What should you do if you want your ex back, but it seems like they’re losing interest in you?
Maybe they’re backing away or growing cold… maybe you feel like your chances are getting slimmer
and slimmer by the day…. If that describes your situation, keep watching, because I’ll explain
what to do in order to turn things around and start winning back your ex for good.
I’m Brad Browning, YouTube’s #1 breakup coach since 2013, and author of the best-selling Ex
Factor program. If you want to see my full free tutorial on how to get your ex back,
visit BreakupBrad.com as soon as this video is over.
Now, if it feels like your ex is losing interest… don’t panic,
this is actually a really common situation for many of my coaching clients. You use
the strategies I talk about in my program and my videos, you start to see results and your
ex gets friendlier and more interested in you... everything is looking good…
and then you hit a brick wall. Your ex stops texting back, stops telling you they miss you,
cancels plans with you…. It can be pretty disheartening feeling, especially if you had
made lots of progress and were well on your way to getting back together before he or she went cold.
The real danger here though is actually what most people tend to do in response to this kind of
desperate-feeling situation. The natural instinct, which is to panic and try to
take action to stop their ex from slipping away, is guaranteed to make things worse.
No matter how hard you may want to tighten your grip on things, the only way to fix
your situation is to give your ex time and space. Essentially, you need to do nothing.
The last thing you want to do if your ex suddenly seems to be backing away or losing interest
is to try and actively prevent it. You can’t show your ex that their coldness or
apathy bothers you, and you can’t show any signs of neediness or desperation. If you start texting
your ex and asking stuff like, “hey why arent you responding??” or “do you hate me or something”,
they’re going to become irritated by the pestering and they’ll clearly see your desperation….
which in turn will destroy the progress you’ve made up to that point, and make it more difficult
to change how your ex feels about you and the possibility of getting back together.
So, if you recognize that you’re in this kind of situation,
here’s what you need to do: take a deep breath, and prevent yourself from doing anything to try
and change things. Don’t contact your ex at all for at least a few days.
Sometimes, depending on how far along you are in the process of winning him or her back,
you might need to avoid contact for weeks. Pretty much ANYTHING you try to do to change how your ex
feels or stop them from growing cold and distant will have the opposite effect. I promise that as
difficult as this might be in the moment, it’s the only way to turn your situation around.
Don’t talk about your ex with your friends or family, either,
if you can avoid it. That’s especially true when it comes to mutual friends,
who might tell your ex if they hear you complaining about their sudden change of
heart and lack of interest. Keep your mind occupied and stay busy, because otherwise
you’ll torture yourself by overanalyzing and worrying about everything your ex says and does.
It’s best to try and think about your ex as little as possible while you’re
in this situation… talking about it with friends might feel good, but it actually
just fixates your thoughts on the issue and causes your fears and anxiety to get worse.
If you want to get a second opinion on your situation or your ex’s behaviour, you can go
to BreakupBrad.com/Coaching and sign up for my 1-on-1 coaching program and talk to me about it…
otherwise, try to ignore your ex completely and focus your mind on other productive or fun stuff.
Often, ignoring your ex for a while -- even just for a week or two -- can solve the problem.
It’s common for people to have mixed feelings and up-and-down mood swings after a breakup,
and your ex may just be in a ‘down’ phase at the moment, hence the cold and distant
behaviour. At the very least, by ignoring your ex when you sense him or her backing away,
you’re ensuring that you don’t make matters worse.
If you still get the sense your ex is losing interest and backing away after you cut off
contact for a while, then your next step is to break the ice with something FUN and super brief
and casual… for instance, don’t re-open the lines of communication by asking your ex if
they want to talk about your breakup. Well, don’t EVER do that, but you know what I mean… don’t say
anything that might come across as needy, boring, or require an extensive response from your ex.
Instead, just make him or her laugh. Share an inside joke or short anecdote
that happened to you over the past week. Send a funny meme you found on Instagram.
Bring up an old inside joke that he or she will have forgotten about. Send a link to a viral
video of your ex’s favourite celebrity doing something stupid on camera. Whatever it is,
just keep it short, upbeat, and make it seem as though nothing is out of the ordinary. That’s the
kind of thing that will make your ex WANT to talk to you, and you can build on it from there…. Just
remember not to show any desperation or fall back into any old needy or clingy habits. Make your ex
want to talk to you and be around you, and they’ll stop backing away and start to regain interest.
Hope you guys found this video helpful… as always, visit BreakupBrad.com/coaching
for my 1-on-1 coaching help with your unique or unusual situation.
And feel free to drop your quick questions or feedback in the comments below… after you
click like and subscribe, of course. Thanks for watching, and best of luck! Bye for now.