Everybody settled in to 2019 so far?
[CHEERING]
I don't know what's worse, that I'm still writing 2018
on my checks or the fact that is 2019 and we still have checks.
2018 is behind us.
I thought I would recap some of the most popular things
on the internet, things that people
seem to really, really respond to,
get millions and millions of views.
So let's start with Instagram.
One of the top trends last year was
something called ASMR, which I don't know if you-- so it
stands for Autonomous Sensory, something, whatever.
But basically they're videos that people find soothing.
And some examples of these soothing videos
are slime popping, soap cutting, and gentle whispering,
which I thought all whispering was gentle.
Because if it's not gentle, it's talking, is what it is.
This video has over 16 million views.
(WHISPERING) Today, I decided to just have
some one on one time with you.
So no rules, no games.
Just Pepper time.
(WHISPERING) So [INAUDIBLE],, so quiet.
That's what she does.
So, so quiet.
Hi.
Shh.
Let's talk about that.
OK. (TALKING) All right.
Then that's 16 million views.
I just increased my audience just now.
Scratching is another one that's popular.
Some people say this helps with insomnia.
This is another very popular one.
[SCRATCHING NOISE]
[SNORING NOISES] Oh, so soothing, isn't it?
It's so-- we're all so calm after that.
This is soap cutting.
And I don't know who decided to cut soap.
I don't know who finds soap cutting relaxing.
But someone decided that they would.
And it is.
And they did it.
And here it is.
[SOAP-CUTTING NOISES]
Wow.
That's-- oh, it ended too soon, I thought.
That was a waste of soap and time, really.
Unbelievable.
And then the last here, the number one YouTuber
made $22 million.
He's eight years old.
Eight, $22 million dollars!
When I was eight, I made a pie out of mud and I ate it.
This kid's name is Ryan.
But his parents call a meal ticket.
And-- [LAUGHS] So far, this is the closest example
of why I should have a kid.
It's still a no.
But he opens toys and he plays with them.
That's it.
Now I'm trying the Dory one.
OK.
Look at the fin.
That's funny, right?
How is this kid making more money off of Dory than I am?
How!
What's happening!
I've said it before, I'll say it again, I'm working too hard.
I could just be scratching the table,
and cutting soap, and whispering.
Mm.