Focus on me
Fo-Fo-Fo-Focus on me
Oh, it's focusing. Oh shit. Hello! Hi!
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Hi! Hello, my name is Chase.
And today we're talking about hair loss dysphoria.
Now
Pleaseee! Before we even start talking about this:
Don't mention me dyeing my hair. Okay?
Let's not do this. Let's not go down that alley right now.
Because I just wanna talk about
the dysphoria that I have
and a lot of people, who are trans men, have
and obviously cis men, too,
but let's talk about trans right now
Fuck the cis - it's always about them.
I'm sorry.
Oh my God.
Hair loss dysphoria is real.
And I get it, okay?
I get it; we signed up for this.
If you're gonna take testosterone
you can't - you can't pick and choose what ingredients, and what happens to you.
Ingredients?
And what changes happen to you,
and you have to deal
because "all men lose their hair"
Tuts. Let's - just give me a second to explain myself over here, okay?
I am very scared to lose my hair, okay?
And I will say that I use "Manic Panic" hair dye
which is vegan, and it is not bad for your hair
And I have looked it up and I'm fine
But, ever since I started T, my hairline has been receding.
Which is normal, and that happens to almost every trans guy that goes on T.
or trans, or nonbinary person that is transmasc, under th - I'm just going to use trans as the umbrella term, okay?
Anyone who goes on T, how about that?
And my hairline receded a lot.
And recently I've, like, looked at pictures of me where my hair was there, and I'm like "how much hair did I lose?!"
I just have like, a crisis.
And then sometimes I look at my hair and I'm like "Oh, I didn't lose that much hair."
I'm being like, really dramatic.
So the thing is, is that I am 26 years old, alright?
And sure, some cis guys start balding at 26 years old. Fantastic.
But you know what they had? 26 years of being male, and being comfortable as male
And not even questioning their gender identity.
Me? I've been on T for seven years. And I have only lived as my true self, and "passed" - started "passing" really for six years.
And that's not fair.
So, like it's-it's-it's more like the mourning of, like, 20 years
that I missed on having hair as male.
And I know that that's a weird fucking concept to talk about
Oh, I'm sorry I'm swearing. I should like, really be careful. But,
I think that
it's-it's like you have to mourn so many things in your transition,
and it's not like, "is it even worth it?" at that point, because of course it's worth it.
Of course. This is how I've always seen myself.
It just sucks
And we are allowed to complain about losing our hair.
I have so much dysphoria, literally, about losing my hair
that I am on medication to prevent my hair from falling out more, alright?
And I'm gonna talk about that just a little bit.
Just a little bit, though.
So the medication that I'm on is - oh my. Ah, no, can I say the name of the medication?
xxx? Yeah. That's the generic name. I think I'm allowed to say that name
It is the generic version of another medication that starts with "P"
I don't wanna say it because I think if you say names of medication
that are like "brand names", it just, like, your video doesn't get monetized or something.
So I don't wanna deal with that
So this is the cheaper alternative.
It comes in five milligram tablets that you have to cut up in four
so I take like, one fourth of-of a tablet every day
And that doesn't regrow your hair
But it helps your hair to not fall out as fast
So I have - I've been on it for now two years
and I have had, uh, no complaints with it at all.
It is working the way that it's supposed to.
My hair falls out so much less
Um. Two months ago I did actually go off of it for a month because
I thought that xxx was linked to my issue I was having with my junk
where I was like, numb and I couldn't feel anything
and it was like - it was not fun
But, the conclusion was that it's actually not xxx
because even though I was off for like, all that time, I was still having that problem,
so I went back on because the anxiety that I had
over not being on this medication gave me more anxiety
and it was just all over the place,
but I noticed that my hair was falling out more
And there are certain things that I just can't handle
And I-I sometimes like to play with my hair and just do that
And I would look down at my - and it would be full.
That's not something I wanna deal with right now
I would like to focus on other things in my life
Like finishing my thesis, okay?
So I'm on this medication, and like you saw, I can like, play with my hair
I'm very gentle with my hair now
But I play with my hair and there's no hair at all
Yeah, sure, it falls out a little bit, and that's normal
But it doesn't fall out as more - as more? as much as it did before
So to me, this medication is super important to me
it has helped my hair loss dysphoria
But my - it just. It just sucks.
Because I'm at a point where, I'm 26 and I feel like I will lose my hair eventually
And I will rock it.
Because I'll just go bald, like, I'll shave everything, all - whatever
I'll get a wig. I'll get hair transplant. Whatever.
I'll rock whatever happens.
But I feel like this is my last opportunity to have long hair.
And a part of me really wants to let my hair grow.
