Hey, Guys! So... Happy Christmas Eve
eve eve eve
Um... I'm gonna open my
advent calendar
Four sleeps to go
And it is a...
Christmas pudding!!!
*Om nom nom nom*
See, I wanted to tell you about something that sounds pretty exciting for you guys
The makers of the film 'Chronicle'
are asking YouTubers
'What are you capable of?'
And I thought I'd get involved too
All you have to do is post a video response
to this video answering the question
'What are you capable of?'
And the big film chiefs are gonna make
a short film with all the best entries
which is pretty cool
So I was thinking
what am I capable of
and I decided to test myself
by doing something life changing
and world altering and brilliant
Am I capable of...
BAKING
*duuun*
*taaa daaa* *Phil almost falls*
P: I fell over again
D: Pikachu is itchyy *kills phandom*
P: Pikaa
P: So today we are making Christmas cookies
D: And whose recipe are we following?
P: Have a guess?
D: DELIA SMITH
P: YEAH!!!1! Here she is flying into the kitchen now
P: Oh, Delia OH DELIA *look at Dan's face*
P: I'm a bit excited
I've never baked anything before
So this is my first time
D: So you could say that Delia's gonna take your baking virginity?
P: (thoughtful) You could say that *but don't though*
D: Oh, Delia
P: So for this recipe you will need:
225 g of plain flour
D:Fresh from the hairdryer *Dan played a prank on Phil and put flour on his hairdryer, in case you didn't know*
P: Not again *Dan's smol laugh*
P: 110 g of caster sugar *with an american accent* D: Caster sugar
P: 110 g of cold butter, chopped
1 medium dinosaur egg D: CHICKEN FETUS
P: Icing materials
Baking paper
And a mixing bowl
Food colourings (optional)
A broken mixing device D: Thanks Tesco *irony detected*
P: Firstly, preheat the oven to 180°C
D: But get an adult to help you if you're 8
P: Also that's 350° F
I know things!!
*weird noises by Dan*
So Delia suggests we use a food mixer, but we don't have one
so we're using a broken whisk
Oh, my God... That's scary
*smol scream*
And also a wooden spoon
D: Pure man power
P: Dan, that's terrifying
Pour all 225 g of flour into your bowl (he already has flour all over his face)
Add your 110 g of sugaar
Chop up 110 g of butter
Noooo!!!! Now I'll never be the prince of the butter kingdom
*butter dying noises*
D: The signs of a psycopath waiting to happen
Globula *wtf Dan??*
P: You wanna mix all these together until they resemble fine bread crumbs
Though I've got no idea how this is gonna work with a wooden spoon
*smol laugh*
Um... But let's go for it D: YEAH
Four hundred and ten hours later
I take inspiration from Disney
How do you pass time?? P: How?
D: By singing a song
Left to right Right to left
Everybody is whisking up and down
P: Back and forth Up and down
Everybody is whisking Delia Smith's face
D: OH MY GOD WHEN WILL IT END?
WHEN WILL IT END??
*smol scream*
D: The broken whisk of Cazacdoom (I think that's how you write it...)
P: Yeah, this is doing loads
D: The fork of justice sailing through the night
P: Don't stab me in the hand
Bread crumbs, bread crumbs everywhere
Everyone is eating bears (??)
D: Is this baking video gonna unintentionally turn into a full length album??
P: I think so
P: Oops *smol scream* D: PHIL
P: Sorry!! Don't do that
At this point you should have a delicious smell coming out of the bowl
D: Although we've already added the flour, so it's past the point of tastiness
And four hundred and fifteen hours later
*look at Philly's face SO CUTE*
P: We has bread crumbs!!1!
D: Delia you're the one for me... What??
P: Once you have the bread crumbs
crack an egg into the bowl
D: There we go P: eeg
D: Be (Phil almost drops the egg) $%##¨&#¨%#¨@$%$@ P: Sorry
I didn't drop it though
D: Stop it, won't... Buttery hands! Stop, stop. Phil
P: That was perfect
D: No eggshell
P: Add a teaspoon of water
Now you have to mix it until it becomes a ball
D: Really? P: Yeah
I'm guessing it's meant to be like a football
D: Ballbasaur (see what I did there??)
Congaeling all the stuff
Egg, egg, egg It's the king of all yolks
Is Delia some like epic robotron or something??
