our first sign that your ex wants
you back but won't admit it. And that is if they find reasons to keep you in their life
that are not practical. Now, I mean sure, of course. If the two of you have a kid together
or if you work together or something, those are practical reasons why you need to keep
in contact with one another. But all those things aside or if those are in place, but
you're still in communication with them and they're still in contact with you for nonessential
reasons, then that just shows that they want to keep you in their life, that they want
to keep you around them and that they're deriving some degree of value from your time together.
And it's not too much of a leap to say that they might actually want to get back together
with you, or they might be open to the possibility of rebuilding a connection between the two
of you if they're still kind of on the fence about it right now, because maybe they're
working through confusion or maybe they're working through their own emotional issues
or something like that.
The second sign that your ex wants you back but won't admit it, is if they tried to get
an emotional response from you. Any kind of emotional response, whether it's having a
good interaction with you, they're sharing good news with you, they're telling you about
their successes or wins or something like that. Or it could be maybe on the not so positive
emotional side of the spectrum, like they're trying to make you jealous, they're trying
to get an emotional response from you in that way. They may be posting things online on
social media or maybe even doing things in front of you in real life to try and get you
jealous. They're posting pictures of themselves with attractive strangers or something like
that. Although, given the situation, you might not be experiencing a lot of that right now.
But, if you're stumbling across this video months or years from now, hopefully the situation
has resolved itself and we're all back to normal life. But that's something to keep
in mind.
If your ex is trying to elicit an emotional response from you, positive or negative, it
shows that they are still entwined in the emotional dance with you. And it shows that
they're still trying to get an emotional response from you even in whatever circumstances it
might be. A positive emotional response, a negative emotional response, they're trying
to engage with you on an emotional level. And that just shows that they are emotionally
attached to you. And of course that can be taken in a way where we can switch it into
a positive interaction, kind of like with that Connect and Commit course down below,
and you can turn it into a possibility for a stronger emotional connection that brings
the two of you closer together, okay? That's definitely a sign as well.
The third sign that your ex wants you back but won't admit it, is if they turn toward
you for help or emotional support during challenging times. Not to get too far off track here,
but there's a really famous guy named John Gottman who helps people to save their marriages,
and he's written books on the subject. And one of the ways that he can really tell if
a couple is going to make it or not, one of many factors, not the only factor, but one
of many factors is if they do it, he says, turn towards one another rather than turn
away from one another.
And this can be in small moments like, "Oh hey, you see that thing over there? It reminds
me of that summer we took a trip to this place and ..." That's like one way of turning towards
somebody. But I mean obviously a big way of turning towards another person is to turn
to them for emotional or even practical help, especially when it's not the one way that
you can get practical help, right? Like if you happen to be a tax person and your ex
turns to you for tax help, that's one thing. But, if you have some just random job and
they ask you to help you move or something like that and you're not a professional mover,
that just shows that they're turning toward you for help or they're turning toward you
for an emotional reason, like, "I had a really hard day at work today. Can I talk to you?"
Or, "I have something that I want to share with you. I want to share with you about how
this thing went really well at work, or how I just had the best conversation with my mother,"
or something like that.
These are examples of turning toward one another, and it helps to indicate that, yeah, you're
still investing in the dynamic between each other and it's bringing the two of you closer
together. So that's definitely a sign that the two of you are moving towards one another.
By the way, before you go on, if you want to learn more about signs that your ex wants
you back, you might want to check out our series on the subject up there. But with that
being said, let's get into sign four.
This one is if your ex flirts with you or otherwise does things that a friend wouldn't,
if you know what I mean. We've talked about the friend zone before. I'm not going to go
into it here, but if your ex is doing something that ... Let's just take a step back here.
If you can pretend for a moment that you have another partner and your ex has another partner
and the two of you are in separate relationships. Would those imaginary hypothetical partners
be uncomfortable with the degree to which you and your ex are interacting? If they would
be uncomfortable with that, then it probably means there's something a little bit more
than platonic going on here, okay? And that means that they're interacting with you in
a way beyond how a friend would interact with you, okay? And that means that there's probably
something happening here that's moving the two of you closer towards one another and
pulling the two of you towards one or another.
Your ex, yeah, like we've talked about before, they might still have some confusion to work
through, but there's definitely a part of them that wants to be near you, a part of
them that wants to be back together with you in that dynamic, okay?
And the fifth sign that your ex wants you back but won't admit it, is if they probe
about your love life or dating life. They ask if you're seeing anyone. They ask if you're
dating someone. They ask or maybe they may just make comments like, "Oh, you could totally
get another boyfriend, girlfriend. You could totally get someone like that. You could totally
get ... " And you know it's not like a joke or something. They're not pointing to someone
that is obviously not your type or something like that.
Or if they make it clear that they are not with someone else, they make it clear that
they are still available to you or if they're in a rebound relationship that they haven't
slept with the new rebound person or something like that or that the relationship is kind
of blah or something like that. If they do something to kind of let you know that they're
available or that the connection that they have with you is better than with other people,
or that they're interested or curious about whether or not you are available or whether
or not you're interested in someone or whether or not you're dating someone or anything like
that, it just shows that they are kind of probing to see where you're at.
They might not feel comfortable directly asking like, "Hey, do you want to get back together?
Do you want a date or anything like that?" Maybe they might be. I've definitely heard
of things like that before. But chances are they might just be kind of testing the waters
to kind of see where you're at, to see how you'll respond. So that is a very common thing
as well too. And that's something that you can easily help them through that by looking
at this sign and the other signs to get a sense about where they're at and how to respond.
So just to sum up. The first one is they find a reason to keep you in their life that's
not practical. Number two, they try to get an emotional response from you, either positive
or negative. Number three, they turn toward you for emotional help and support when maybe
they don't need to. Number four, they flirt or otherwise do things that a friend would
not do with you. Let's leave it at that. Or five, they take an interest in your love life
or make sure that you know that they are available.
If you want to learn more about how to kind of shift these interactions towards a more
positive note, especially towards getting back together, especially if you're seeing
a lot of these signs, you might be interested in our Connect and Commit course. Again, information
for that is down below in the description box.
But once again, this is Clay. Thank you so much for watching this video. Please help
me out by hitting that thumbs up button for this video. And, if you're new here, subscribe
to the channel so that you can get updated when we upload new videos, right? But thanks
again. If you're interested in learning more about signs that your ex wants you back, or
maybe doesn't want you back, check out this series over here. Or you might be interested
in this video over here. But thank you so much and I'll talk to you next time. Please
take care.