how do you detach without seeming completely cold okay important question
you know say this all time you know you got to detach I also say
all the time if you detach from all your emotions that means your robot and
people don't follow robots I say it all the time
so when you do detach you can't you can't completely step away but if you do
you have to you have to act you have to do a little acting now first of all we
already talked about this right we already talked about these red flags
that that show that you're gonna lose your temper that you're gonna get
emotional about something you know your clenched fists and your raised voice and
your heavy breathing and your flared nostrils and all that stuff right so you
know what those things mean those things mean those things your your signal that
mean detach okay so you got to work on that now here's the dichotomy of it is
once you are there and once you have detached you actually have to now go
back and do one or some of those things that you are trying not to do you have
to go and you have to do them a little bit in a nice little controlled manner
right maybe you raise your voice a little bit
maybe you just kind of clench your John and you remember I said do you like like
nodding your head in a positive way and that's it that's just when you if you're
coming to me with an issue and I nod my head to the affirmative you know up and
down saying yes I understand yes I understand
that's a soothing thing to your team right they see that you're you're okay
with it the opposite of that is when you shake your head to in the negative I
give you tell me some problem and I'm shaking my head it's like me going damn
I can't believe this is going on right so yeah so maybe that's another thing
that you you know you you clench your drawing you shake your head did you just
show the person like look I know we're in a bad way I get it I'm not sitting
back here like it's no big deal I know it's gonna be a tough I know we just
lost a sale or I know we just you know I'm gonna have to plan another mission
that we just got back I understand that it's hard you care I care yeah
you know I'm I'm with you you want to give that maybe you let out that little
sigh of frustration you don't like a little like something like that right
just gonna do that bill thing just do that just showing that you do got some
emotions and you are invested in all that stuff and and then once once you
see that you've achieved your goal here that you can see that that they see that
you have some emotions on the situation then you you quickly get yourself to
recover from that price you get yourself composed and you've shown them and they
and they've seen it's almost like a little bit see like a little weakness
and they go okay you know chuckles are you a ladies man but you know I actually
want him to calm down I actually am I glad he's so good yeah
he's amazing I'm glad he's calming down that's good okay so then you recover you
go back to your calm cool collected self right that's what we're gonna do now
like I said this is do we call this acting I guess maybe we could call it
acting but the same time acting means you're trying to pretend to be somebody
right you're not trying to pretend to be anybody else you're being you that's all
you're doing you're being you you're just acting like yourself just showing a
little bit more of the emotion and then you would be if you were just completely
detached so it's not like you're trying to act like some you know yeah you're
not trying to play a role someone else are just being you
hmm so and you already know what you do because you've learned how what the
signals are so when you know that you raise your voice and that means you're
okay they just raise your voice a little bit if you know that you you just give a
little sighs it's those careful things and so yeah I guess it is acting in a
way but it's not full-on anybody can do it I think yeah yeah you did I think
that's great this is my opinion you do with your kids you know yeah I mean I'm
you know yeah you know we met or whatever any
good even happy even pretend out happy
no it's okay we'll say excited yeah hey I got something for you it's a drawing
of a happy face same as she did yesterday you know it's like I'm not the
honest truth is I'm excited about other things we'll just say that all that love
you got for crying about it's all going backwards now people are gonna hate you
know grab talking about excite your daughter draws you a beautiful picture
you don't care about it cold-blooded what I'm gonna give her is a lot of
excitement I'm gonna match her excitement maybe even go one level
higher that's what I'm gonna give her so what am i acting I'm excited a little
bit though you think same thing same thing yeah
same thing yeah I know it's is it a form of manipulation mmm it might be a little
bit of form of information but again if you're doing it to help the individual
you're doing it to help the team then is it manipulation or is it leadership I
say of course it's leadership you're not manip manipulation is I'm
trying to fool you so you do things that I want you to do that you we're not
doing that it's not what we're running here