Hey, it's Mark here from Make Him Yours and today, we're doing part two of how to handle
your jealousy. I'm giving you five more tools to handle unjustified jealousy that you experience
in your relationship. Stay tuned.
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Welcome to today's video. It is part two of how to handle your jealousy. I'm very excited
for today's video. It's in the personal development realm that I'm so passionate about and today,
I'm giving you more tools to handle unjustified jealousy in your relationship. Now, you might
remember in the first video, if you haven't watched it already, I'd encourage you to do
so, up here, link, description. In the first video, we talked about how to figure out if
your jealousy is justified and then if it's not, how to retrain your thoughts to handle
it. So today, I want to give you five more tools beyond retraining your thoughts that
allow you to deal with unjustified feelings of jealousy. Number one, ask your partner
for his help. While unjustified feelings of jealousy are your responsibility, it doesn't
mean that your partner can't help you with them by exposing you to them so you can go
to your partner.
And you can say, Hey, I've noticed myself feeling very jealous when X, Y, Z happens,
when other women hit on you, when you go out to a party without me,or you go away on a
trip without me and that's, that's my responsibility. So you make sure you make that clear and I'm
not asking you to stop doing that. What you say is I want to learn to handle that. And
so rather than you not saying anything, what I really want you to do is communicate that
to me. So if another woman's really forward with you, tell me, we'll have a laugh about
it. I'll give you a kiss for being so communicative. Communicate that you want to reward him for
communicating to you the things that would usually make you jealous. Your partner's going
to be on board because you're not trying to control him and you get an opportunity to
handle your jealousy in the situations that would have used to make you jealous.
Number two, value uncertainty. Jealousy is feelings of uncertainty. As we discussed in
the last video, it's feelings of being unsure, relating to a perceived threat. But if you've
decided that your feelings, you've assessed them, and this is unjustified jealousy, then
that uncertainty is very important. So I've talked about negative emotions in previous
videos and how while you never want to set out to make a man feel negative emotions,
you never wanna make him jealous on purpose. You never wanna make him uncertain on purpose.
It will be something that happens naturally as part of you being a high value woman. It's
not just important for him to be a little uncertain at times with you. It's also important
in reverse. The fact is, deep down you love that your man is attractive. You love that.
He makes you a little bit uncertain. It's a good thing because you wouldn't want to
have it any other way.
As soon as all you have is certainty, and a lot of women have this in their relationships
and they're bored shitless by it. As soon as all you have is certainty, you lose attraction,
and you get bored. It's actually very important that your man just makes you that little bit
uncertain, not because he's trying to, that's important, but because he's a high value guy
who stays attractive within himself. If you're honest, you wouldn't have it any other way.
So value that uncertainty and realize the importance of it in maintaining your attraction
for him. Number three, decatastrophize potential loss. So when we're feeling feelings of unjustified
jealousy, it feels like just a disaster is going to ensue. This is our brain telling
us that if we lose a partner, it's the end of our survival and reproduction. And this
was true in a lot of human history, but it's not true now.
The fact you're even watching this video shows that you're a woman who works on herself,
a woman who wants to overcome her own personal barriers, a woman who puts time investing
into herself, those things alone mean that you would be able to adapt and handle it if
the worst were to happen and your relationship were to end. One of my favorite lines from
the last video was he can leave me, he'd just be an idiot to do so. What does that line
really doing? It's decatastrophizing potential loss. It's showing that you would handle it
if he left, even if it would suck for a while, that you grow from it and that you'd find
someone more deserving of you if the worst were to happen. Decatastrophize potential
loss, understand you would be just fine and it will take away those feelings of unjustified
jealousy.
Number four, have your partner explain how your unjustified jealousy makes them feel.
So jealousy is inherently a selfish emotion and selfishness isn't necessarily bad. Humans
are designed to be selfish because it helps us survive and reproduce. That's how our brains
work. But if the jealousy is unjustified and not helping your relationship, then it's important
that you get out of your own head and into your partner's. You want to empathize with
him, have him sit down and ask him, honestly, when I acted like that, when I act these feelings
or do this, how does that make you feel? And he might say, just it feels like you just
don't trust me. Or it feels like, it feels like I'm not enough of a man, so you have
to monitor me to check that I don't meet someone else. It doesn't feel like you have any faith
in me.
And when you hear that, when you hear how your jealousy makes him feel, it's going to
leave you a lot less motivated to follow up on those feelings and act on them. And number
five, ask yourself, what sort of relationship do I really want to build? Do I want to build
a relationship where for the next 40 years I have to monitor his behavior? I have to
be on guard? Do I want to build a relationship where for the next 40 years, I can't just
relax and trust? Do I want to build a relationship where I'm always anxious and worried? Because
that's where on justified feelings of jealousy are taking you, or do I want to just let go
of the outcome, control what I can control, be the best woman that I can be, and then
let the chips fall where they may? Well, that's the video. Thank you so much for watching.
I love these videos. I love these ones that help you with mindsets and help you grow.
What'd you think? Thoughts, comments, questions, love to hear from you. Pop it in the space
below. Make sure you subscribe and give the video a thumbs up as well. And I shall see
you in the next video very soon.
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