'I don't trust myself'
What does it mean?
We all think we know what it means, but what does it mean?
'I don't trust myself' means what?
I mean certainly run and punch someone in the face or something
What does it mean 'you don't trust yourself'
you don't trust your mind?
(?) we know that one
don't trust your mind, maybe.
It says the most vulgar
the most
inappropriate, vile things.
So, I am sure you already know you don't really trust your mind.
So, we throw him out. Who is left now to not be trusted?
What does it mean 'I don't trust myself?'
It's seen when I say that.
Yes.
So the untrustworthy self
and the untrusting self
are both seen by what?
You just admit
'you know it is seen when it is spoken and you challenge me, then I see, aha.'
This untrustworthy self is what then?
It is an idea that you have about yourself at the moment.
It's a self-image you're holding unto at the moment,
something you are believing
at the moment.
'I don't trust myself'
is a thought that you either choose to believe or to reject.
So if you choose to believe this thought
it means that you are there before this thought!
You were not feeling untrusting towards yourself previously
then suddenly the thought come and suddenly the feeling come 'I don't trust myself!'
because it is believed!
But you were there before the thought came!
Who were you then?!
And now when the thought comes do you become the thought?
No.
Only if you believe in it.
This is the power of belief.
It's one of your fundamental powers
When you believe something you believe it into existence and it becomes your experience.
Do you follow me or not?
Yes.
Is it of some value what we are speaking?
Okay.
So you say 'I don't trust myself'
What does it mean 'I don't trust myself'?
All the time?
'I don't trust myself'
Can it be just a thought?
You want to go out this way? Why not?!
Can it be not just a feeling?
Maybe a habitual feeling
that you have accommodated this type of that in the past and now it's easy to say a second time
and the third time ...
it becomes easy and after a while you believe it and guess what
nobody can trust you either.
If you can't trust yourself who will trust you?
'I can't trust myself'
'What type of work are you doing?' Bank Manager. 'Oh my god, no, get out.'
All these things are thoughts!
They have no power!
A thought cannot believe in itself, it cannot think itself.
It becomes a potential, a probability
only through contact.
A thought arising by itself without any claimant, what happens to it? Where does it go?
Whose thought is it?
A thought merely appearing or arising in the mind is not enough to call it a thought.
Only when it connects with a thinker-thought
then the process of thinking is born out of that.
So many potential stupid thoughts come
and you don't even remember them. Why? Because you didn't connect with them.
You only connect it with the ones that you have had a relationship in the past.
And you have had a certain feeling from them.
Good or bad. And then it's back again.
Tea? Yes. Earl Grey? Sure. Two sugars.
You're in, you're in.
Is it possible that as I said you don't have to overcome or transcend
something which has no interest for you.
Where would you have to work at it or overcome?
It doesn't register in consciousness.
It hasn't happened,
if you haven't touched it.
You see?
We only have to transcend such thoughts which have created a relationship with and then they are
in some way they've caught unto you and give you the sense of being a person,
then that will create some sense of struggle, you see.
So I am still with you when you say 'I cannot trust myself'
Now you saw that.
So if you see that it's not you, it's only a bubble arising.
You who sees the thought or the belief
'I can't trust myself', now you reject this belief, it means nothing at all.
I gave it its meaning.
I gave it its power.
A thought arises, it has now power of its own.
It runs on phantom power, which means it has to connect with the thinker and then it will generate the process of thinking.
You see.
So all its power it derives from you, it sucks the power from your investment.
Your belief, identity empowers the thought, isn't it?
This is why you think you are suffering from every thought that comes.
Maybe two or three main ones are enough to mess up your life for a long time.
Not 200 or 300. Nobody can stand 200 or 300 thoughts unless they are in a madhouse and then they cannot stand it also.
Actually if too many thoughts come you might find yourself totally silent.
It's just too much to engage with, forget the whole thing.
And you may find total silence.
You can juggle with three balls, some do with five, some do with ten. Can you do with 50?
You're not a juggler.
Two is enough. Three is enough.
You who sees the thought or the feeling ...
You are what?
Can you be trusted?
You who sees the untrustworthy sense of self
and says 'Aha, it's not here, it's kind of there now.
That which perceives that but is not holding on or giving any value to that ...
What is that one? Is that one trustworthy?
Yes.
Does it care about trustworthiness?
No!
Stay in that place.