And I know y'all are going to be like "yessss Chase! werk it, go do it. Long hair don't care"
The grow out stage is just so awkward.
And I don't wanna have to deal with that.
I tried to do it, literally, like two weeks ago.
I was like "I think I'm gonna let my hair grow."
And I literally cut my hair that day because I was like, "I can't do this"
I cut my sides. I'm trying to let my, my - um, middle grow, maybe?
So I can do like a little. Like a swoop?
Like a swoop.
Also, why am I so far away?
I've been making videos so far away! I can come a little closer so y'all can see me
I think it's just because the light is like, really bright.
So yeah. So I'm gonna get close up in here,
and we're gonna talk about my hair.
Please God. Please. I'm begging you. Don't give me hate on my hair.
Please. I'm allowed to have dysphoria.
Okay? Related to my hair.
It's normal. I'm allowed.
This is my body. Please.
Um. So. I just feel like it's starting to recede a little.
A little too much.
And that gives me a lot of anxiety.
And I'm okay on top and everywhere else,
but - also, I should've dyed my hair. Like, I should've made it look pretty for this video.
I'm sorry.
Um. But, to me, it just - fuck
There you go.
To me, it just sucks that I have been waiting my whole life to be who I am
and now that I am who I am, I can't have hair.
And I can't do whatever I want with my hair,
So it's like, sometimes I'll like, dye my hair out of spite,
I'm like "You know what? If I'm gonna lose my hair anyways, I might as well just dye my hair
and if that means I get one less year with hair, then so be it because I did everything I could with my hair
and I was fine with it."
Me being passive aggressive at my own self.
Um. I have actually considered going on a lower dose of T.
And sometimes going off of T for a little bit just because I'm so scared of losing my hair.
And I know this is like. "Okay, Chase, you have too much anxiety, can you please fucking relax?"
And I do want to relax, I promise.
But I think that I just want to put this message out there to people,
that you're allowed to have dysphoria over your hair,
I get messages every single day of people being like "what do you use for hair loss?
I'm so scared to lose my hair"
like, "I'm two months on T and I'm already losing all of my hair, like I don't know what to do"
Um. I would say talk to your doctor.
xxx isn't for everyone.
And it has some side effects that some people don't like.
Um. And you can look that up, but it doesn't happen for everyone.
I have not had any side effects, that I know of, from it, so
I feel like I'm lucky for - in that aspect.
Hm? That ass-pect? Sorry. I was like, burping. I had a burp in there.
There are other things that you can try for your hair.
But I don't wanna go into this.
There's - I think it's Argan oil? that you can wash your hair with
The issue with that is that it literally washes out all of your dye.
when you dye your hair
Um. I think that somebody said that coconut oil is really good?
It like stimulates hair growth?
So anything that really stimulates hair growth I think is really great
And then there's this thing that you can do for your beard
It starts with an M. Menadoxidil? Something like that. I don't know what it's called
But like, that's the name of it?
People always ask about this and beard growth and stuff like that
I haven't tried that or anything like that
But what I want from you guys is, if you have any hair tips
hair loss tips
reducing hair loss tips
Please put them in the description below
Say, something that is maybe more natural than taking medication would be fantastic.
Like, um. Apparently putting peppermint oil here helps with your headaches.
You know? stuff like that.
Like, I want natural remedies.
Because I um I-I-I don't know
I want this information for me, but I also want to try all these different things and then bring out the information to you guys
Anyways. So that's it. I have hair loss dysphoria. And it sucks,
because like, my dysphoria over so many things in life have kinda like, gone away?
and I don't really have dysphoria anymore? Only bottom dysphoria.
Sometimes.
And like, I want bottom surgery, sometimes.
Sometimes I don't.
But everything else I'm fine.
And then it's like, my hair.
And it's like, related to my transition.
And it just sucks.
And it just gives me anxiety.
So it would be nice if I could let go of that anxiety, and just kinda accept what's happening
or find something that's really great
Like I know LUSH has this thing that you can - it's like a bar and it smells like cinnamon,
and apparently it does hair regrowth.
It didn't work for me.
I wouldn't - like, I don't know. Like, I love LUSH. Like LUSH sponsor me!
But I don't - I didn't really like that for my hair
It didn't really do anything for me. I don't know.
So please! If you have any tips! or anything like that
Um. Of hair growth and stuff like that, please let me know
I swear to God. I swear to God people are going to comment - I look so masc right now
Like that's not something I want to achieve, but it's just that sometimes I'm like - I'm like, I look good
And sometimes it's like, look at those knot - Oh my God it looks like I have a muscle!
I look like I have a muscle!
Okay, anyway. I love you guys so much! Have a great week! Bye!
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