In this video, we're going to look at how to create positive relationships, especially
in professional settings. Let's unpack it.
CS Lewis the famous writer once said
that friendship is unnecessary. Like philosophy, like art, it has no survival
value. Rather, it is one of those things that gives value to survival. In this
video, we're going to talk about creating positive relationships, especially in
professional settings. There are a lot of benefits to creating more positive
relationships. First of all, when you're positive with other people it tends to
enhance the overall atmosphere for everybody.
Second benefit is it is contagious. Research shows than when you treat other
people this way, they tend to reciprocate and treat you in a friendly way back. So
it increases the benefits for everybody. And lastly one of the awesome benefits
for leaders is that when people like them and get along with them they're
willing to go farther for you to get the job done. It's called referent power. So
you increase your positive influence just by creating positive relationships
with other people. So the bottom line of this video is that you can create more
positive relationships through friendliness and likeability with the
people around you. And I'm going to give you three tips to help you move in that direction.
The first tip is the foundation for everything else that we
talked about in this video. And that is you want to take a genuine interest in
other people. I know that nowadays this is not the most popular way to handle
interactions and relationships because we're all so self focused and we're all
consumed with everything that we have to get done. But you'll probably notice that
the people who really touch you the most and who really reach out to you the most
take a genuine interest in your life. When we are only focused on ourselves, we
don't tend to connect well with other people. And so what you want to do is
first of all in your mind say I'm just going to take an interest in this person
right now. Make it all about them. For a little while ask them questions
about their work. Ask questions about their lives outside of work. Ask them
questions about where they're from. People love talking about where they
grew up and this is how you can do this. Begin to take an interest in other
people and watch what happens to your relationships.
Tip number two is be easy
to get along with. Now I know a lot of high maintenance people. They're fussy
and controlling about things and let's hope that's not you. But if it's you, make
sure you are easier to get along with than you used to be. It really helps in a
lot of ways. For example, if you have a tone of approachability so when people
come to you you're patient, you're kind, you're generous and attentive with your
time. That's easy to get along with, that approachability. You also don't want
to be high-maintenance. You want to be low maintenance. High maintenance people
get very fussy about things. they have a lot of particulars that they insist upon
and you don't want to be like that. When change comes your way, do your best to go
with the flow, to be flexible, to be easy to get along with. You don't want to be
high-maintenance. You want to be low-maintenance.
And the third tip is to
be generous with your encouragement. You know, words of encouragement that's one
of the five love languages .And when you're pointing out specific things
about what people are good at around you, what you appreciate about them, it really
can reach into their hearts and develop a bond between you both because it's one
of the most precious things to us is when people are encouraging. I don't know
about you but I have literally gone years in certain work situations where I
got almost no encouragement from the work people around me. There are many
toxic workplaces out there and if you're in one of these you can be a positive
force for change by beginning to encourage what you see in other people. I
use these three tips every day at work. As some of you may know, I am a college
teacher and when I am in the classroom even though I'm there to teach and they
have perform well to earn good grades, I know
that positive relationships in the classroom create a better atmosphere for
everybody and it helps the students work harder. So when I get there right from
the beginning, I take an interest in their lives. I'm approachable and easy to get
along with. I give them lots of encouragement and as a result we're not
just, we don't just benefit from having a wonderful atmosphere. We also benefit
because those students are much more willing to work harder in my class. My
classes are challenging but they will go the distance and they will rise to that
level of high expectation because they know I care about them. I've showed that
I care about them. When people know that you are for them, they are going to go
further for you. That is the bottom line and that is one of the best things about
establishing positive relationships in addition to the benefit of relationships
in general. Now if you're in a professional setting, you're a supervisor
of some sort, this does not mean you have to be friends outside of work and spend
a ton of social time with people outside of the boundaries of work. I don't hang
out with my students on the weekends, for example and I know many supervisors want
to keep a boundary between work and private life and that's completely
appropriate and I support that 100%. Other people are a little more flexible with
those boundaries, which can also work. But, when you're at work, when you're face to
face with people, the key is to build those positive relationships when you
can and you'll see that you don't really have to spend all that much time outside
of work to bond with them. So in summary, you can create more positive
relationships with people through friendliness and likeability by using
these three tips. Your homework is very simple. I want you to think of one
specific person. In fact, I want you to think of that person right now. I have
somebody in mind. And I want you to take one or more of these tips that we've
talked about in this video and apply it in that next conversation that you have
with that person. And then watch what happens to that relationship over time
as you continue to do this. I'd like to finish with a quotation from the great
Mother Teresa. She said kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes
are truly endless. Thanks I'll see you in the next video. I hope that you found that
lesson on creating positive relationships helpful. We're getting
toward the end of a five-part mini course in essential professional
communication skills. I'll put a link to all five lessons in the description
below this video as well as to the downloadable PDF quick guide that
summarizes all the tips for you in one place and links to all those videos so
you can get right to them if you would like to. So let's get into the next video
on collaborative problem-solving.