Hey, guys.
I'm Ashley Graham, model, designer, entrepreneur,
and body activist.
I'm so grateful to be where I am today,
but the path wasn't easy.
Now I'm so honored to help others gain the confidence
that they need to take the next step in their lives
to be totally, unapologetically fearless.
This is Kaiden.
Kaiden is 26 years old and identifies
as gender non-binary.
I am assigned female at birth.
But I never felt good about how I was expressing myself
on the outside.
I don't necessarily want to be a guy,
but I don't want to be a woman.
Kaiden is proud of who they are, but they're having a hard time
finding other people that have gone
through similar experiences.
I feel alone during this process.
No one knows how much you're struggling.
Total Wireless is connecting us to help them take
the next step in their journey.
I know the difference between gender and sex
can be so confusing.
Yeah.
Can you explain that for us?
For me, I am assigned female birth so, my sex is female.
And it's always going to be female.
I'm not going to change that.
My gender, though, is how I feel up here, how I feel in here,
and how I want the world to see me.
I'm non-binary.
I'm a trans masculine individual--
OK.
--which means I'm not man, and I'm not a woman.
I want to live in a world where I don't need a label
and I can just exist.
You're happy not being a man.
You're happy not being a woman.
Correct.
You said, I am Kaiden.
Absolutely.
So you've had a couple surgeries.
About five weeks ago, I had top surgery.
OK.
And then September 13, I had a total hysterectomy.
And I'm feeling pretty relieved to have
the weight off my chest.
No pun intended?
All puns intended.
[LAUGHTER]
What was the hardest part after surgery?
It's trying to feel OK in the world you exist
in when you feel good about yourself,
but you don't fit in with that world.
You go back to work.
Yeah.
What was that like starting work again?
Like, hey, guys.
My name's Kaiden.
Please refer to me with they/them pronouns.
And how did everybody handle it?
It was awkward.
When you come out to a bunch of people,
it was not easy, because they knew me as someone else.
How did your family react?
They want to blame something.
There's an answer to everything.
The answer is, this is just me.
When did you, all of a sudden, say, this is what I want?
I was teaching at a Title I school in Tacoma.
And I was going by Professor KB instead of Mr. or Mrs.
But it was that fall when I was kind of reflecting a lot.
And I talked to my partner, Steph.
Something's got to change.
How long have you and Stephanie been together?
Two years coming up in November.
Wow.
Yeah.
I want to give her so much credit for being open to me.
So Stephanie has been a beacon of light.
But do you have any friends that have transitioned or are
non-binary?
Yeah.
So I met one person on Instagram, James--
Aw.
--and he's living his best life.
When you are living in such a world where you feel insecure,
you need a constant set of support systems
with people where you're like, hey.
If I text you, I know you're going
to text back kind of thing.
What are your biggest concerns for the future?
Feeling accepted or finding people that I can feel like I
fit in with.
A community.
Absolutely.
Well, Kaiden, I just want to say thank you.
Thank you for being so brave, for talking to me,
for being here.
I know that you face adversity every single day
of your life in this world.
But I want to show you something very special right
through those curtains.
OK.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
All right.
Roll the tape, please.
Hey, Kaiden.
It's your friend James.
First of all, I want to say how proud I am of you.
And I want you to know that you're not alone,
and I'm always here for you.
And I'd also like to introduce you
to some other people that understand
what you're going through and also have your back.
Hey, I'm Wyatt, and I identify as a trans masculine person.
You are absolutely not alone.
There's a lot of people that don't even
believe in the idea of non-binary, transgender.
Most people think that I'm doing it for attention.
The biggest thing that people misunderstand
is, we're not trying to be someone else.
We're trying to be ourselves.
I was born and assigned male at birth.
And I've been on hormones, but I've kept my beard.
And it's very confusing to a lot of people.
Don't let people freak you out about your body.
I figure, we all are given our bodies kind of like cars.
And it's up to you how you want to soup it up.
Kaiden, I think your story was amazing,
and I relate a lot to your story.
If you ever need anything, you can contact me.
You don't ever have to be alone.
We have your back.
Come on over, Kaiden.
We're waiting for you.
You are more powerful than you know.
So how do you feel after seeing that video?
Touched.
You feel like almost, like, an arm's reach away, though.
Mm-hmm.
And it's like, great.
Let's hang out.
Let's find ways to feel more connected.
Well, I know how important that is for you,
and I know how important support and a community is for you.
So I want you to meet a few people.
Come on out!
You came!
How are you?
I'm good.
Hey!
This is everybody in the video.
Hello!
[MUSIC - ANDRA DAY, "RISE UP"]
(SINGING) We'll rise up.
Kind of funny how you just said they
were just an arm's length away.
Yeah.
And now everybody is.
I think everybody has a few things they want to say.
First of all, I'm so excited about this year for you.
It has been fast and furious.
And I know how scary the other side of transitioning
is, where you're like, oh, no.
Now everyone sees me, and I'm accountable for that.
You're only at the beginning of building a huge community
that you're a part of.
And we all got your back.
That's awesome.
I'm a trans guy, and I've been where you are.
It does get better, and just don't ever suffer alone.
We're here for you.
Thank you.
And we all here understand what it's
like to be misgendered constantly--
Yeah.
--to have to overcome obstacles and to navigate a world that's
often designed against us.
But we also understand what it's like to be resilient, right?
To have community behind us and to be loved and celebrated.
And so we're all here to let you know that we love you,
and we're proud of you, and we're excited for you.
Yes.
[LAUGHS]
How do you feel?
Overwhelmed.
I'm sure.
It's a lot.
When you find people that can have shared experiences
with you, and then they can say they see you in a way
that no one else can, that's super special.
It is special, because everybody here
has been through very similar experiences.
I mean, I'm feeling the support as well.
Yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
OK.
So we want you to stay connected with everybody here.
And so Total Wireless and I want to give you a phone.
Whoo!
That is awesome.
Thank you.
Yes!
Don't you love it when things fly in?
I mean, yeah.
But also, I know how important Stephanie is to you.
And we want to give you a trip to Vegas
to stay at the Venetian.
No way.
Yes.
[APPLAUSE]
You're going to have some sexy time.
Yes.
[LAUGHTER]
And you get to go to Ellen's show
during the 12 Days of Giveaways.
No.
Yeah!
[APPLAUSE]
That is awesome.
You watch that all the time, and you're like, ah, if only.
If only.
How are you feeling?
Grateful.
Well, I really do hope that you stay
connected with your friends.
They came here to support you.
And whether the outside world says whatever they say,
you look back at these faces and you remember, I am loved.
Thanks, guys.
Love you, Kaiden.
There is a huge community of people
that have been misunderstood.
Finding those people today have shown me that I'm not alone.
Because I feel seen.
I feel valid.
I am so glad that now Kaiden has a community that's not just
an arm's reach away.
They're right there.
I hope that people that have a family member or a friend that
is going through this journey and transition,
that the thing they can do the most is just ask them, hey,
are you OK?
So you can better respect that person
and hopefully show them love and kindness
the way they deserve to be.
[MUSIC PLAYING]