You want to know
More importantly, how you can use them to win.
I'm going to give it all to you in this video.
So, stay tuned.
Hey, I'm Rebecca's Zung.
I'm an attorney, an author and a narcissist and negotiation expert.
I teach people how to negotiate and specifically
how to manage, deal with and turn the tables on people who
have toxic personalities, difficult personalities.
If that's you,
if you want to be the most persuasive person in the room,
then just hit subscribe and hit that notification bell,
then I will let you know when new videos get uploaded.
Let's talk about Warren Buffett top negotiating secret.
So, I did some research. I was looking into this,
because I love to know how these top people,
the people who are really good at it,
the people who are really successful at negotiating,
do it and what is it that they do,
What he words that come out of their mouth
that tell you what their negotiation secrets are so
that you can use them and employ them to winning
especially when you're dealing with a high conflict
or a difficult personality,
because when you're dealing with a reasonable person,
both sides want to come to some kind of resolution, right?
I mean, you wouldn't be in conversation with each other
If you didn't want to come to some sort of resolution.
Most of the time, when you're dealing with reasonable people,
there's some kind of something that
they want to see as far as value, that will satisfy them,
so that when they walk away they feel like
they're getting something out of the deal and
that's how deals end up being made,
and that's how deals end up sticking, and
they don't have problems down the road.
In my book, “Negotiate like you M.A.T.T.E.R.”,
I actually talked about that and the reason why
I call it “Negotiate like you M.A.T.T.E.R.”
is because every human being wants
to feel seen, heard, and know that they matter.
That's just part of a being human being.
As far as becoming more and more narcissistic,
I see it as a spectrum,
you get all the way to the end and
it's a person who has no sense of value
for anybody else other than themselves.
No sense of empathy. No sense of care.
All that sort of thing.
I think sometimes people can just
have narcissistic traits or tendencies that
maybe they're not actually a diagnosed actual narcissists.
But you know what?, the way I look at it is like,
Who really cares?
because if they're difficult and toxic and
they cause drama, trauma and chaos in your life,
it doesn't matter if they've been actually diagnosed,
they could just like be a jackass, right?
But, you still have to deal with them in sort of the same way.
I did some research and I found out what
some of Warren Buffett's number one advice was and
I'm going to tell you what some of the points are and
by the end of this video, you're going to have
3 really top tips.
I'm going to give you the tip, and then, I'm going
to tell you how it'll work for you in your negotiations.
I cannot stress this enough,
you've got to do your research
on both sides of the equation, not just yours, but theirs.
You want to know, if you're standing in their shoes,
what are they going to argue?
What is going to be their evidence?
What are they going to be presenting,
even if it's not a court case,
even if it's just a regular negotiation.
For example, the more you know about
their financial situation, better off you'll be.
So, how do they make their money?
How do they spend their money?
The overall status of whatever their financial situation is.
You also want to know what their beliefs are and
sometimes you can do some really good recon
by looking at people's social media,
it'll tell you what's important to them.
What kinds of things are they posting?
What kinds of places do they go?
What kind of travel do they do?
What kind of people are they hanging out with?
what are their positions on things?
All of those things are really, really good to know.
You also want to know why the other person
wants to have a conversation with you.
What is it that they want from you?
Being able to understand that, will help you tremendously
in creating your strategy, creating your leverage.
In my SLAY program, I talked about this.
It stands for strategy, leverage, anticipating with the narcissists,
or to what the other person is going to do,
being two steps ahead of them and
focusing on you, in your case and in your position.
But, understanding what it is that is driving them
is going to be really, really important.
Remember, the person who wants the agreement more,
who is more pushing for the negotiation,
who wants to get it done, has less leverage than the person
who's like, “I don't really care, I can walk away at any moment”.
So, just be really careful about that and
also be careful about kind of having blinders on
when you go into the negotiations,
you want to keep yourself open and
seeing what's going on and assessing the situation.
If you are too narrow-minded and
going into negotiations, you are going to,
number 1, close yourself to possibilities, and
also open yourself to risk.
So, you want to be very hyper aware of what's going on
when you're actually having that conversation and
that way, you can make sure that you are guiding
the process throughout the conversation with them.
If you are following me so far and,
you understand what it is that I'm saying;
I'm basically saying, you need to know your enemy
This is another one of Warren’s special tips, but
it is so true and sometimes, you got to really know
when it's a good time to present your leverage,
when is it a good time to actually sit down and
have a conversation with the other side and
maybe you don't even want to tackle
the entire negotiation in one sitting, maybe you say,
Today we're only going to handle this particular issue, and
sometimes you actually get more momentum that way.
So, being able to focus on exactly what it is that
you're doing and being fully prepared for that,
that will help tremendously as well.
Even when you can't stand the other person,
even if the sight of them just makes you want to vomit,
you are in a negotiation with this person,
that means that you want something from them and
that means that there's some reason why
you have to be having a conversation with them.
So, developing a rapport will be really important for you
because people want to deal with people
that they're having good conversation with.
So, part of the way that you can do that is
tackle the hard issue second,
start with areas where you might agree, and then
work toward the more contested areas,
that way, you feel like you're getting some momentum,
you feel like you're getting somewhere…
Having strong body language, feeling confident,
using the other person's name, looking them in the eye…
All of those are ways that
you can develop a really strong rapport,
as well, I have more on this in the video on
“The best negotiation advice Oprah ever got”.
You should definitely check out that video too.
If you are negotiating,
grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet,
at winmynegotiation.com.
I have a lot of this actually in that.
It’s basically an e-book, it's 15 pages.
A lot of this is actually in there.
Join my free private Facebook group
“Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
I would love to see you in there.
If you like this video,
give it a like, share it out, drop me that comment,
tell me, “know your enemy” or whatever else it is you're thinking.
Make sure that you subscribe and you hit that notification bell.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
Remember today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I will see you in the next video!