- What single piece of life advice would you give me?
- Don't listen to anything Ruffalo says.
(dramatic music)
- I want to learn a little bit more about you guys
when you were my age.
- Nope.
- Wow.
- How would you describe
your 12-year-old self in three words?
- Cherubic is the first one that comes to mind.
(all laugh)
- That was like seven words.
- I felt cooler than I really was.
But everybody was really nice,
so they never told me.
(all laugh)
- [Mark] Kind of chubby.
- Band geek.
- Whoa.
- Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
- Also a good song.
- I thought it was just a song.
- It's also a way of life.
- You should know.
- I should know, with three daughters.
My favorite was Stand By Me.
I loved Stand By Me, yes.
- Mannequin.
- Ooh, Mannequin.
- Wow, Kim Cattrall.
- Fletch.
- Wow, good deep cut, loved Fletch.
- [Jennifer] Chevy Chase.
- Yeah, Chevy Chase.
- Yes.
- "Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia in a cup of hot fat."
(all laugh)
- They used to call me ET.
- Bless. - Why?
- Because I had a very long neck.
- No, that's so cold.
- What are those little sons of bitches' names?
- Mark?
- Fart Buffalo.
(all laugh)
- Because those two words go together.
- Yes. - Very smoothly.
- [Jennifer] That's a good alias like for a hotel.
- Yeah. - Fart Buffalo.
- "I'm here, table for two, Fart Buffalo."
(all laugh)
- I hear you're sold out.
I'm Fart Buffalo.
(all laugh)
- "We're not sold out anymore, Mr. Buffalo."
It's Chip, because I looked like a chipmunk.
I had very big, buck teeth.
- They call me that.
- You grew nicely into them, though.
- Thank you very much. - I have massive teeth.
- Join the club, buddy.
and were you in any camps or clubs?
- I would say algebra.
- My God.
- Algebra was fun.
Um, geometry wasn't.
- They all sound the same to me.
(all laugh)
- And the difference is ...
- My best and worst were actually the same.
- Really?
- French Two, which I failed twice.
(all laugh)
- Wow.
- How is that also your best?
Because you liked it?
- Well, I was brave in French One.
- Oh. (all laugh)
(foreign language).
- I found weed.
- Oh. - Oh, that makes sense.
- He's 12.
- Oh, sorry. (all laugh)
- 13. - 13.
- Yeah, it was around that time.
- Oh my God.
- Don't do it.
- His dad is right there.
- [Mark] Pedro.
- He's a very scary man.
- [Mark] I'm sorry.
- If you could tell your 12-year-old self one thing,
what would it be?
- That it's gonna get better.
- You're gonna be a star.
- Yeah, oh.
- Ryan, little Ryan.
- Little Chip.
Don't go!
- Forget about Fiona Gorchenski,
it's never gonna happen!
(all laugh)
- [Mark] What about you?
- I didn't understand makeup,
because I wasn't allowed to wear makeup,
so when I started, I wore theater makeup.
- Like full Buster Keaton, like a silent movie.
- Yeah, so I would probably have
a chat with myself about that.
"Maybe water it down a little bit.
"Make it match your actual flesh."
- Yeah.
- Don't listen to anything Ruffalo says.
- Don't do weed?
- Yeah, we'll start with that.
- Don't start. - Don't start.
- Don't even start.
- Jesus.
- I would say learn things.
Because it will make you happy when you're older.
So if you get a chance to learn something about music,
learn it, like just,
if you can learn a little bit of a language,
just see things and learn things.
- And read.
I know it sounds weird, because everyone's got
electronic devices now,
but like reading really opened up so much in my world
that I wasn't expecting.
So reading actual books.
- Challenge your comfort.
- Yes, it's true.
- Sage advice.
- Thank you, I think we've learned a lot today.
- God, there were some moments there that we just ...
- Wowee.
- Hey, what are all these people doing here?
I thought it was just us talking.
(dramatic music concludes)