Ah one, two, three
we'll go in on the four.
No, four and
one, two, three, four, and
and then, and one.
We'll go on the one after the four.
One. In fact, I'll just go from two.
No.
There's no one else here.
Drum are an incredible
instrument.
I need some training.
I need some help.
and that's why I've got Matt Helders
from the Kaiser Chiefs.
Arctic Monkeys
I'd just like to learn how to play one song, but I really
What do I really like?
I love the, um, da-da-da da-da-da, the about the pro- the one about the hooker.
Ah, yeah yeah, ah
The one about that time you banged a hooker in Manchester, you know?
Yes.
That actually was Manchester.
Err, what was it?
Scummy Man.
No, is it even called that?
When the Sun Goes Down, sorry.
When the Sun Goes Down.
Right. That's what the demo was called, that's why.
Scummy Man.
That's another one with like, one of those weird intros.
That must have been a phase I was going through.
Of hookers?
No, I mean musically.
Yeah.
'cos you're like "we've got this ace song,
"you know what we can do, we can just tack on a ....
Yeah it's like: intro, I come in do something a bit exciting.
[sort of more interpretive version of the first line of the song]
Yeah. That's it, yeah.
How does it begin?
Who's that girl?
Who's that girl there?
[not massively sure of lyrics]
Something like that yeah
And it's da da da.
So how do you begin that?
Oh, it's a thing. It's "a scumbag don't you know"
and then it's
And then I stop for you to do that on your own.
Oh yeah.
And then it's ..
And then I come in.
Come on; let's do it.
I just wanted to make sure you had it.
Make sure *I* had it? Mate, I'm on it.
Didn't want you to waste my time.
You're the one who didn't know what key.
I think you do two of them but, for the sake of this lesson.
Don't you know.
[this is basically like listening to the actual track]
something something something ford mondo
[again, interpretation more than actual rendition]
[got a bit into it here]
[privately, Turner admits he can't remember most of the lyrics either]
[classic chorus bit which we nailed]
🎤 I predict a riot 🎤
🎤 I predict a 🎤 riot ?
That's like a different
Sorry mate. Sorry, I forgot,
Na, I mean, it happens.
Sometimes ....
getting a bit bored of this theme music now
So the reason you're in London is 'cos you're going off to write with Alex.
We're going to see what we've got when we get there.
We're all going to go together this time.
Oh, all of you?
Yeah yeah yeah.
And you're going to get together and you're gonna
See what, see if there's anything worth recording.
Do, do you sit on the drums and then, like, like, someone will come up with a melody and
you just see what's ... or someone will say, "I've got some to say about Brexit"
and you'll say
I'll say, "Finally."
Exactly.
That's funny.
Ah, usually we will er ...
Like Alex; I mean he's the songwriter primarily
but we make a lot of the decisions together.
So he might come and he's already got a bit of a song; like the bare bones
and we'll put it together.
I mean...
I don't wanna, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna. Let me just ...
You just wanna come up with something now?
Yeah.
[this has number 4 written all over it].
If
any of the new album sounds
remotely like that,
Just bring it to the team, bring it to the team, you know.
No, yeah yeah, of course.
And just say look, that's what, that's what Veitch came up with
could we use any of it
[hands up who's sick of this jingle]
As a band, do you not want to go back to like, the same songs?
'Cos I saw actually, when you went back to Manchester, you actually played,
Sheffield
You actually played um
what was it called, um, Mardy Bum, you did like, a weird version of it.
Yeah. Yeah yeah.
Why do a weird version of it?
No, some of it feels, like, fine to still play.
Some of it feels like we're doing karaoke of our own songs.
You become, become like ... Yeah, comedians do that as well.
They, they become their own tribute band.
Yeah. Like a bit of a caricature.
So it doesn't feel as genuine playing it anymore, like
I'd rather they just have the memory of a version where we really meant it than .....
"We'll just do this for you"
But you know, that
20 years time,
you'll really enjoy playing 'cos you'll
have like these memories associated, so if you don't play for ages.
Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean that's part of it. We're future proof.
It's like I don't have like a, kind of a, you know, if I don't have
Like a Yoplait for a long time,
or a Petits Filous
I get back to it, I'm like, "F***k, Petits Filous," you know?
