- As if this is a question
that a straight person a, wants to ask
or b, is like too afraid to ask.
(upbeat music)
- Hi, I'm Isabel and I identify as queer
and I use she her pronouns.
- My name is Sam and I identify as gay and as gender fluid.
- I'm Jeff and I identify as gay.
- I'm Hanifah and I identify as queer.
- I'm Tom and I'm gay.
I don't know what else to say (laughs).
- I sent around forms to a bunch of my straight friends
on my social media, sends around at work
and have gathered a bunch of random questions.
- So let's see what straight people
have always been too afraid to ask queer people.
- Straight people lay it on me.
I mean (laughs).
(upbeat music)
- Oh God, wow, (laughs)
straight in with the personal (beeps).
- I have had sex with the opposite sex.
I didn't come out until I was 24 actually
and I was having sex with members of the opposite sex.
Up until then, I think the reason I was so confused
and came out so late was because I actually did enjoy it.
I did enjoy having sex with women.
I wasn't disgusted by it, I wasn't grossed out,
I was into it.
I think what was missing were proper feelings,
which I didn't realize I didn't have
until I met my first boyfriend.
And that was the first time I was kind of like oh,
this is different.
- One of the many amazing things
that I have experienced with, you know, having sex
with the same gender is that consent
is a really large part of the conversation.
You have to talk about what your limits are,
what you like, what you don't like.
And so it's that consensus very much I,
like part of the foundation in a way that
when I've had sex with
people of a different gender than me,
it hasn't necessarily been like that.
Cis men, especially sort of assume,
this sort of one sexual narrative
that doesn't leave a lot of room
for negotiation and exploration.
- Just that it was a woman (laughs).
What can I say, just that it was just yeah,
just that it was a woman.
(upbeat music)
- Are we really, are we really going there?
Are we really going there?
(upbeat music)
- What, who asked this question?
Like no offense, but get it together.
- Straight people don't need pride to feel normal,
to feel loved, to be celebrated.
- It's just default.
It's literally the default sexuality,
why would you need to celebrate that?
Like, I don't know.
It's just so awful that, you know,
we have situations where we wanna celebrate
parts of the community that
may be undervalued or maybe smaller
and then you have people come out saying,
oh, but what about me?
You know, it's like in all lives matter,
you know, way of thinking.
It's like, and what about me, when's my pride month?
And I'm just like, you don't need one,
you just don't need one, we're always doing that, so.
- We need to not forget that, you know,
gay pride was a protest
about wanting to be treated the same as everyone else.
So if you are the everyone else
who's getting treated, you know, the best way,
why would you need to, what are you protesting?
- So, like, what do you want?
- What more do you want?
What more do you want?
- You've had rights since the beginning of time, so.
- Let us have this one month.
Let us have this time to celebrate how far we've come
and how far we need to go.
(upbeat music)
- First of all, straight Pride Month
would be boring as (beep).
- There will just might be a lot of food
with mayonnaise everywhere.
- So everyone has to wear Hush Puppies.
A lot of tropical house music.
- The Westboro Baptist Church,
they would like pay for the whole thing.
Sponsor it, they get the banners made.
- A country music festival, while you're drinking beers.
- Oh, Nickelback would play, oh no.
- JK Rowling, JK Rowling would have her whole,
she would have like the TERF stage and just be,
it would just be awful,
if there was straight Pride, I'm sorry.
(upbeat music)
- (laughs) Okay, I think they're fine,
I think they're great.
- Oh, I think they're great,
I'm like perfectly fine with that, yeah.
- I'm very curious as to why this was asked, to be honest.
I wonder, is there like a stigma
against or for hairy bums in the straight world?
My opinion is, I will be honest,
I prefer a smooth butt,
however, there's an element of naturalness
that I find beautiful
and there's an element of not wanting to shame someone
for something that they can't help
such as having a hairy butt.
(upbeat music)
- This question does come up a lot
and people always like, why would you do that?
Put it this way, people wouldn't do it
as much as they do if it wasn't good.
That's all I'll say.
- A bit of both, honestly.
I mean, sometimes I have and I'm just like, oh my god, yes.
And then sometimes I'm just like,
nah, this is (sighs), I can't, anymore.
- And also, if you're uncomfortable,
if you're not in the right mood
or if you're anxious or nervous,
you can be a little bit more tense
and then that will make it less pleasurable.
So, I think they kind of, to be more pleasurable,
you really, you know, you need to be comfortable
with the partner that you're with.
And be comfortable saying what you like
and what you don't like.
It's the same that they say with women and sex.
(upbeat music)
- Yeah.
