-Penn and -- -Hey, Jimmy, how you doing, man?
-I'm great. Thank you so much for being here.
You know, we always love it when you guys come on the show.
I personally love it.
You know, I think I've said this before.
You're one of the reasons why I have a career,
is because of you guys, and this goes back to the --
-And don't ever forget that, Jimmy.
-[ Laughs ] Never! Never, never!
No, please, but it was the Montreal Comedy Festival.
-Yes. -Years ago.
And I remember it was new faces,
and I was brand-new, and I -- I had a manager and no agent.
That's how -- Life is so weird at the time.
And I go -- And she said, "Look, when you get off the stage,
there's going to be a lot of agents
that want to sign you, so let me handle it."
Okay. I go, "Okay. Absolutely." I was so nervous.
I was ironing my shirt and getting it all ready.
I was probably 21.
And I got on stage, and I had the worst act,
the worst performance I ever had.
I just bombed. It was terrible.
And I got off the stage, and no one was waiting for me.
And my manager was there, and she was like --
She was trying to signal agents, and no one wanted to see me.
But the guys that were running it,
Willie Mercer and Bruce Hills,
said, "Hey, we know that your act is better,
and we showed it to Penn & Teller,
and so we asked them.
Would you like to open for them at the St-Denis Theatre
tomorrow night at the Montreal --"
And I go, "Are you kidding me?" I'd be honored."
And I opened for you guys, and I had a great night.
I crushed. And I got off the stage.
-You sure did. You were great.
-And there was my agent.
I signed with APA at the time, Danny Robinson,
and the rest is --
So I always mean to bring it up and just say thanks again
'cause that meant so much to me when I was first starting out.
But I love you guys and I love what you've done.
And now you're in season 7 of "Fool Us," which I love,
but were you able to finish filming before the quarantine?
-It was incredible.
We wrapped on March 12th, which was a Thursday.
-Yeah, that was it. -March 13th, the --
everybody finally was finding out about the pandemic.
And then Saturday, we were supposed to have a live show
which we chose to not do for the safety of our audiences,
and then we've been locked down ever since.
So when you see "Fool Us,"
it's all this idyllic pre-pandemic time.
-You came up with something fun to show us tonight.
Have you -- Zoom magic. Is this a --
I mean, you've been doing this for 45 years.
Is this a curveball that you didn't see coming?
-It's harder to do tricks when the people can't touch
the props back and forth.
But we've got something that actually --
We've got a card trick for you, and when I say "we,"
I'm kind of wrong.
Because Teller's 11 miles away from me.
He's going to do the card trick for you.
And, Jimmy, I'm just here to help
as kind of your guide through this,
to make it a little better,
but Teller's going to do the trick for you.
'Cause our problem is we think card tricks
are often very, very wimpy. -Yeah.
-So, we've got a trick called the card stab.
We're going to start with you picking a card, Jimmy.
Teller will riffle down the deck,
and you just have to yell "stop" whenever you want.
-Stop! -Okay.
That's the card you chose right there.
The 3 -- Well, Teller --
The 3 of clubs is the card
we always use when we're forcing a card.
I have a 3 of clubs ready all the time.
That's kind of our signature card.
It's kind of an insult to Jimmy to force a card on him
that we've forced on him before.
Get the card out of here. I'm sorry, Jimmy.
-No problem. -Teller's --
You deserve more respect than that.
You'll have a real card selected. Say stop again.
-Sure. Stop.
-Okay. That's a legitimate card there.
The 4 of spades. So remember that, Jimmy.
That's important for the card stab.
And, now -- What --
What the hell was that, Teller? What the hell was that?
You put your shoulders up like you were trying to fly.
I mean, even on Zoom, that looked like a move.
Teller, show us the top card.
The top card of the deck. Show it to us.
Yeah, he moved it right to the top.
That was that move.
It was like he was trying to teach somebody the move.
Give them a real shuffle, Teller.
Give them a real shuffle and lose the card --
Sorry, Jimmy. We'll do this right.
-No offense. -And show us the top card.
Show us the top card.
Okay. That's not the card.
We're okay, Jimmy. That's fine.
Teller -- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's -- What's in your right hand, teller?
Show us your right hand.
-[ Laughs ]
-Yeah, he palmed off the damn card.
And you've even got your thumb sticking out,
so you're pointing to the idiot that's palming a card.
So put that back in the deck and then shuffle them up.
And you've got to watch him, Jimmy.
Show us your hands empty. Hands empty.
Not palmed there. Good. Okay.
So, now the card's really lost in the deck,
and now he's really putting them there.
Now the trick starts, Jimmy.
Now it's the card stab. Go ahead, Teller.
Do the -- Jimmy's not believing that!
You're looking down by your nose.
Just do the trick, Teller.
Oh, you didn't even get a card. You didn't even get a --
Teller, hurry up. We're dying here.
Go. Go, go, go. Okay. What are you --
That's not the card, Teller.
He picked a black card. That's a red card.
Just do it and do it fast!
Hurry, Teller, don't --
[ Teller screaming ]
-Is that your card, Jimmy? The 4 of spades?
Is that your card right there?
-Yes. Teller, are you okay?! What is go--
-There wasn't a knife there.
It was just a -- It was just a gag.
Jimmy's a little bit nervous
about ripping your fingers off, so be careful there.
Show them it's a trick there.
There you go. See, I just was here to help.
I just helped. -I love you guys so much.
Teller, please stay safe. Oh, my gosh.
I love you guys. Come back whenever.
And hopefully next time we're in person. Okay?
-Yeah, I hope so, too.
-Stay safe. Penn & Teller, everybody.
Check out "Penn & Teller: Fool Us"
Monday nights at 9:00 p.m. on The CW.
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