It's annoying that men have to pay so much
It's a pain. I hate it.
It's hard to be the leading "follow me girl" type of man
It's victory or defeat? - It is
First take her where she wants to go, then you can think of yourself. In that order
Hey guys and girls on Ask Japanese it's your Tokyo flashy fashion reporter CathyCat
Today's topic that we are gonna go and hit the streets of Tokyo and ask people is
Do or WHY do Japanese boys HATE dating?
We wanna find out. This video is also sponsored by Surfshark
Yes the shark is back, thank you so much so let's go!
What's tough when dating in Japan?
We try to match where she wants to go. So we don't really make decisions
We try to do what the girls want to do
That makes it hard to lead
So you gotta lead but you can't really - Right
You wanna take the lead but....?
We tend to match it to the girl's temper and tastes
This might be very different abroad
Tell me straight up, what's the problem with dating in Japan?
When we gotta decide where to go next
we both end up at "wherever"
Indecisiveness. That's a pain.
"Wherever" is the worst
I don't want her to say "anywhere is fine."
There must be somewhere you wanna go - Right!
You have been on dates before?
I have dated Japanese girls before.
What was tough dating Japanese girls?
Where to go for dates and to find out where she wanted to go
That was hard
It's hard to tell if our hobbies match, so I am trying to ask in advance now
So what I had before, we went to see a movie.
It was not her taste...
It doesn't make a bad mood but also not a good one. Bit of an issue.
You to to make the date plans?
Many girls won't tell where they wanna go
You gotta come up with it?
I try to get it out of them
I try to be considerate of their wishes and such
You also gotta pay attention to your use of words, as it might hurt them.
Many girls will start overthinking the words you used and it will create a gap between you
You have to consider your words and such well.
You gotta watch out mentally for them? - Yeah their mental state and such
I find it hard to predict what girls are thinking. It's a pain.
What they are thinking? So they expect you to predict their thoughts?
Yeah. I try not to do anything that a girl would see as negative
But what if I get wrong what she is thinking and hurt her that way...
What if I misunderstand what she meant, which would hurt her. That's a pain.
When you go on dates with girls, what do you have to watch out for
Ask what food she dislikes, and not go to those places
And make sure to escort her right without being a creep
Escort without being a creep?
Generally you let the girls first on the elevator and let her sit on the nicest seat
You gotta look out for that
What's a pain when dating then?
There is no pain in dating
I am just happy to have a girl by my side
And you? - I agree with him
What tips can you give?
Walk on the side of the road
It leaves a good impression
But in busy places like these in Tokyo, it's sometimes hard to tell where the road side is
When turning making sure she is inside the curve and such
I escort them right
I hate that boys have to pay so much money. What a pain.
How much do you spend on a date?
With my ex, I spend a lot. - Did she treat you too?
Wah... not really
You paid generally? - Generally everything
You would loose a lot of cash that way - I was shocked
What was the most expensive date you ever went on?
Well buying gifts or taking her to amusement parks
and then add the food there and the price for petrol for my car...
as well as going to the convenience stores on the way there, I paid it all.
Did she at least buy you some snacks at the convenience store?
I was shocked but... she did none of that
What are your date tips
Leave it to her. Take her where she wants to go and let her do what she wants to do
Let her eat what she wants. That's how I want to do it.
Is there a space you generally go to or you can recommend?
I first let the girl go wherever she wants to go and then next is me. That's the plan.
Do you not get asked to make plans yourself too?
If I get asked that, I man up and make decisions.
Did you ever have a fight? - With my girlfriend? I have
What is the reason? - Both our faults
Not "who did do the dishes"? - Not like that
The one who sees the dishes should wash them
Have you had fights with your girl?
I don't get angry at all
I never had a fight - We fight all the time
What is the common reason then?
Taking too much time getting ready,
or when we are about to run late. That's when we fight.
Who gets angry you or her? - I do
What annoys you the most?
She can be late a little bit for our date
But if she is 30-60 minutes late I get angry
You said you never fought, but you split up with your ex?
The reason why we broke up? I wanna know
I never got to find that one out
Cheating! - It was not cheating. Not cheating.
I wonder what it was. She just fell out of love with me.
On the phone the conversation was going in that direction so we decided to split up.
If you see him, say hi to him.
YES
Romance is hard....
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What's important on a date?
You gotta look if she seems to not enjoy the food or looks like she's not having fun.
That will make her negative.
That makes it hard to be the manly leader that some want to have.
Many girls want a leader, but the reality is difficult
It is
Director: You do ladies first on a mental level
Girls seem to complain that Japanese boys don't do ladies first, but you do it mentally?
That could be true.
Right now Japanese boys are called passive "grass eaters"
There are less pro-active "meat-eater" type men these days
So looking out for her mental state?
I try to protect her emotionally
Because there are more passive "grass-eater" type boys, girls want pro-active boys instead
Boys gotta try be more pro-active again.
We gotta get back to "leadership" and protecting girls too
Who chooses where to go on a date?
It's not always the same. One day the boy decides,
on another date the girl decides where to go. Money wise you split the bill.
Making every date a little bit different is good.
I think that's more relaxed
Do you want to decide or leave it up to the girl?
I want to surprise her, so I wanna make choices
What surprise is good?
I wanna keep those secret
When you plan a date, what do you have to look out for?
We will take pictures, so we gotta find instagrammable spots where we look good as couple.
Wow you really know the game
Ooooh
But not everything is sunshine, what is a problem when dating?
Well when you don't know yet if you both like each other....
and when everything is new, we tend to worry about the other person's feelings
But if we are already going out, then we know each other's feelings
those are the big differences
When asked if there is a problem with dating his girlfriend, he said "NO" straight out
That's it man.
The time before you are officially going out, is when men gotta work the hardest?
Yes it's about victory or defeat, if you get her or not, I put all energy into that.
It's a battle! - It is!
I hear a lot that Japanese girls say, they cannot tell what Japanese boys are thinking.
Do you never get a moment when she is upset, but you are like "no it's fine"
Japanese boys don't fight. We don't want to fight.
We try our best to avoid fights in advance
We gotta do the work, to make the relationship last.
You wanna keep the peace up? - That's it
What do you do when SHE is angry?
If she looks angry, gotta talk with her
Take your time to talk it out
Nice. What would you do if she looks angry
I would never make a girl angry
Dating and finding the right person is a pain but hey
It's a continuous battle so don't you give up
The start might be a bit hard, but later when you find the right person it will be all worth it.
On that note, if you are curious about dating Japanese people check out this video here
There is more about love, relationships and finding the right person in Japan
So please check it out, thanks for watching the video till the end
I catch you soon for another video on ask Japanese bye