How does she do this?? P: I think she is
She is the 'Delianator'
After stirring it for a while, you can use your hands to make your baall *Dan's face omg*
D: It's a breakfast bar stool It's a breakfast bar stool
P: I don't think this is gonna make out into the album, Dan
D: Nooo... A Japan exclusive bonus track?? P: Yes
D: Yees
P: Flouring the surface
So get your ball nice and floury
*smol scream*
I thought you were gonna hit me in head like a psychopath
D: I did, but the camera's rolling *wow, Dannyul*
P: Okay, so get your ball nice and floury
so it's not sticky anymore
and you can throw it around like this
like a pizza!!1!
So now, if you want colours, you want to separate the mixture into different sections
This'll be our green section
P: I've done this slightly wrong
and you're probably meant to add the food colouring at the same time as the egg
but let's just add it anyway D: Let's just get permanently green hands
D: ooppss, oh God
P:Okay
Now it's time to roll it at a neat flat surface
D: DIEE DIEEEE P: They have feelings!!1!! They have feelingss!!!
Roll it until it's got the thickness of a 1 pound coin
For americans, that's about three ants on top of each other
Would you say?? D: Um.. Yep
Like, about that thick
D: This section would be a lot better if I had cleavage
P: Lightly grease your baking tray
D: Grease? (Yeah) You mean lubricate
*how to sexily lubricate your baking tray*
We made Australia
P: Now cut them into any size you want
It's preferable if you've got a cookie cutter
but we just have a giant knife
P: Add your cookies to the baking tray
What is that gonna be??
D: You'll find out
So on tray one we havee:
A llama, a mistery, a cracker,
a ball, a fail whale, a snowflake
a... (star thing) star thing? A P and a catterpillar
P: And on tray two we have
A lion face, a snowman, a D
an Earth, a house, an... What is that??
D: I don't know
P: A... thing And a tree! And a gnome
Now put them in the oven
one on the top shelf, one on the middle shelf *hey, Dan*
for ten to fifteen minutes
then swap them around halfway through
about the seven minute mark
There you go, my babies
*what did you say, Dan?*
*Dan's pants are lower than my self-esteem*
P: I just realized our windows are open
the whole neighbourhood can see us D: OH, God
P: It's not advisable to make these cookies in your favorite jeans
*ta daa*
P: They're ready!!1! Oh, they look really good
They kind of slightly over cooked
but they still look tasty
I think it's time to decorate them
Daan, come look
D: Oh, they turned out so much better than I thought they'd do
P: Your fail whale looks awesome
D: I know, right??
P: Oh, that's good
D: I thought they were all gonna be disasters
P: Yeah. I like my snowman, as well
D: But, c'mon though... Who actually thought that my llama would turn out okay?
Look at it
P: Planet Earth
D: Catterbiscuit
P: It's time to commence the decorating D: Yeeaahh
D: It's like the Sistine Chapel, but better
P: I'm quite proud of our creation
D: I am too
I was honestly expecting them to be a lot more of a disaster
But they're actually quite fit
P: Yeah. So it turns out I am capable of making cookies
Almost hit my head on the ceiling
D: Well, don't you want to know what the mistery cookie is??
P: Yeah, What is that?
D: So what do you think it is, Phil?
P: Um... a spaghetti bolognese?
D: It is... a placenta
P: Nooo
D: A placenta cookie, of course P: Oh, no
P: You can eat that one, Dan
D: I will
P: Weirdly, that looks like the tastiest cookie as well
How many Christmas is out of ten?
D: Twelve
P: Do you want me to leave in a room with it?
P:So, yeah, cookies aside...
D: Pretty good, yeah?
That's right
Delia knows how to hit the spot
P: Cookies aside, I wanted to tell you about our radio show
*smol screams*
P: Me and Dan have been given a two hour radio show
On BBC Radio 1 on Christmas Day
D: Yep. And this won't just be a radio show
Will it, Phil?? P: No
D: It's going to be two hours of video
P: On the Radio 1 website
It's on Christmas day between 10 and 12 pm
So we're not gonna interrupt anything important
You'll have finished your dinner, you'll be like:
Aaahh, time to watch Phil and Dan for two hours
It's gonna be the best
Dan, you can leave now
*multiple attemps of landing the bear on his head*
P: YAY
D: These aren't just normal Christmas cookies
These are freaking DELIA SMITH Christmas cookies
*christmasy music*
D: The minute you walked in the joint aand... P: Um... Dan?