- Yes, yeah, definitely.
- There were moments.
Definitely when I was younger.
- Especially when I was younger,
definitely wished I was straight
and I don't know, I think you just equate
that with life being easier.
I think that's the main thing.
It's just like, it would just be so easy if I was.
- Maybe for like, a little bit when I was like really young,
before I really knew what like being gay was,
like, there's definitely a feeling of being different.
That's something that maybe can be a bit challenging
'cause when you're young
and you're around loads of other people your age,
you just wanna fit in.
- You just kind of wanna be normal
and you don't want anyone to notice you.
And you just like wanna disappear
and your body's changing and it's all gross.
- I wished I was normal, I wished that I fit in.
And the reason I didn't fit in was because of my sexuality.
- So I think there were times that I wanted to be straight
just because I wanted it to be easier.
But since coming out, I have not wished that.
I love being queer, it's amazing.
- I'm very proud of the person I am today
and I'm very proud of who I've become and what I stand for
and me wishing I was straight
means that I wish that I was different than who I am
and I fucking love myself, man.
- I'm very thankful that I'm made this way.
I think it's a big part of who I am
and I wouldn't change it for anything.
- Like you are who you are.
I don't, I wouldn't wanna change myself
and you just gotta follow your heart.
Because there's so much I wouldn't experience,
there's so much culture, so many friends,
so many places that I wouldn't have gone to
and like so much art and just every, the culture,
queer culture is so rich,
and I wouldn't trade that for anything.
(upbeat music)
- First of all, this would require me to have a partner.
So if you're watching this, and you're single,
and you wanna have kids, hit me up,
my Instagram is below. (bell rings)
I don't think it's that hard of a conversation.
I think if you are with a partner
and you are unable to have the conversation about kids,
you should not be together.
Because, you don't have open dialogue.
- I am 23 years old, this is not a conversation
I plan on having for a long time.
- I mean, I just constantly say that
I find children really annoying.
So that's kind of my current stance on that.
- I would say, I would see if they were keen on having
a biological child
or if they wouldn't want it to get on the adoption route.
It's a way bigger factor that I think,
I guess like heterosexual couples don't have to think about
unless they have like fertility issues,
so it's yeah, it's quite tricky.
I guess it's less hard for two women though,
than two men because at least the women have like
the housing situation to grow the baby.
I don't know what two guys would do that,
that's tough, sorry, guys.
(upbeat music)
- I mean, I didn't tell my parents I was gay
till I was like 17, which for some people is very old
and for others is very young.
I think that's like a sort of
middle of the road type of age.
My parents were like, yeah, cool, fine.
Honestly, within 10 minutes of me saying it,
we had the conversation and moved on.
I'm lucky that they were totally fine with it
'cause they saw it coming.
- Both were really good.
My dad especially was really nice about it.
And also, I didn't wanna say I'm gay because
I personally hate the whole trope of coming out.
Like, I just, I don't know,
I just find it really annoying that it's like,
you know, well, bitch you assumed.
So why would like, why do I have to come out
and tell you that you're wrong.
- It was a very non-issue.
I think I'm very privileged in the sense that,
I was from a family that's very accepting
and very loving of everybody.
- I unfortunately came out
while my dad was dying of brain cancer.
It was something I wanted to tell him before he passed away.
And he wasn't all there,
so I actually had to tell him a few times,
took like about three times for it to sink in,
which was hard.
But I can't blame him, I have to blame the brain cancer.
The hardest thing for me was that I almost,
I wasn't fully ready to come out, I don't think,
but because my dad was dying, I came out.
I didn't have all the answers yet
but I felt the need to come out
because I didn't know
if it was gonna be my last conversation with my dad.
And I didn't want to get to a point where
my dad didn't know things about me when he passed.
- All right, so that's all the questions.
I was definitely surprised by how many people
wanted to know how I was going to have kids.
Like, are you my mom?
Stop (laughs).
- Yeah, I thought they were quite tame.
I thought they would be really,
I guess the ones for the guys were kind of intrusive.
The straight pride question threw me off,
'cause honestly, I have no idea
who's like, if anyone genuinely wants that.
- It's so funny, It's just like people feel more comfortable
asking incredibly personal stuff to gay people.
Like, I wouldn't come along and just be like,
when's the last (duck quacks) you've given?
You know, (laughs) maybe I should,
maybe I should be asking those question,
and I will from now on.
- If there's anything that you'd like to know
that we didn't answer, put it in the comments below.
And this year, like every year, Happy Pride.
- I know we would want to celebrate pride
in a different way, but everyone just stay safe,
stay healthy and stay gay.
(upbeat music)