So I see that you have some family here.
Who's over here?
Oh, my goodness.
This is my son, Henry.
Hello.
His cousin, Lily, my niece, Jessica, and my nephew, Percy.
And they are visiting from England.
[APPLAUSE]
That's great.
It's great they are good fans and we couldn't get them seats.
So--
[LAUGHTER]
--just squished them over to the side.
Thanks a lot.
[LAUGHTER]
So-- so I know you a little bit.
I know you're a good person.
And I assume you're a good mom.
Is she a good mom?
So so.
Oh, so so.
[LAUGHTER]
All right.
Henry!
No, she's an amazing mom.
Yeah.
No, I would think she's a good mom.
But the only thing I do know about you
is you enjoy a good curse word.
[CLEARS THROAT] Yes, I do swear like a sailor.
Yeah.
So I don't know that it's only sailors.
There's a lot of people that swear.
[LAUGHTER]
But we-- sailors get such a bad rap.
A bad rap.
Yeah.
But-- so you have-- you have a swear jar at home?
Yeah.
We-- we--
Henry actually invented the swear jar
because he was sick of my swearing
and also felt that he could make some easy cash.
Yeah.
So--
Smart, Henry.
Really smart.
So how much goes in?
Is it-- is it the-- the severity of the word?
Or is it like some words are worth more?
Or--
Yes.
Yeah.
The F word was worth $5.
Wow.
The S word, the A word, the D word, all $1 words.
$1 words.
[LAUGHTER]
And then like your regular damn and--
Well, gee, I thought the D word was damn.
I don't know--
[LAUGHTER]
Now I'm trying to think what the D word was.
It's more male centric, that word.
Oh, well, that should be five.
That should-- make--
up that one to five, Henry.
[LAUGHTER]
So, I mean, there's probably-- there's some really cool stuff
in the Ellen Shop.
So I'm going to raise some money for you right now.
So after the show you can go shop.
Have at it.
Go ahead.
Buggering [BLEEP] bags, why can I not bollocking
well stop swearing?
I'm such a [BLEEP] idiot.
And it's also mostly British swearing,
so you probably don't understand it.
[LAUGHTER]
That's not [BLEEP] dammit!
No!
[SCREAMS]
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
That's another $10!
That's another $10, thank you.
Yeah.
I'm going to round that up.
That's got to be $30, right?
[LAUGHTER]
So I saw a picture of you today in the meeting
of-- how old are you in this picture you posted?
Oh.
[LAUGHTER]
I was-- I was 12.
First of all, Henry, you look just like.
[LAUGHTER]
That's what she always says.
You do.
You really do.
You were 12.
You look very solemn there.
Were you sad?
Or--
Yeah.
Because look at my hair.
[LAUGHTER]
That's fantastic hair.
Did you not like that hair?
At the time, you have to remember
that this is in the '80s.
And the only people that looked like me
were like in hair bands.
So I was called Slash at school, which
you think would be cool but it wasn't because I
was a little girl.
No one looked like me.
And then the following year, Flashdance came out.
And I truly believed that I looked a bit like Jennifer
Beals, and obviously then wanted to be a welder and date
a man who was 100 years older than me.
[LAUGHTER]
Did you try any of those things?
No.
No, I didn't.
I did become a bit of a dancer though.
Yeah.
So-- and you're an American citizen now?
I'm an American citizen.
Yes.
As of when?
I am.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
Ah, thank you.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
Yes.
So December of last year.
I became an American citizen.
It was very moving, amazing.
I was sworn in by the most incredible female judge,
who gave a rousing speech.
It was-- it was really-- oh, there's
a picture of me and my mum.
My mum cried because I had to forswear the queen.
[LAUGHTER]
It was-- it was-- it was really incredible.
And I've-- I voted for the first time.
Yay.
It was incredibly exciting.
Yes, important.
[APPLAUSE]
That was amazing.
And yeah, I like being--
I like being an American with a British accent.
And what has changed about now that you're a citizen?
Well, I love the Dodgers.
I've learned to love baseball.
And being a soccer fan, I'm a--
I'm a Chelsea fan.
[AUDIENCE HOOTS]
Thank you.
Just the one then.
[LAUGHTER]
But I've learned to love baseball.
It took a minute.
I went to-- just before I became a citizen,
I saw the Dodgers play the Diamondbacks in one
of the most amazing games ever.
[LIGHT APPLAUSE]
Yes.
Another one.
It's the same person, like Chelsea and the Dodgers.
Just the one?
And Matt Kemp--
Matt Kemp hit a three run homer that--
that had the stadium erupt.
And I've never--
I've never seen a stadium erupt.
And I felt so glad that I could celebrate as an American.
Oh, well, good for you.
That is great.
Yeah.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
Let's talk about Speechless because this is--
the finale is coming up, right?
The finale is coming out of third season.
And it is-- it's great.
It's a bit of a tearjerker.
Mhm.
This episode that's on Friday is the set up for what--
for what happens.
And the thing about the show that is good
is that I feel like we earn the emotional moments in the show.
And that this kind of self-aware narcissist
that I play on the show can also be a deeply loving mother.
And there was a scene that I have
with Michael Fowler that was one of the great moments I
had on the show.
And the editors, who never generally come out
of the editing bay, did say that it made them cry.
Oh, that's--
So that's good.
Yeah, that is great.
I mean, it's beautiful to make grown man cry.
Yes, it is.
And it's also funny.
It's funny, and-- and emotional, so that's--
I didn't laugh at him, but later--
Yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
All right.
Speechless airs Friday nights at 8:30 on ABC.
We will be right back.
Minnie Driver.
[APPLAUSE]