Have you ever felt like you can’t move on?
No matter how hard you try, you feel like you are stuck in the past.
Your friends tell you to let go and even though it sounds so simple it feels hard.
I know how moving on can feel impossible so this video will go over why you get stuck
and how to let go of the past.
Everyone knows you can’t change the past but we all tend to replay events in our head.
What’s interesting is that most people tend to replay negative events more often than
positive ones.
The reason that happens is because the brain handles negative and positive information
differently.
Negative experiences require more thinking and are processed more thoroughly than positive
ones.
As a result, our brain is a lot better at remembering negative events.
When you replay sad events, you tend to struggle to accept the outcome and it makes you feel
stuck.
The reason why you might struggle to accept the outcome is because recognizing an unhappy
ending makes you feel weak or it might cause emotional pain.
You can’t change how your brain processes negative events but you can reframe your emotional
attachment to those past events.
In order to let go of the past, you have to reframe your relationship with the past.
Here are 6 tips to help you let go of the past.
1.
Don’t let your past problems define who you are.
When you get stuck on a problem, you might struggle to separate the event from who you
are.
People like to create and maintain problems because they can give you a sense of identity.
Your past may shape you but it doesn’t define who you are currently.
Just because you failed at something in the past doesn’t mean you are someone who is
destined to fail at that thing.
Don’t let the past control the person you are right now.
Instead of constantly thinking along the lines of “I can’t believe this happened to me”
try thinking more like “I am fortunate for this opportunity to create a new path in my
life”.
By reframing how you see your past, it can help you move forward.
2.
Let your emotions flow.
When you struggle to let go of the past, you experience emotions like sadness, grief, anger,
and disappointment.
Instead of feeling those emotions, some people bottle them up because they are afraid of
those feelings and they don’t want to experience them.
The problem is that when you are bottling up your feelings, you are disrupting the process
of letting go.
When you bottle up your feelings, they will show themselves later with even worse consequences.
You might end up doing dangerous behaviors you might regret when those pent up emotions
show themselves out of nowhere.
Instead of bottling up your emotions, acknowledge and express your emotions.
3.
Focus on your work.
This tip might not be the best tip to follow in the long term but it is very effective
in the short term.
When you focus on your work, your mind won’t be thinking about the past as much.
If you can reach a flow state while you work, you will focus only on the work and you won’t
even think about the past at all.
A flow state is when you enter a mental state in which the person performing an activity
is fully immersed in it and you are in a state of energized focus.
In order to reach a flow state, you must be in an activity with a clear set of goals and
purpose, the task at hand has to have clear and immediate feedback, and you have to find
the task somewhat challenging.
Your work most likely fits that description so if you find yourself struggling to let
go of the past then you should go do some work.
One thing to watch out for is that if you keep turning to your work to get your mind
off the past then you will find yourself overworking since you will look to your work to escape.
Overworking yourself has negative effects that will get in the way of you moving on
and you don’t want to overwork yourself.
4.
Surround yourself with people who make you feel good.
This is a very simple but effective tip.
When you are feeling down, surrounding yourself with friends and family can lift up your spirits.
Leaning on them for support not only helps you deal with feelings of isolation but it
also helps remind you about the good things you have.
You can talk to them about the problems you are facing and you can work through them with
your friends and family.
Sometimes you can’t let go because you have no one to talk to but if you lean on your
friends and family, you can slowly move forward.
5.
Let go of attachment.
Dalai Lama once said “Attachment is the origin, the root of suffering; hence it is
the cause of suffering.”
There is nothing wrong with loving someone or a career.
The problems start when you are so attached to them that the fear of losing them doesn’t
allow you to enjoy the present.
The best way to let go of the past is to prevent it from sticking to you.
After all, prevention is the best countermeasure.
In order to prevent yourself from being stuck in the past, let go of your expectations.
People don’t get stuck and suffer from a relationship ending, they suffer because they
thought the relationship would last forever.
Most relationships don’t last forever so once you start seeing signs that tell you
it might not last, change your expectations a bit.
6.
Create some distance.
Putting yourself some distance away from the person or situation that is causing you to
be upset is a common piece of advice for those who are struggling to let go of their past.
It’s good sound advice because by distancing yourself, you don’t have to think about
it, be in the presence of it, and you won’t be reminded of it that much.
Also, by putting some distance, you are able to focus on other things besides your past.
Have you ever struggled to let go of the past?
Leave a comment below and check out the video shown on the end screen to learn about the
power of walking away since if you are in a bad situation or relationship, you want
to walk away and leave.