i feel like i'm lucky because i've had a really good life overall it's been fantastic but you
get the good with the bad and it's kind of like a roller coaster and then i grew up thinking
if i just get to this point things will be better you know you grow up in an abusive family and
uh go through hard times and then you just think if i make this much money i'll do this and then
you work really hard you make a significant amount of money money and
end up becoming depressed and then the financial crisis takes away from you to remove that
aspect of your life and then you are listening to abraham hicks on a beach walking in mexico
thinking i found peace and i'm just going to surrender and the following day your life falls
apart everything that you thought you wanted comes in not the good but also the fears and
you just got worn out that's what happens when you get tuned in you can feel the offness
and the question about what to do next is really extra active we'll listen to you more so at that
point i was just like i'm done it's time to be part of non-physical and and i just felt
the release and i just thought it's time for me to go and i woke up a couple days later in icu
uh after having tried to take my own life and i'm like i came in and manifest death
but the the good news is is that looking back it's it's all been a a blessing i i i found it
finally a place of contentment which i used to think was a swear word and i'm okay with that
and like i said i look back at my life and i'm just like this has been really wonderful and i
appreciate everything but now that i've found contentment i'm not sure where to go with that
i'm just i hate to ask a why or what's next i just i've been going with the flow and i've been
enjoying it but i i just you get a little nervous you may activate things from the past we're going
to have a really good conversation here and you're right at the point where you'll hear it easily
and we really appreciate the setup that you've given for this conversation and the activation
of the energies in the room around it and so this is going to be helpful to a lot of people and
especially to you so your description really accurate and good description
really very good with words describes how most people do live their lives
and by that we mean they react to life as it's coming so that it's a series of reactions and
it's a physical action-oriented doing the best you can given the circumstances that you're living in
sort of life now the underlying and important thing that was happening during all of that
that you weren't consciously aware of but that your inner being was is that with all those ups
and downs of reacting to life which caused you to want more and then the desire was stronger
for a while so things got better and then you weren't consistent enough in it and so
then it didn't happen the way you wanted it to so then you focused upon it not happening so
it got worse and so it was actually going in the direction of what your focus was but you weren't
really so aware that you were creating your own reality then and you weren't working in concert
with a steady guidance instead you were using as guidance reactions of others and other humans
they're a terrible gauge they're really fickle awful guidance to use because first of all they're
not that interested in you not as much as you'd like to believe that they are and next most of
them are not that stable either so it's just a bunch of bobbing quartz on a raging sea sort of
thing and then you get very philosophical about how your life's going and so not very satisfying
but the underlying thing that is happening during all of that is that you are launching rockets of
desire and the desire is i want to understand this i want to fulfill my reason for being i want to
hook up with that greater guidance things that you knew coming in life has now buffed you about
enough that you've launched those strong strong strong strong rockets and we want you to hear this
above anything that you ever hear ever ever ever ever again from us or anyone else this is
what we want you to hear the universe always hears what you mean not what you're saying
so your life caused you to offer a vibration which caused you to create a vortex
so the meaning that you were radiating to the universe was not i want out of this physical
experience the meaning that you were radiating was i want to understand it i want to flow
with it i want to be in the flow i want to fulfill my purpose i want to understand i want
to be deliberate i want to have steady control of my own life experience and so you did create that
just right because what you thought you wanted which was the bailing out of all the resistance
you didn't want out of life you wanted out of the resistance you see and so your intervene
even with all of that intentionality still helped you to accomplish what you really
want which is a stronger than ever zest for life and understanding about life is that helpful we
really want that to be helpful because for you to say i can't even kill myself well
it couldn't be a more bogus statement the statement that you want to make is my inner being
knows who i am and that will always be dominant and i wasn't as far gone from my inner being as
one might believe because here i am now with a new zest for life yes i appreciate that yeah thank you
so now fast forward to now and you heard all of that you got all of that we know you got all of
that so now what what's this moment in time about so i i feel like the weights off a bit uh so going
forward was we were ready to reveal to you a resistance lifting experience and you were ready
to receive it and did is that what just happened yeah and um and i feel like i just now i want
to do a little bit more of a fine-tuning going forward because i feel like i've just i've found a
good flow and i'm happy and i've got great things coming into my life but to be honest i'm okay with
whatever outcome is but then that's where it's hard to ask because am i okay in a relationship
or out of a relationship and then you want both equally how do you know oh it's too complicated
and you can't get there from there anyway so we're just going to take another approach of this we're
just going to give you a universal law principle that we haven't been talking about for very long
