I was never all that comfortable with the whole “Touch Generation” thing.
It just wasn’t a very comfortable thing to say, you know?
“Touch Generation.”
“Touching is good.”
Well, not always, no it isn’t.
But the phrasing aside, I was down with the approach.
The Nintendo DS was the perfect system, in that…it was great for hardcore gamers, who
play a million games.
But it was also great for people who never play games.
Now, they were playing lots of games.
Specifically…games like TouchMaster.
Ah, phrasing.
Now, TouchMaster wasn’t technically one of the Touch Generations games, but it was
in the same spirit.
This was a very simple collection, of very simple games, with very simple controls.
Specifically, touch controls.
Each of its 23 games are played entirely with the stylus.
Which is exactly what made the DS so accessible.
No need for complicated controls, and a dozen buttons, with a dozen different functions…all
you did, was touch.
In that case, touching was good, but you have to be specific, Nintendo.
Of course, TouchMaster’s dirty little secret…actually, I don’t want to know any secrets, from someone
called the TouchMaster.
Anyway, the truth is, these games weren’t really new.
These are actually a lot of the same coin-operated games Midway had in bars and pubs all over
the world.
It’s not like they were designed for the DS, they were just waiting for the DS.
To get ‘em out of the bar.
Some people need a sponsor, Hot Hoops needed a stylus.
Now, the thing is…I mean, think about it.
A game designed specifically to be played by people sitting at a bar, and doing some
combination of waiting for their drink, flirting with their bartender and ruining their lives…like,
chances are, that’s not a great game.
Quality might not have been the driving factor, in its development.
So obviously, it’s kind of a mixed bag with the games in TouchMaster.
Some of them are good, some of them are kind of crappy…
But most of them are just…somewhere in the middle.
Maybe the TouchMaster is Malcolm.
‘Cause he’s mostly in the middle.
So the games are split into a couple categories.
You have card games, which are…you know, card games.
Then there are puzzle games, and skill games…so there’s actually a decent variety of games
here.
Even if the games don’t have much variety.
Okay, that doesn’t make any sense.
Point is, these are simple, shallow games…so the draw is the amount of games.
None of them are gonna hold your attention very long, except for maybe the card games.
Otherwise, they’re short games for short play.
Which makes them great portable games.
I said “games,” like, a dozen times just then.
And speaking of games…uh, I actually had the most fun with the card games and the puzzle
games.
Some of the action and skill games don’t quite work as well.
They get a little too cute for their own good, at times.
But I had fun with solitaire.
‘Cause apparently, I’m an old guy.
But the game’s biggest problem is the presentation.
I mean, it is impressively generic.
Awful sound, barely any music…and just awful aesthetic design.
The DS Lite was such an elegant piece of hardware.
TouchMaster is the furthest thing from elegant.
And everything’s really small, too.
Especially the numbers on the cards.
And this is supposed to be for casual gamers. Old people.
Small numbers are problem for old people.
Of course, part of those presentation problems come from the fact that Midway didn’t really
change these games from their barroom versions.
That’s why everything looks squished down on these smaller screens.
And this might be nitpicking, but it’s the same thing with the controls.
The whole game is tapping, as opposed to sliding and grabbing and all the other inputs you
could do on the DS.
And at times, that feels a little weird, a little counterintuitive.
And another thing is…it had online multiplayer, which is cool, but your local wireless options
are limited to multi-cartridge play.
Which sucks, a game like this would be perfect for single-cartridge play.
And with games this simple, it should have it, too.
TouchMaster wasn't a bad game, but…it’s a game that was hard to get excited about.
Then, now, whenever.
It was a touch game…but it wasn’t doing anything new with touch.
It was just a bunch of old touch games, ranging in quality from crap to, “Hey, this is a
fun distraction.
This is something I could do if I literally had no other options of things to do.”
High praise, if you ask me.
And a huge thanks to our friend Salvatore from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, for sending
us this game.
We really enjoyed touching it, Salvatore.
I mean, I don’t want speak for anyone else, but it certainly left me satisfied.
It’s TouchMaster for the Nintendo DS.
Phrasing!