How do I get my loved ones to understand what I'm doing?
How do I get my family to support this endeavor?
How do I convince them
that what I'm doing is not some crazy thing?
It's actually a solid idea.
Something that I truly am passionate about.
How do I convince them
that this is just not one of the other things
that I've tried in the past?
This is something that really has meaning to me.
These questions are reoccurring.
I've had one too many coaches and entrepreneurs
who are just about to start their business
and so passionate about it, they really wanna go all in.
And then they feel like they're being held back
by their families.
That they're being held back by people that they love
because something in the past didn't work out.
And so there's an assumption,
there's a judgment,
that's being made for something that they're pursuing now.
Well, here are some common objections that I hear
from new business owners, new coaches
of what their families tell them
or ask of them when they're about to start something new.
The first perception that our loved ones lay on us
is you won't make enough money.
This thing doesn't make enough money.
It won't make enough money.
And this usually comes from how they understand
or see something in the world.
If you are starting a coaching business
and they have seen a couple of people
talk about how hard it is to make money,
they start to believe,
well it must be really hard to make money,
and so my loved one that I love so much
that is you will also not make enough money.
They're threatened by this change.
Their financial safety and security might be threatened
by this change because suddenly they feel
somebody who was doing something and was successful at it
and making some money around it,
now that money's gonna stop.
There's a lesson that I learned early on in my life.
As a young adult
I had chosen the path of becoming an engineer.
And the reason why I chose that path
was because I grew up in a very humble beginning.
And at that time in India,
the way to get financial security
was either to become an engineer, become a doctor,
or become an accountant.
Now I had no passion for accounting or biology,
but I did have passion for physics and math,
and so I was like, maybe I'll become an engineer.
And so I signed up for it, started studying for it.
And then over time I realized as I was talking to engineers
that even when they do become engineers,
and more specifically computer engineers,
which is what I wanted to become,
they tend to do really repetitive tasks.
They tend to do things that are just repetitive
and that seemed to be the early part of the career.
And that was not fascinating for me.
I was excited about the study and I was curious
about, you know, solving complex problems
where I had to bang my head on the wall
to try to solve something.
And it's really nice and it's fun for me to do that.
So when I learned about that the careers
actually available in engineering had nothing to do
with the curiosity that I had,
but mostly to do with repetitive tasks,
my excitement dwindled, my excitement went away.
So one day, I took the courage and I wrote a letter.
I wrote a letter to my father.
I didn't have the courage to talk to him directly
but I did have the courage to write a letter.
And in that letter, I went on to explain
why I don't wanna pursue engineering anymore.
And my father and my family had invested significant
of money in training me and educating me.
And I said, no, this is not the career that I would like.
And I went on to explain why
in the future this career does not look exciting.
The key message I tried to communicate
in that letter was becoming an engineer
might make me wealthy,
but it's not gonna make me happy.
I would rather be happy than be wealthy.
And that is something that when my father read,
he was very proud of me that I prioritized my happiness
over money, and secondly, he also found
that that is what he truly wanted.
Our loved ones are usually relaying their fears
around how we may not be happy.
We may not be successful.
Their fear is actually a sign of care.
But if we can communicate to them, explain them
on why what we are doing is so very important to us
and how it relates to our personal joy,
they may be willing to listen.
So, when your loved one says, you won't make enough money,
maybe it is time for you to explain how money
has less priority to you than your joy,
than your sense of purpose,
than your sense of meaning,
than your sense of excitement for life.
And once they understand that,
they may be willing to negotiate
on how to create financial security
around the family, around themselves,
while letting you pursue your passion,
while letting you pursue your new career
and your new choices.
Now, once you've explained then how you're passionate
about something and how you're willing to do the work,
and you're so excited and so forth,
they may come up with an argument
and the argument might be something
to the tune of, hey, you don't have any clients yet.
How are you gonna make any money?
How are you gonna create any progress?
You don't have any clients yet.
Well, if you really listen into what they're saying
is they're saying, hey,
how do we make sure that you have a plan,
that you are safe, that you're secure,
that what you're pursuing is actually going to work?
Do you have a strategy?
Do you have a playbook that you're going to follow?
If not, maybe you wanna have a plan.
And then you wanna relay that plan to your loved one.
You wanna relay that plan to the people that care.
So all they're seeking really here
is if you have a plan, if you have a strategy,
if you have a playbook you're gonna follow, great,
because then you will have clients
in future if not immediately.
And so they can play along with you.
I think the key here is to communicate and involve them
in the conversation that might be totally happening
only in your head at this point.
In your head, you might be like,
I know exactly what I'm gonna do,
how I'm gonna create clients,
how I'm gonna create progress and so forth.
But because they don't know it, they're resisting it.
Because they don't understand it, they're resisting it.
Once you reach out to them with a plan, with a playbook,
with a strategy, they get comfortable
because they know that you have thought this through.
Then they understand that you are actually comfortable
in that discomfort of creating a new business.
Sometimes you will find your relatives, your parents,
even your loved one sometimes, asking this question.
Don't you have a family?
Don't you have to take care of your family?
Don't you have to take care of your parents?
Don't you have to take care of your kids?
Don't you have to take care of your partner?
And when somebody asks that question,
yes it's a form of care, but it's also mildly uninformed.
You see, all of us are always seeking some meaning
in our life, feeling like we are alive.
We look at examples where, from our perspective,
it looks like these people are alive.
Kids love athletes because of that or superheroes.
Because they're living their purpose. They're alive.
They do what they really love,
and they're doing it every day.
It makes children feel alive.
It makes us as adults feel alive
because we are looking at somebody
truly expressing their full selves.
They're not holding back.
They are doing what they feel is right for them.
And they seem like they're so happy doing it.
And that is what, when you become that example,
they will be looking up to you.
So if somebody asks you that question of, hey,
don't you have a family, don't you have kids?
The answer is pretty much, I know my kids
are not gonna listen to what I say,
but they will follow what I show them.
If I show them, I live my purpose.
I live meaning.
If I live with joy, if I live with my greatest expression,
they will see that that's possible for them.
They will make their dad and mom their hero.
They will go, that's the person I wanna be,
because they're so passionate, they're so willing.
They're so courageous.
And that is true for our parents too.
When they feel we are happy,
when they see us being so happy,
so joyous, so passionate, so living it up, they feel happy.
They're happy to see you happy.
If your partner really loves you,
they don't need you to take care of them so much so,
they want you to take care of yourself.
Because when you take care of yourself,
you take care of the family.
When you are happy, your family is happy.
When you are joyous, your family is joyous.
Communicate what really it means
for us to take care of our family.
All of us are very competent human beings
that can take care of ourselves and of our families.
The thing that we miss
is that we forget that the first vessel we need to fill,
the first joy we need to find, is us.
Because when we are joyous,
we create momentum of joy in our families
and extended families.
So be that beacon of light and create the argument
by presenting a real plan that shows
how you are going to pursue your passion and live it up.
That you are going to help everybody around you get elevated
because of how you will be elevated.
And more often than not,
people who really care for us
would say something like,
starting something new is so risky.
And it is true. It is risky to start something new.
And to lower the risks and gain your family's support,
it's important you know when it's the right time
for you to go into full-time coaching.
Watch out for the four signs that show
that you're ready for transition,
which I share in this next video.
See you there.