but that you're really ready to receive and when you get this one thing that we are going to convey
to you here in a really strong state of clarity you're going to get this and it's going to serve
you enormously well and all of that stuff that was going on just as you asked the question it's just
going to lift off of you too here it is oh we're out of time no here it is no here it is here it is
it isn't about anyone else which is hard to hear because they're everywhere and they seem
important to your life but it isn't about any of them or what they are doing
or your relationship with them it's only about your relationship with your own inner being
it's only about your vibration it's only about what's going on with your own energy within you
so when you get something from a situation or from a person that you don't like and you have a
reaction to it usually a negative reaction if you don't like it if you could say to yourself
there's only attraction there's only attraction there's only attraction there's only attraction
there is no assertion so nobody else asserted that not god not that person nobody has asserted
anything it's only attraction i attracted this well sometimes that's a really sucky thing to hear
from yourself about yourself because you don't want it and why would you attract something that
you don't want but start there it matters that you start there there's only attraction only
attraction only attraction only attraction there's no assertion only attraction only attraction
only attraction so here esther just had this epiphany really recently here's the thing that
we really want you to hear you know why that's so surprising and maybe even concerning to you
because you thought you had more control over your life and others with your words then you
do with your action than you do it's attraction attraction attraction attraction attraction
its vibration vibration vibration vibration vibration doesn't matter what your words are
it's what you're feeling about something and what causes the confusion every bit of that
confusion that you were introducing into the conversation here is because you say things
and therefore you think you believe those things because you've been saying them for a long time
but the universe responds to you what you're offering vibrationally that's why you didn't die
your words were about that your action even was about that but your vibration was something very
different from that oh you're gonna find such clarity and freedom when you finally own up
esther had an experience with someone that she has a big reason to care about
where her steady words for a long period of time were as if they didn't exist at all
and esther had to realize oh my god i've got a vibration going that is different from my
words and that's why i'm getting this and the contradiction that was going on in esther's
mind is no that's not what i believe because that's not what i say doesn't matter what you
say what you say is rarely in harmony with what you believe the universe does not respond to what
you say the universe responds to your vibration and your vibration is what's real you see your
vibration is your realness and so don't ask the universe to respond to you differently
than what you are offering vibrationally which means you gotta own it you gotta own it and
sometimes it's a little shocking when you say i'm saying i love you but i really resent you
i'm saying i'm proud of you but i really think you could be doing so much better
i say i want to be with you forever but really i don't care if i ever see you
again right now because i am so mad at you so you've got yourself all confused because
what you're offering vibrationally and therefore what the universe is delivering to you don't jive
and then you want to blame it on all of them and read all the books about all the behaviors
and all of the patterns and all of the studies and all of the stuff that just keeps you in a
constant state of upheaval when all it ever really comes down to is you're not owning how you feel
sometimes what you feel is the right thing sometimes that is an [ __ ]
and so for you to try to make yourself the wrong one because you want to be spiritual
so you want to own how you feel now here's where it gets clear your inner being does not
feel that way about them you do you don't want to feel that way about them but you do you got
some alignment to do with your inner being that doesn't have anything to do with them the bottom
line is you're a lover and just because they're not lovable doesn't mean that you are not a lover
so you don't do this to control the behavior of others you do it to come in alignment with who
you are you gotta love you gotta love you gotta love you you gotta love the others
you gotta trust you gotta trust you you gotta trust the universal forces
is this a little bit helpful can you sort of get where we're going with this
let's just recap because again we're over the segment you are offering a vibration
that often you don't want to own or admit because it doesn't fit in with the patterns
that you've decided are the appropriate behavior for whatever whatever whatever whatever and so
it's a constant awareness and alignment process of figuring out what your inner being is thinking
right now right here about this because your inner being is always right on your inner being walked
every step with you your inner being experienced every beating you experienced your inner being
knows all the people you ever do your inner being knows all those ups and downs that you lived your
inner being knows what you launched the rockets of desires every single one of them and your
inner being rode the rocket every single time and took the evolution that your life produced for you
your inner being just got there first so your inner being stands in this attitude of
enormous appreciation of the life that you've lived and the expansion that you've caused
and holds that vibration so steady that you can't miss it and when you use words to deceive yourself
of what you're really feeling you can't get back on track did you hear what we just said
if you're pretending through your words in action that you mean something different than
you really do then you're not ever going to sort it out there's two ways to know
what your vibrational offering is one is what's coming back to you and the other is how you feel