Aww! You look fantastic.
Well, thank you very much.
You know, today I was looking over,
cause we weren't talking about Chicago,
but I was looking over all the films
that you've done in the past.
And we're looking over all the different credits,
and one stuck out, which is Jingle All The Way.
You were in the movie, Jingle All The Way.
And we have, it sticks out in my mind
because we have a little Arnold character that comes on
and he's constantly plugging Jingle All The Way,
all these years later.
And so it stuck out and I was curious,
like, you worked with Arnold in that classic film.
Tell us about that. What was it like?
Well, you know,
it's right up there with the Wizard of Oz, or Mary Poppins
or, you know, what's the other one, the Wonderful Life.
Sure.
Yeah, Christmas classic.
It's one of those movies that I did it,
and I was trying to talk to the director
about the reality of the character,
and I thought, so let me get this straight.
Because there's a scene at the end.
It's kind of hard to, it's hard to buy,
the scene at the end.
It's hard to buy the scene.
And it's this, that the character, my character,
is looking at her husband, who's in the Turbo Man costume.
Right.
And it's red, but half of his face is showing,
and he happens to be to be talking like this.
Right.
But I don't recognize that it's my husband.
Yeah. Yeah. You're married.
It's funny. It's great.
It's this great scene where you're married
to Arnold Schwarzenegger
and then at the end of the movie,
it's just him wearing kind of a mask up here
and saying "That's right little boy,
"I'll help you do this thing."
and then you were just talking to him like, yeah.
And then he takes off the top,
and you're like, "oh my God, it's my husband."
Like I had no idea. Who knew?
Yeah. Yeah.
And then it's like really sad
because the clip is sort of like,
"Howard? Howard!"
Like I liked the red costume.
It's kinky. It's a sexy suit. I bought it.
I'm really into Arnold
but he must be, he must be a fun guy to work with anyway.
Great guy, great guy. Love him. He's a blast.
My favorite Arnold story ever is,
this is a true story.
My wife and I went on our honeymoon
and we're at this like little resort in Mexico.
And like 10 minutes after we get there,
we're just sitting by the pool.
Arnold shows up and he's with his little kids
and his kids are doing all the stuff that, that,
that kids do around their parents
they're like jumping in the pool and making noise.
And Arnold is running around
with a little basket of pool toys.
"No, stop it. No you stop it over there.
"Cut it out. Quit it you guys. Stop it."
It was just great to see him
completely reduced to, like, out of control.
I'm used to seeing him blowing people away.
Now it's like, "I can't stop these little kids."
That is so funny.
I don't know if I told you this story before,
but there was a,
our kids went to the same preschool together for a while
and he was outside and I was looking at him from afar.
And I was like, how sweet is he?
He was talking to his child in the car and I just thought,
that's so lovely.
And finally, after a few minutes, they came out and I said,
"what kind of conversation?"
We're talking three-year-olds.
What were you saying to your children?
They were in the car and so happy.
And he says,
"I was teaching them how to talk to 10. How to say to."
What is that? I can't even say it.
I was asking him how to count to 10 in German.
So you could see them like going, "Ein, zwei, drei."
Kid's like, "Daddy, I don't know."
You will count to 10 now.
(Conan shouting in German)
(audience clapping)
Yeah, he's intense.
What a dad he would be.
I have to ask you about this.
You did something recently.
And I envy you, you spent some time in France,
and you got to write about it.
Was it for Harper's?
It was for Harper's Bazaar. I did a little article.
It was about spending the summer in France.
And if you're spending a long period of time there,
you sort of go, "okay, I'm going to be really cool.
"I'm going to go to France and pretend I'm French."
And I totally failed miserably.
Like I thought I was going to look like a French chick.
You thought you could blend in and be a French woman?
Yeah. But I can't, I can't.
Even the way French women stand is cool.
Like, they shouldn't just stand there like this, like.
Right.
And you kind of like,
they could do even the most of obnoxious thing,
like burp, and it would still look cool.
Like, "yes, I would like a croissant"
(Rita making burping noise)
And it's like it works. I don't know.
It's sexy. They make everything sexy. Yeah.
I've always wanted to live in a, you know,
when I get a vacation on this show,
it's always like a couple of days.
It's never long enough to sort of lose yourself
in the culture.
You could probably just almost sort of
think that you're a French person
if you were there for long enough.
Yeah, you can. That was the idea.
But I just failed at it miserably.
I was like jeans and tennis shoes and, you know,
try to look really cool.
Right, right. It just wasn't happening.
No, no.