Oh. Yeah yeah yeah, exactly.
And so that's kind of what it must feel like coming back to an old song
It just feels like a nice Yoghurt.
[I hate this jingle]
If I want to make it as a drummer, like, how do I ...
if I wanna start like, if I wanna
get in a, in a band, and if I want to start, be, become a professional drummer,
what should I be doing, what, what, how did you do it?
I mean, I didn't, I didn't mean to do it.
You know, A lot of these things happen because, right place at the right time, or luck.
I don't really even practice.
It's not like I
It's that sort of attitude that gives Northerners a bad name, alright.
So come on, don't, don't be
I mean yeah, I don't want people to think that anybody can do it.
That's like when you come to school and you go, "I done no revision" but then ...
Yeah, ace it.
You've done a little bit of practice.
Obviously I care about it yeah.
Did you pick it up? Did it come easily?
Yeah. That's the thing.
There was some. I tapped into some natural talent and I got lucky.
Yeah ALRIGHTMATE!
Well I mean, if you've got it, you have.
Have I got it?
[pause that is too long]
James Veitch has got incredible natural talent.
[OS] If something should happen to me
If something should happen to me.
[OS] Then all the other people in the band.
Then all the other people in the band.
[OS] Know that James can take over.
Know that James can take over my position.
You heard it.
I mean that was completely of his own volition so
You heard it here guys.
Also I think I might take
I might take it to a different place?
[awesome Ska cover of Scummy Man song]
"The Arctic Skauuuunkeys"
Yeah
No?
[this is sort of a pared down lo-fi version that I think would sell very well actually]
[jazzy version that would probably not have as many sales but would be critically well received]
I actually think this is better
Have you ever thought about Jazz? You should. This is great.
No.
[musical sting the stuff of nightmares]
We were friends. This is.
The unorthodox part of it is that we decided to be a band before any of us played instruments.
So that's what I'm saying there's no. I can't..
you can't follow this advice because you're already
You're doing it the right way.
But, to be fair, a lot of people, you know
A lot of people say they want to be a fireman
But they don't know how to put out fires.
Yeah I suppose you don't have a natural talent for fire-fighting do you.
And then you just discovered that you could play and that was just lucky
Yeah
You're like "oh, thank f**k
I took minimal risk by buying a cheap drum kit.
And then, erm
Do you know something about Matt Helders?
You think he's like a man of the people, right but
He never... he's never had to work in a bar.
He's never had to like do...
He's never had to, like, work in a shop.
Errrr!
'Cos he just went straight
He was like "Oh I'm 16, 17," like school ends and then
and then he was just like record contract.
So that's
It's not quite like that.
No it's true.
'Cos he has not.
So he's not the sort of, like, hardcore, kind of, you know
dirt in his teeth, nitty gritty.
No, I wasn't selling tyres but
I worked at Next
Did you work at Next?
Next Women's Wear
And British Gas
Customer Service
Keep it with Next Women's Wear
That's a bit creepy actually mate.
Were they like "where do you want to work" And you were like "Women's Wear please!"
No no no I wanted Mens Wear. But then they put me on Women's Wear.
And I dramatically left one Christmas Eve thinking, "this is it, got a record deal"
And it didn't quite happen as quickly as it needed to so I had to go back .
Well, I didn't go back to Next; that was the thing.
Na. Like, next thing. British Gas
"Screw you Next. I'm going to British Gas."
You know how some people they go back to their old
You could go back to Next and do a gig for them. Wouldn't that be nice?
Do a gig for them?
Yeah. Also I've actually got some. They sell great pottery and I have some around here
and I think that'd be a good So shout out. Shout out to Next.
Next Home
Which Next did you work in just for the people out there.
Errr Cortonwood.
Classic Next.
Is that in the Arndale wherever it is?
No, no, Arndale's Manchester.
I'm from. I'm not from there.
Thanks so much for coming mate
This means a lot to me to have you show me the drums, you know?
I...
What do you mean? I thought it was like a charity
Yeah. I had to say that because I didn't think you'd come otherwise.
Yeah, you're probably right.