Do you ever take time to think and
wonder what other people are thinking
about you? It's kind of a normal thing to
do. I'm Kris Krohn and today on REITV,
we're going to be exploring what you can
do about that whether it's productive,
counterproductive, and how you can
ultimately step in your life where you
don't have to wait for other people to
improve of you.
Calling all people pleasers! Right, if
you're worrying about what people think
about you ultimately you are likely a
people pleaser. I got another word for
you, do not be offended. Unless you choose
to. You're a liar. You change actually who
you want to be so that you can conform
what others want you to be. And you know
what? Sometimes conforming is a really
good thing. Like in my church, there's
some things I conform to they are for my
betterment. But there's many other
opportunities and many other things in
life where we're frankly just being a
lie. We're not being true to who we are.
And that's because as people pleasers
like a mask, and mask that we have the
opportunity to take off. So how do you
stop living without needing and
requiring the validation of others? Is to
start by just learning this one simple
truth. As long as you live in a world
where you require the validation of
others, you will always put yourself in
powerless circumstances. Because you can
never get enough of what you don't need.
Because what you don't need can never
satisfy you. Ultimately the only person
that can validate you is who? It's you.
Validation from other people, it's, it's
never going to mean as much to you as you
hope it would because it feels you up
for just a second and then you know what
it does? Vanishes away. And then you need
more of it. And then you go fishing for
compliments and you want people to know
that they're okay with you that they're
happy with you. That's called being
insecure my friend. And trust me, I know
this is for somebody who's really hard
stuff to hear but I used to be one of
the most insecure human beings on the
planet. I was king people pleaser. I
thought that the purpose of my life was
to validate everyone else's existence so
that they could be nice to me because
the idea of living in this world without
someone liking me, it felt just as
painful as death. That's pretty extreme
but that's how I felt. That's how I felt
about it. How do you learn to validate
yourself? First of all just pause and
take inventory on what you're doing if
you just did a project and you feel good
about it, you can go ask the teacher, the
friend, the business partner, "how did i do?"
Right? you know come on feed that ego a
little bit. Instead just pause right now
and get yourself grounded with me close
your eyes, take a deep breath in.
And just ask this question, "where do you
need validation in your life?" is that how
you show up in your career? or how you
show up with a friend? where is that? and
instead of now waiting for them, what are
the words that you've been longing to
hear? and they're not going to come from
somebody else are going to come with me
"Kris good job"
"Good job for, how you
showed up for that person and chose to
serve them. You made a great choice there. Good work."
Right? When those words come from me
I've got the ability in any given moment
to acknowledge my greatness acknowledge
the choices that I'm making I'm also the
same person that gets to acknowledge
what I foul up and do it all wrong
upside down and backwards. Be that person
that can show up for you. It might be a
great idea for you people pleasers to
become ex people pleasers. Here's how you
do it, stop requiring the validation
of others. Say a little silent prayer every day.
Please God save me from the desire to
have approval of other people. And,
instead, take time every morning. What do
I get to feel validated on? and then give
that validation. Good job at the gym
today. You really worked hard to doing a
great job. Hey, way to go on losing those
two pounds.
Be that person. Because this
is that self-talk that ultimately we are
living in a world where everyone else is
our perception but there's only one
person that is absolutely one hundred
percent real to you.
And that starts with
you. Don't do it the other way around
where you're requiring everyone else to
show up in certain ways and say certain
things so that you can be okay with who
you are as a human being.
I hope you've enjoyed today's mindset
video. You know, the most important real
estate we own is the real estate between
our ears and when we get it set straight
just like the numbers on a deal, we're
able to create far more favorable
outcomes. So, you can certainly look
forward to seeing a lot more videos.
where, we're going to be talking about
the right kind of mindset that
cultivates a belief system in the world
of abundance that world that's going to
help deliver the results in things that
you're really looking for in life. Thanks
for joining today. Subscribe for more
videos and we'll see on the next one.